Kids

This may come as a big surprise but I absolutely hate kids. Hate them. I always have. When I was a kid I hated other kids. I just don't understand why anyone would want to ruin their lives with little rug rats that touch shit they're not supposed to, yell at you, talk back and just genuinely make you cry whenever they aren't looking. I refuse to be a parent to anyone's kid (including my own). Being at work only solidifies that idea.

Ruby

Ruby was a little spawn of Satan. Ruby was the daughter of a guest staying at the hotel. They were checking out early in the morning and Ruby came down with her parents, laid on the lobby couch to try to fall back to sleep. After her parents took a total of 30 seconds to check out, her dad tried to get her up.

Pansy Dad: Ruby, honey, it's time to go.
Ruby: I'm tired daddy.
Pansy Dad: I know baby, but we need to go back home. We have to go to the airport.
Ruby: I just want to sleep.
Pansy Dad: You can always sleep on the plane honey, but now we have to go.
Ruby: SHUT THE HELL UP DAD! I WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP!
Pansy Dad: Sshh.. Ruby. Sshh... it's okay.

Ruby was 6 years old. ARE YOU SERIOUS? My mom would've slapped me clear if I not only talked back to her but if I cursed at her when I was 6 years old. Either that girl was brave or dad had his testicles removed a long time ago. I know there are parenting differences between now and when I was growing up but the general trend should be to fear your parents. They brought you in and dammit they aren't afraid to take you out.

Dora the Explorer

Something I've never understood about parents is when they let their kids run free in a store. Have you ever seen the parent with a kid screaming bloody murder in the store and the parent is completely calm and ignoring it? It's because that parent has had it. They are done. They know there is no point in arguing with a child or trying to not cause a scene so they just let it happen.

This was a constant at the office supply store. It was very easy to walk into the copy center, there was basically no barrier to stop anyone from doing so. Kids did it all the time but most parents, the good ones, would grab them before they could get too far into the copy center. These parents knew that at the copy center we had multiple cutters, and laminating machines set to 400 degrees on a daily basis.

There was one little girl who wandered into the copy center and her dad thought it was adorable. I didn't notice that she wandered in at first but when I did I told him that she couldn't be back there.

Working Girl: Sir she can't be back here.
Careless Father: Oh it's okay, she won't break anything.
Working Girl: It's not that. I have a laminating machine that is my waist high which can burn her if she touches it. I have blades and  paper cutters all around here including very expensive machines.
Careless Father: I just love how curious she is. It's so cute she explores everything always. Her favorite show is Dora the Explorer.
Working Girl: This Dora is going to melt her hand to a nub if you don't get her out of here.
Careless Father: Sorry. Hahaha

What should I have said to make him understand that his daughter may not leave the copy center with all of her limbs? Also, that's not cute. She can explore all she wants at home but this is a business. He's dealt with that so long that he now thinks it's cute, his mind is playing tricks on him. Your child putting themselves in danger is not cute and shouldn't be encouraged.

13 and Pregnant

One year, a group of young girls stayed at the hotel with their counselors and parents. Apparently this group changes the lives of girls who have had a bad history in the early goings of their life. The problems of these girls ranged from failing all of their classes to being sexually abused as children. This program was made to turn their lives around. They took a trip to San Francisco after making great strides in the program.

The second night the parents/counselors ordered pizza for the group which included 4 adults and 6 girls. They wanted to eat it in the dining room of the hotel. They ate their pizza and the adults started drinking wine. While the women were giggling and getting drunk, the girls were hanging out in the lobby getting pretty bored. A few of the girls went outside to talk but then a group of boys walked by. That's when it turned into a damn Disney channel series; boys were flirting with girls, girls were flirting back and the adults were negligent.

The women noticed that the girls were flirting which they brushed off. Then the girls invited the boys into the lobby, which they also brushed off. Then they invited the boys upstairs. That's when the adults said no but still continued to drink. My coworker thought I should have said something to them but I was 20 at the time and honestly didn't care, they didn't bother me and complimented my shoes. That is not my responsibility. If the girls want to be 13 years old then who am I to say they can't be. If they want to ruin their lives with boys who am I to show them an episode of Teen Mom.

The Exorcist

This story is a short one but one that ruined my damn day when it happened. There's a guest who stays here often and she is one of my many guests who stays all the time but complains about something every single time. Her husband is a douche, she is a terror and their daughter is a snobby bitch. Their daughter came up with them and she has a little girl. When they came down for breakfast, she let her little girl run around and eat everything. She favored the Froot Loops and had bowl after bowl. After her 4 bowls of cereal she ran around the lobby on a sugar high like no other. After they checked out and she had somewhat controlled little Linda Blair, they were walking out of the door when the little girl threw up Froot Loops right at the entrance. Her mother came back in to let me know.

Snob: My daughter threw up.
Working Girl: Do you want me to get you a towel so that you can clean it up?
Snob: There's just a little bit of it. I'm sure you can handle it.

THEN SHE WALKED AWAY! It took every bone in my body to not lose my job by chasing her down to smack her face off of her face. Because I'm not Tani Gold and I don't bark orders at the housekeeping staff, I told them what happened and I told them to give me a towel. I refuse to let housekeeping do it because aside from cleaning breakfast, common areas and all of the guest rooms, I didn't want them to clean that up. I cleaned it, not for that snob, but for my housekeeping staff.

So many things about this pissed me off:

The fact that she thought I would just offer to clean it up.
The fact that she didn't clean up after her own child.
The fact that she let her 75 pound child eat 4 bowls of Froot Loops.
The fact that she is not only an awful person but a terrible parent.

The only thing that made me feel better was when I asked my friend, who has two young kids, what he would've done in that situation. He told me he would've cleaned it up because it is his kid. That gave me some clarity that it's not universal to be a snob, it was just the cast of The Exorcist that thought that shit was okay.

The power of Christ compelled me not to beat her ass.