As I mentioned before, no one really quit the hotel, so the first two years that I worked there wasn't a change in staff. I got to know more about my coworkers than I really wanted to know.
Krizzle
I remember Krizzle from my second day of training, she bought me lunch. She was a nice, small girl and she gave me a better impression of herself than Tani. Slowly but surely I began to dislike Krizzle because of the 'Blame the New Girl' game they all played. I thought that Krizzle had a large part in the game, not because of the things she did but because of the way she said things. We all communicated through a log book. A log book is basically for any important notes that may need to be passed on to the other employees during your shift. It can easily be misinterpreted the way a text message is. Things are just read incorrectly and then people get upset and angry based on their interpretations. That happened to me with Krizzle, she wrote a note to me that I took the wrong way completely and I just didn't like her from that point on. I liked her more than I liked Tani (though that's not saying much) but I didn't trust her. When she and I both got promoted we actually discussed it and not only realized that it was a misunderstanding but that we really do like each other. We have the same sense of humor, same drive and similar interests. I truly consider her a friend of mine now but it sucks that all that time was wasted due to a misunderstanding.
TT Y'all
TT Y'all was the other night auditor. She was different from most Graveyard Shift-ers I've met because she wasn't a weirdo. She is bubbly, funny and really nice. She has the personality to work normal hours so it always surprised me that she worked so late. I actually used to stay hours after my shift ended just talking to her because we only got to see each other once a week. I've never had a bad experience with TT Y'all, she's always been very sweet to me. I've been made aware of some of the 'Blame the New Girl' stuff from the past that she had a hand in but I'm not bothered by it. It's really difficult not to love her and even though there's a 20 year age difference between us it has never hindered our friendship.
Taylor
Taylor started working at the hotel after Tani got fired (another story that I can't wait to share). He was the first male desk clerk in the history of the hotel. He is very personable, guests loved him and he is a funny guy. Guests truly considered him a friend as opposed to someone providing them a service. Taylor always had streaks of being hard-headed where he voiced his own opinion more so than need be. He was great with guests but often clashed with front desk. I personally liked Taylor and never dealt with the outcome of his mistakes until I became manager. I like to say that working at the hotel is 51% Customer Service and 49% Other. The 'Other' being the technical stuff in regards to check in, check out and what have you. Taylor looked at the hotel as 85% Customer Service and 15% Other. Though Customer Service is important everything else is just as important as well which wasn't stressed to him enough. His time finally ended at the hotel and he is happy in his life at his new job with his girlfriend. Taylor was a great guy but just couldn't quite complete the hotel's puzzle.
At this point I should probably talk about Tani Gold but Tani was so special that she gets her own posts and she will be getting some good ones coming up in the very near future. For now I'm going to talk about my favorite group Co-Workers.
Housekeeping Staff
I love the housekeeping staff. They do the dirty work and don't complain about it. The more I've gotten to know housekeeping, the more I've loved them. There have been too many housekeepers to name but they all have been great people (with the exception of Gold Tooth, she was a hateful woman). They always make work fun and they are all friends outside of work. They don't treat each other any differently which says a lot about the head of housekeeping, Little Jalapeno, who sees eye to eye with her employees. They treat each other like family...well maybe because most of them are all family...but anyway, they are good people with good hearts and will forever be my favorite group of people to work with.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Co-Workers: Office Supply Store
You can love 'em or hate 'em. I've had many co-workers that I've grown great bonds with and others were just a quick association. I've also worked with a lot of people that I already knew prior to working with them through school and what not, this isn't about them; I already judged them long before I started working with them.
Adam P.
Adam worked at the copy center of the office supply store with me. He was a nice guy but he didn't care about the job. It's not that he didn't like it, he just didn't care to be there. He refused to work weekends, he refused to work holidays (he was the guy who was to relieve me on Black Friday but instead went to Tahoe) and refused to work nights and late afternoon. I was pretty surprised that he still worked there but the copy center only had 2 employees when I was hired so every person was important to have.
Ali
Ali worked on the floor of the office supply store. He was a really nice and funny guy. He was also a horn dog. Every friend I had, he hit on. He even dated one of my friends. He was a slacker at the job, he did everything half ass. He was just the typical young and dumb guy. He eventually got fired for the same thing that all young people get fired for: stealing. I see him every once in a while, we smile and make small talk but I can't consider him one of my friends from work.
Stevie B
Stevie B was Yellie's girlfriend. She is that ball of personality. As I mentioned, I love her. She's one of the best people I have ever met and I am so happy to call her one of my closest friends. I never got to experience her as a coworker as much as I wanted to. We rarely worked together and when we did it was always pretty busy. Working on the floor of the office supply store and working at the copy center was completely different. Each section didn't know anything about the other which meant that neither lane would cross. I observed Stevie while she worked (not in a creepy way but in the 'I'm bored, let's look busy' way) and she was just as good at her job as she was everything else. She was a friendly customer service employee. She worked seasonally during the summer and would come back every year. Her work ethic wasn't any different from any good employee so she wasn't any different to me from the co-worker standpoint but she is an amazing friend of mine.
Larry
I already gave a brief description of Larry in the "Alaina and Larry" post but it just wasn't enough. Larry is a self-described geek. He likes geeky things. Everything he likes is geeky. His ex girlfriends were all geeky (or really really stupid). He's just a big ass nerd, but he is a sweetheart. I remember my first time talking to him. I don't remember what the conversation was about, I just remember him coming to the copy center, asking me a random question, mentioning he had a girlfriend and then leaving. The reason I remember this is because of what I whispered to myself when he left.
Working Girl: Well that was weird as shit.
All in all he is a great, geeky guy. He was the guy that you develop a crush on but you tell ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. I didn't have a crush on Larry, I knew that me being of age would never fly with him, but he always puts a smile on my face.
Oprah
Oprah was an ex-manager. She worked alone in the back and once you got to know her, you learned to love her. I had a few ups and downs with Oprah. When she remembered that she was no longer a manager, she was cool to be around and talk to. When she reverted back to being in manager mode, she was like a parent but not your parent. Oprah's lectures were similar to those of your friends mom. She made you feel the same way you felt when your friends mom would discipline you: awkward, angry and just generally annoyed. There were times when she questioned my work ethic, which pissed me off but then there were times when she shared my same opinions which I loved. All around she is a very nice older woman who you have to really learn to love. The constant memory I have of Oprah was what she said to me when I was given my walkie-talkie for the first time.
Oprah: Ooooh! That's your voice? It sounds sexy girl! You should be one of those phone sex operators. Quit this job immediately.
Corey
Corey worked the floor and she was just as good at her job as Stevie. There was nothing spectacular about her as a co-worker but there were some pretty spectacular things about her as a friend. She is really sweet but so was everyone at the store for the most part what set Corey aside was that anything would make her laugh. I enjoy making people laugh but I really enjoyed making Corey laugh. She had that real laugh with a giggle, snort and tears. I used to just look at her to make her laugh. My favorite thing to do was judge the customer that was in front of her through the walkie talkie. She tried so hard to not laugh in their face but I always had a killer line for her in which she just could not hold it in anymore.
Leasha
Leasha and I worked together at the store I transferred to. She worked at the copy center and therefore she and I always understood each other's gripes. She made me laugh always but based on her descriptions of the other employees in the store. There was a young guy who worked there and he drove a little Lexus that he tricked out and had the Lexus symbol painted all over the car in different colors. It was ghetto and Leasha made it a point to tell me how ghetto it was on a daily basis. Because of his car she would jump to conclusions about his life and though none of it was true it was still hilarious. I love to make people laugh so when something or someone actually makes me laugh they will forever be memorable to me.
I realized, as I was writing this, that I really did enjoy 98% of the people that I worked with at the office supply store. They were all good people, they just enjoyed having gross sex with one another and sometimes being really dramatic. I formed a lot of friendships and bonds with those people and the people I listed here were all memorable in some way. There were definitely more people who worked there but they just weren't interesting enough to talk about. The interesting Co-Workers and the hatred came from the hotel.
Adam P.
Adam worked at the copy center of the office supply store with me. He was a nice guy but he didn't care about the job. It's not that he didn't like it, he just didn't care to be there. He refused to work weekends, he refused to work holidays (he was the guy who was to relieve me on Black Friday but instead went to Tahoe) and refused to work nights and late afternoon. I was pretty surprised that he still worked there but the copy center only had 2 employees when I was hired so every person was important to have.
Ali
Ali worked on the floor of the office supply store. He was a really nice and funny guy. He was also a horn dog. Every friend I had, he hit on. He even dated one of my friends. He was a slacker at the job, he did everything half ass. He was just the typical young and dumb guy. He eventually got fired for the same thing that all young people get fired for: stealing. I see him every once in a while, we smile and make small talk but I can't consider him one of my friends from work.
Stevie B
Stevie B was Yellie's girlfriend. She is that ball of personality. As I mentioned, I love her. She's one of the best people I have ever met and I am so happy to call her one of my closest friends. I never got to experience her as a coworker as much as I wanted to. We rarely worked together and when we did it was always pretty busy. Working on the floor of the office supply store and working at the copy center was completely different. Each section didn't know anything about the other which meant that neither lane would cross. I observed Stevie while she worked (not in a creepy way but in the 'I'm bored, let's look busy' way) and she was just as good at her job as she was everything else. She was a friendly customer service employee. She worked seasonally during the summer and would come back every year. Her work ethic wasn't any different from any good employee so she wasn't any different to me from the co-worker standpoint but she is an amazing friend of mine.
Larry
I already gave a brief description of Larry in the "Alaina and Larry" post but it just wasn't enough. Larry is a self-described geek. He likes geeky things. Everything he likes is geeky. His ex girlfriends were all geeky (or really really stupid). He's just a big ass nerd, but he is a sweetheart. I remember my first time talking to him. I don't remember what the conversation was about, I just remember him coming to the copy center, asking me a random question, mentioning he had a girlfriend and then leaving. The reason I remember this is because of what I whispered to myself when he left.
Working Girl: Well that was weird as shit.
All in all he is a great, geeky guy. He was the guy that you develop a crush on but you tell ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. I didn't have a crush on Larry, I knew that me being of age would never fly with him, but he always puts a smile on my face.
Oprah
Oprah was an ex-manager. She worked alone in the back and once you got to know her, you learned to love her. I had a few ups and downs with Oprah. When she remembered that she was no longer a manager, she was cool to be around and talk to. When she reverted back to being in manager mode, she was like a parent but not your parent. Oprah's lectures were similar to those of your friends mom. She made you feel the same way you felt when your friends mom would discipline you: awkward, angry and just generally annoyed. There were times when she questioned my work ethic, which pissed me off but then there were times when she shared my same opinions which I loved. All around she is a very nice older woman who you have to really learn to love. The constant memory I have of Oprah was what she said to me when I was given my walkie-talkie for the first time.
Oprah: Ooooh! That's your voice? It sounds sexy girl! You should be one of those phone sex operators. Quit this job immediately.
Corey
Corey worked the floor and she was just as good at her job as Stevie. There was nothing spectacular about her as a co-worker but there were some pretty spectacular things about her as a friend. She is really sweet but so was everyone at the store for the most part what set Corey aside was that anything would make her laugh. I enjoy making people laugh but I really enjoyed making Corey laugh. She had that real laugh with a giggle, snort and tears. I used to just look at her to make her laugh. My favorite thing to do was judge the customer that was in front of her through the walkie talkie. She tried so hard to not laugh in their face but I always had a killer line for her in which she just could not hold it in anymore.
Leasha
Leasha and I worked together at the store I transferred to. She worked at the copy center and therefore she and I always understood each other's gripes. She made me laugh always but based on her descriptions of the other employees in the store. There was a young guy who worked there and he drove a little Lexus that he tricked out and had the Lexus symbol painted all over the car in different colors. It was ghetto and Leasha made it a point to tell me how ghetto it was on a daily basis. Because of his car she would jump to conclusions about his life and though none of it was true it was still hilarious. I love to make people laugh so when something or someone actually makes me laugh they will forever be memorable to me.
I realized, as I was writing this, that I really did enjoy 98% of the people that I worked with at the office supply store. They were all good people, they just enjoyed having gross sex with one another and sometimes being really dramatic. I formed a lot of friendships and bonds with those people and the people I listed here were all memorable in some way. There were definitely more people who worked there but they just weren't interesting enough to talk about. The interesting Co-Workers and the hatred came from the hotel.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
If you haven't checked out my new favorite viral video which features my new favorite phrase you should wander over to YouTube and search for 'Sweet Brown' (just wait until you've read all of my posts first). Anyway Sweet Brown's catchphrase, "Ain't Nobody Got Time For That," has become the best fitting phrase for some of my work experiences. These stories aren't necessarily as funny or feature enough banging to get their own post but I really wish I could've been able to tell these customers that the amount of time it takes for someone to complete their request is an amount that no one has time for...or in other words: AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
Foreign Fax
There is nothing more difficult in customer service than when the customer has a language barrier. You want them to understand you but they just can't. It isn't their fault necessarily but they should definitely realize that if they can't understand you then you can't understand them.
I had a woman who came into the office supply store just minutes before closing. She wanted me to send a fax which normally is no big deal. The problem was that she wanted the fax to be sent to the Philippines. So she gives me, what seems like, a 25 digit fax number only for it not to go through 5 times.
Working Girl: Ma'am I'm sorry, it's not going through. It says that the problem is on their side. Maybe their fax machine isn't on.
Woman: No. Your fax machine is on.
Working Girl: Yes, ours is on but theirs isn't.
Woman: Put a "0" in front of number.
Working Girl: There are already 5 zeroes in front of it, I don't know if a sixth one will help.
Woman: What about a "1?"
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
Human GPS
People get lost all the time but I believe it takes a special kind of stupid to travel without printing out directions. This happens constantly at the hotel. My first year working there half of the phone calls were guests completely lost on the way to the hotel.
I had one woman who was coming from Los Angeles and she was near the Fresno area. Fresno is about three hours away from the hotel but she wanted me to stay on the phone with her until she got to the Bay Area.
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
There was a mother and daughter pair coming to the hotel and the mom arrived to the hotel 2 hours before the daughter. The daughter apparently was closer in proximity but she got to the Bay Area and continued going around in circles. She had been in Oakland for about an hour and half and had no idea how to get out. She kept going on and getting off the freeway without ever looking around to see exactly where she was. Her mother came downstairs and handed me her cell phone to guide her to the hotel.
Side Note: She was in downtown Oakland when her mother handed me the cell phone. She was a total of five minutes away from the hotel.
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
Again, this was another case of someone doing zero research before visiting the Bay Area. Oakland California is dangerous; it can be a beautiful city but it is overrun with crime. If you don't know where you are in Oakland, it is best to get out as soon as possible. I had a guest who called me and said that he was outside of the hotel.
Working Girl: Well come on in. I have a room for ya!
Knockin' On Death's Door: The thing is, this doesn't look like a hotel.
Working Girl: That's a first. What do you mean by that?
KODD: Well, it looks like an abandoned building.
Working Girl: Even with all the cars in the parking lot?
KODD: Well there are no cars, and there is no parking lot. I know I have the right address. I guess I should just come in.
Working Girl: Sir, where are you?
KODD: [Hotel's address] in Oakland
Working Girl: THAT is an abandoned building. Stay in your car and get out of Oakland immediately.
KODD: This has to be it.
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!! and HAUL ASS!!
Register is Closed
I'm not sure if I've said this before but a lot of my customers at the office supply store would come in right before the store would close. Floor customers shopped after work but copy center customers made copies at 8:58pm. The thing with any retail store is that the registers close, some closed earlier than others. My register was the first to close at the store which means that you have to go get rung up at the open register. This one woman never understood that.
Rude Lady: Um, I'm ready to get rung up now.
Working Girl: Ma'am, my register is closed. Just as the sign says it is.
Rude Lady: Well open it.
Working Girl: It's not that easy. You have to get rung up at Customer Service.
Rude Lady: You want ME to stand in THAT LONG line!?
Working Girl: Yes, you have to stand in the line with the other one customer in the store.
Rude Lady: Just open your register.
Working Girl: There is nothing to open. I can't help you.
Rude Lady: I just don't understand why you can't open your register.
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
I don't know what people just don't understand.
"I've got Bronchitis Jesus! AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!"- Sweet Brown.
Foreign Fax
There is nothing more difficult in customer service than when the customer has a language barrier. You want them to understand you but they just can't. It isn't their fault necessarily but they should definitely realize that if they can't understand you then you can't understand them.
I had a woman who came into the office supply store just minutes before closing. She wanted me to send a fax which normally is no big deal. The problem was that she wanted the fax to be sent to the Philippines. So she gives me, what seems like, a 25 digit fax number only for it not to go through 5 times.
Working Girl: Ma'am I'm sorry, it's not going through. It says that the problem is on their side. Maybe their fax machine isn't on.
Woman: No. Your fax machine is on.
Working Girl: Yes, ours is on but theirs isn't.
Woman: Put a "0" in front of number.
Working Girl: There are already 5 zeroes in front of it, I don't know if a sixth one will help.
Woman: What about a "1?"
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
Human GPS
People get lost all the time but I believe it takes a special kind of stupid to travel without printing out directions. This happens constantly at the hotel. My first year working there half of the phone calls were guests completely lost on the way to the hotel.
I had one woman who was coming from Los Angeles and she was near the Fresno area. Fresno is about three hours away from the hotel but she wanted me to stay on the phone with her until she got to the Bay Area.
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
There was a mother and daughter pair coming to the hotel and the mom arrived to the hotel 2 hours before the daughter. The daughter apparently was closer in proximity but she got to the Bay Area and continued going around in circles. She had been in Oakland for about an hour and half and had no idea how to get out. She kept going on and getting off the freeway without ever looking around to see exactly where she was. Her mother came downstairs and handed me her cell phone to guide her to the hotel.
Side Note: She was in downtown Oakland when her mother handed me the cell phone. She was a total of five minutes away from the hotel.
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
Again, this was another case of someone doing zero research before visiting the Bay Area. Oakland California is dangerous; it can be a beautiful city but it is overrun with crime. If you don't know where you are in Oakland, it is best to get out as soon as possible. I had a guest who called me and said that he was outside of the hotel.
Working Girl: Well come on in. I have a room for ya!
Knockin' On Death's Door: The thing is, this doesn't look like a hotel.
Working Girl: That's a first. What do you mean by that?
KODD: Well, it looks like an abandoned building.
Working Girl: Even with all the cars in the parking lot?
KODD: Well there are no cars, and there is no parking lot. I know I have the right address. I guess I should just come in.
Working Girl: Sir, where are you?
KODD: [Hotel's address] in Oakland
Working Girl: THAT is an abandoned building. Stay in your car and get out of Oakland immediately.
KODD: This has to be it.
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!! and HAUL ASS!!
Register is Closed
I'm not sure if I've said this before but a lot of my customers at the office supply store would come in right before the store would close. Floor customers shopped after work but copy center customers made copies at 8:58pm. The thing with any retail store is that the registers close, some closed earlier than others. My register was the first to close at the store which means that you have to go get rung up at the open register. This one woman never understood that.
Rude Lady: Um, I'm ready to get rung up now.
Working Girl: Ma'am, my register is closed. Just as the sign says it is.
Rude Lady: Well open it.
Working Girl: It's not that easy. You have to get rung up at Customer Service.
Rude Lady: You want ME to stand in THAT LONG line!?
Working Girl: Yes, you have to stand in the line with the other one customer in the store.
Rude Lady: Just open your register.
Working Girl: There is nothing to open. I can't help you.
Rude Lady: I just don't understand why you can't open your register.
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
I don't know what people just don't understand.
"I've got Bronchitis Jesus! AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!"- Sweet Brown.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Kids
This may come as a big surprise but I absolutely hate kids. Hate them. I always have. When I was a kid I hated other kids. I just don't understand why anyone would want to ruin their lives with little rug rats that touch shit they're not supposed to, yell at you, talk back and just genuinely make you cry whenever they aren't looking. I refuse to be a parent to anyone's kid (including my own). Being at work only solidifies that idea.
Ruby
Ruby was a little spawn of Satan. Ruby was the daughter of a guest staying at the hotel. They were checking out early in the morning and Ruby came down with her parents, laid on the lobby couch to try to fall back to sleep. After her parents took a total of 30 seconds to check out, her dad tried to get her up.
Pansy Dad: Ruby, honey, it's time to go.
Ruby: I'm tired daddy.
Pansy Dad: I know baby, but we need to go back home. We have to go to the airport.
Ruby: I just want to sleep.
Pansy Dad: You can always sleep on the plane honey, but now we have to go.
Ruby: SHUT THE HELL UP DAD! I WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP!
Pansy Dad: Sshh.. Ruby. Sshh... it's okay.
Ruby was 6 years old. ARE YOU SERIOUS? My mom would've slapped me clear if I not only talked back to her but if I cursed at her when I was 6 years old. Either that girl was brave or dad had his testicles removed a long time ago. I know there are parenting differences between now and when I was growing up but the general trend should be to fear your parents. They brought you in and dammit they aren't afraid to take you out.
Dora the Explorer
Something I've never understood about parents is when they let their kids run free in a store. Have you ever seen the parent with a kid screaming bloody murder in the store and the parent is completely calm and ignoring it? It's because that parent has had it. They are done. They know there is no point in arguing with a child or trying to not cause a scene so they just let it happen.
This was a constant at the office supply store. It was very easy to walk into the copy center, there was basically no barrier to stop anyone from doing so. Kids did it all the time but most parents, the good ones, would grab them before they could get too far into the copy center. These parents knew that at the copy center we had multiple cutters, and laminating machines set to 400 degrees on a daily basis.
There was one little girl who wandered into the copy center and her dad thought it was adorable. I didn't notice that she wandered in at first but when I did I told him that she couldn't be back there.
Working Girl: Sir she can't be back here.
Careless Father: Oh it's okay, she won't break anything.
Working Girl: It's not that. I have a laminating machine that is my waist high which can burn her if she touches it. I have blades and paper cutters all around here including very expensive machines.
Careless Father: I just love how curious she is. It's so cute she explores everything always. Her favorite show is Dora the Explorer.
Working Girl: This Dora is going to melt her hand to a nub if you don't get her out of here.
Careless Father: Sorry. Hahaha
What should I have said to make him understand that his daughter may not leave the copy center with all of her limbs? Also, that's not cute. She can explore all she wants at home but this is a business. He's dealt with that so long that he now thinks it's cute, his mind is playing tricks on him. Your child putting themselves in danger is not cute and shouldn't be encouraged.
13 and Pregnant
One year, a group of young girls stayed at the hotel with their counselors and parents. Apparently this group changes the lives of girls who have had a bad history in the early goings of their life. The problems of these girls ranged from failing all of their classes to being sexually abused as children. This program was made to turn their lives around. They took a trip to San Francisco after making great strides in the program.
The second night the parents/counselors ordered pizza for the group which included 4 adults and 6 girls. They wanted to eat it in the dining room of the hotel. They ate their pizza and the adults started drinking wine. While the women were giggling and getting drunk, the girls were hanging out in the lobby getting pretty bored. A few of the girls went outside to talk but then a group of boys walked by. That's when it turned into a damn Disney channel series; boys were flirting with girls, girls were flirting back and the adults were negligent.
The women noticed that the girls were flirting which they brushed off. Then the girls invited the boys into the lobby, which they also brushed off. Then they invited the boys upstairs. That's when the adults said no but still continued to drink. My coworker thought I should have said something to them but I was 20 at the time and honestly didn't care, they didn't bother me and complimented my shoes. That is not my responsibility. If the girls want to be 13 years old then who am I to say they can't be. If they want to ruin their lives with boys who am I to show them an episode of Teen Mom.
The Exorcist
This story is a short one but one that ruined my damn day when it happened. There's a guest who stays here often and she is one of my many guests who stays all the time but complains about something every single time. Her husband is a douche, she is a terror and their daughter is a snobby bitch. Their daughter came up with them and she has a little girl. When they came down for breakfast, she let her little girl run around and eat everything. She favored the Froot Loops and had bowl after bowl. After her 4 bowls of cereal she ran around the lobby on a sugar high like no other. After they checked out and she had somewhat controlled little Linda Blair, they were walking out of the door when the little girl threw up Froot Loops right at the entrance. Her mother came back in to let me know.
Snob: My daughter threw up.
Working Girl: Do you want me to get you a towel so that you can clean it up?
Snob: There's just a little bit of it. I'm sure you can handle it.
THEN SHE WALKED AWAY! It took every bone in my body to not lose my job by chasing her down to smack her face off of her face. Because I'm not Tani Gold and I don't bark orders at the housekeeping staff, I told them what happened and I told them to give me a towel. I refuse to let housekeeping do it because aside from cleaning breakfast, common areas and all of the guest rooms, I didn't want them to clean that up. I cleaned it, not for that snob, but for my housekeeping staff.
So many things about this pissed me off:
The fact that she thought I would just offer to clean it up.
The fact that she didn't clean up after her own child.
The fact that she let her 75 pound child eat 4 bowls of Froot Loops.
The fact that she is not only an awful person but a terrible parent.
The only thing that made me feel better was when I asked my friend, who has two young kids, what he would've done in that situation. He told me he would've cleaned it up because it is his kid. That gave me some clarity that it's not universal to be a snob, it was just the cast of The Exorcist that thought that shit was okay.
The power of Christ compelled me not to beat her ass.
Ruby
Ruby was a little spawn of Satan. Ruby was the daughter of a guest staying at the hotel. They were checking out early in the morning and Ruby came down with her parents, laid on the lobby couch to try to fall back to sleep. After her parents took a total of 30 seconds to check out, her dad tried to get her up.
Pansy Dad: Ruby, honey, it's time to go.
Ruby: I'm tired daddy.
Pansy Dad: I know baby, but we need to go back home. We have to go to the airport.
Ruby: I just want to sleep.
Pansy Dad: You can always sleep on the plane honey, but now we have to go.
Ruby: SHUT THE HELL UP DAD! I WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP!
Pansy Dad: Sshh.. Ruby. Sshh... it's okay.
Ruby was 6 years old. ARE YOU SERIOUS? My mom would've slapped me clear if I not only talked back to her but if I cursed at her when I was 6 years old. Either that girl was brave or dad had his testicles removed a long time ago. I know there are parenting differences between now and when I was growing up but the general trend should be to fear your parents. They brought you in and dammit they aren't afraid to take you out.
Dora the Explorer
Something I've never understood about parents is when they let their kids run free in a store. Have you ever seen the parent with a kid screaming bloody murder in the store and the parent is completely calm and ignoring it? It's because that parent has had it. They are done. They know there is no point in arguing with a child or trying to not cause a scene so they just let it happen.
This was a constant at the office supply store. It was very easy to walk into the copy center, there was basically no barrier to stop anyone from doing so. Kids did it all the time but most parents, the good ones, would grab them before they could get too far into the copy center. These parents knew that at the copy center we had multiple cutters, and laminating machines set to 400 degrees on a daily basis.
There was one little girl who wandered into the copy center and her dad thought it was adorable. I didn't notice that she wandered in at first but when I did I told him that she couldn't be back there.
Working Girl: Sir she can't be back here.
Careless Father: Oh it's okay, she won't break anything.
Working Girl: It's not that. I have a laminating machine that is my waist high which can burn her if she touches it. I have blades and paper cutters all around here including very expensive machines.
Careless Father: I just love how curious she is. It's so cute she explores everything always. Her favorite show is Dora the Explorer.
Working Girl: This Dora is going to melt her hand to a nub if you don't get her out of here.
Careless Father: Sorry. Hahaha
What should I have said to make him understand that his daughter may not leave the copy center with all of her limbs? Also, that's not cute. She can explore all she wants at home but this is a business. He's dealt with that so long that he now thinks it's cute, his mind is playing tricks on him. Your child putting themselves in danger is not cute and shouldn't be encouraged.
13 and Pregnant
One year, a group of young girls stayed at the hotel with their counselors and parents. Apparently this group changes the lives of girls who have had a bad history in the early goings of their life. The problems of these girls ranged from failing all of their classes to being sexually abused as children. This program was made to turn their lives around. They took a trip to San Francisco after making great strides in the program.
The second night the parents/counselors ordered pizza for the group which included 4 adults and 6 girls. They wanted to eat it in the dining room of the hotel. They ate their pizza and the adults started drinking wine. While the women were giggling and getting drunk, the girls were hanging out in the lobby getting pretty bored. A few of the girls went outside to talk but then a group of boys walked by. That's when it turned into a damn Disney channel series; boys were flirting with girls, girls were flirting back and the adults were negligent.
The women noticed that the girls were flirting which they brushed off. Then the girls invited the boys into the lobby, which they also brushed off. Then they invited the boys upstairs. That's when the adults said no but still continued to drink. My coworker thought I should have said something to them but I was 20 at the time and honestly didn't care, they didn't bother me and complimented my shoes. That is not my responsibility. If the girls want to be 13 years old then who am I to say they can't be. If they want to ruin their lives with boys who am I to show them an episode of Teen Mom.
The Exorcist
This story is a short one but one that ruined my damn day when it happened. There's a guest who stays here often and she is one of my many guests who stays all the time but complains about something every single time. Her husband is a douche, she is a terror and their daughter is a snobby bitch. Their daughter came up with them and she has a little girl. When they came down for breakfast, she let her little girl run around and eat everything. She favored the Froot Loops and had bowl after bowl. After her 4 bowls of cereal she ran around the lobby on a sugar high like no other. After they checked out and she had somewhat controlled little Linda Blair, they were walking out of the door when the little girl threw up Froot Loops right at the entrance. Her mother came back in to let me know.
Snob: My daughter threw up.
Working Girl: Do you want me to get you a towel so that you can clean it up?
Snob: There's just a little bit of it. I'm sure you can handle it.
THEN SHE WALKED AWAY! It took every bone in my body to not lose my job by chasing her down to smack her face off of her face. Because I'm not Tani Gold and I don't bark orders at the housekeeping staff, I told them what happened and I told them to give me a towel. I refuse to let housekeeping do it because aside from cleaning breakfast, common areas and all of the guest rooms, I didn't want them to clean that up. I cleaned it, not for that snob, but for my housekeeping staff.
So many things about this pissed me off:
The fact that she thought I would just offer to clean it up.
The fact that she didn't clean up after her own child.
The fact that she let her 75 pound child eat 4 bowls of Froot Loops.
The fact that she is not only an awful person but a terrible parent.
The only thing that made me feel better was when I asked my friend, who has two young kids, what he would've done in that situation. He told me he would've cleaned it up because it is his kid. That gave me some clarity that it's not universal to be a snob, it was just the cast of The Exorcist that thought that shit was okay.
The power of Christ compelled me not to beat her ass.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Graveyard Shift-ers
Graveyard Shift. Very common, pretty much every business has a graveyard shift crew. They may be called something different from business to business but they all share one trait: They are some of the weirdest people you'll ever meet. You've gotta think, whoever chooses to work in the middle of the night must have at least a few screws loose. That is an understatement.
Rabine
Rabine worked 'logistics' at the office supply store. Logistics is the crew that comes in very early in the morning, around 3am, to stock the shelves. Logistics was a crew I never understood but it was completely fitting for Rabine because she was weird. She was afraid of her own shadow. She was very closed off. All the kids who worked logistics were weird but she was that kind of movie character weird. She reminded me of the very quiet Asian girl from the movie Pitch Perfect. When she did actually speak, we were all leaning in to hear her but the leaning in freaked her out even more. The only interaction I ever had with her was one that persuaded me never to speak to her again. We were passing each other in the store and I said hello to her.
Rabine: OH! OH! OH! MY GOD!! YOU SCARED ME! I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE GOING TO TALK TO ME!
After I awkwardly laughed and ran away from the situation, it dawned upon me what she said in her breathy, terrified response. She didn't think I was going to talk to her? She thought that I was going to ignore her as we walked past one another. That must have happened to her alot. People must normally ignore her because she is weird as shit. I am now one of those people.
Colbin
Colbin also worked logistics. The difference between Colbin and the other people who worked logistics was that he was so damn sexy. Colbin had beautiful hair, a beautiful smile, a beautiful body and just looked like your all around stud. Colbin was painfully shy. Colbin didn't speak, he didn't converse with anyone. The only interaction I had with Colbin initially was when I came in to work the opening shift and he was still there stocking shelves with his bronzed muscles. I got to know Colbin later on and he thought I was a riot. He ended up being a good guy but still very shy. Almost so shy that you feel bad. I wanted him to break out of his shell and when he got some liquid courage in him to do so; I wanted him back in the shell.
Yellie
Yellie was the other guy on the logistics crew. It was a small group with very little personality. Yellie was always very closed off, he only ever seemed comfortable around his girlfriend. After getting over the shock that he had a girlfriend, I was surprised to find out who she was. She was a ball of personality; her personality is enough for both of them. I love her. She is currently one of my closest friends. Because of her I associate with Yellie but with Yellie being so quiet it is difficult to associate yourself with him. My very few instances where I've had one on one conversations with him, he was a different guy. I sometimes feel like his personality shows more when he isn't around his girlfriend. Yellie is a smart, interesting and funny guy if you have the time to chip away at the layers.
Jennifer-Lynne
Jennifer-Lynne works the night audit shift at the hotel. She is the most mysterious person I have ever met. Outside of her always being on vacation, when anyone does see her they make the joke of "You still work here?" She is never around. At least you would see the logistics crew. You never see Jennifer-Lynne. She works two days a week, she never has any notes or emergencies, and the rest of the time she is in an alternate universe. I honestly believe that she comes in to relieve the PM shift person, waits an hour, turns off all the lights, locks up the hotel and goes home. If it wasn't for the fact that there is a paper trail, my idea would be completely plausible. Even guests don't know who she is. The only way I was ever able to crack her and make her talk to me without shaking her was when I mentioned basketball. She is a huge Miami Heat fan and an even bigger Lebron James fan. With my ridiculous amount of basketball knowledge, I was able to entice her. I still think she is the weirdest girl in the world but at least I know it is possible to put a smile on her face.
Rabine
Rabine worked 'logistics' at the office supply store. Logistics is the crew that comes in very early in the morning, around 3am, to stock the shelves. Logistics was a crew I never understood but it was completely fitting for Rabine because she was weird. She was afraid of her own shadow. She was very closed off. All the kids who worked logistics were weird but she was that kind of movie character weird. She reminded me of the very quiet Asian girl from the movie Pitch Perfect. When she did actually speak, we were all leaning in to hear her but the leaning in freaked her out even more. The only interaction I ever had with her was one that persuaded me never to speak to her again. We were passing each other in the store and I said hello to her.
Rabine: OH! OH! OH! MY GOD!! YOU SCARED ME! I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE GOING TO TALK TO ME!
After I awkwardly laughed and ran away from the situation, it dawned upon me what she said in her breathy, terrified response. She didn't think I was going to talk to her? She thought that I was going to ignore her as we walked past one another. That must have happened to her alot. People must normally ignore her because she is weird as shit. I am now one of those people.
Colbin
Colbin also worked logistics. The difference between Colbin and the other people who worked logistics was that he was so damn sexy. Colbin had beautiful hair, a beautiful smile, a beautiful body and just looked like your all around stud. Colbin was painfully shy. Colbin didn't speak, he didn't converse with anyone. The only interaction I had with Colbin initially was when I came in to work the opening shift and he was still there stocking shelves with his bronzed muscles. I got to know Colbin later on and he thought I was a riot. He ended up being a good guy but still very shy. Almost so shy that you feel bad. I wanted him to break out of his shell and when he got some liquid courage in him to do so; I wanted him back in the shell.
Yellie
Yellie was the other guy on the logistics crew. It was a small group with very little personality. Yellie was always very closed off, he only ever seemed comfortable around his girlfriend. After getting over the shock that he had a girlfriend, I was surprised to find out who she was. She was a ball of personality; her personality is enough for both of them. I love her. She is currently one of my closest friends. Because of her I associate with Yellie but with Yellie being so quiet it is difficult to associate yourself with him. My very few instances where I've had one on one conversations with him, he was a different guy. I sometimes feel like his personality shows more when he isn't around his girlfriend. Yellie is a smart, interesting and funny guy if you have the time to chip away at the layers.
Jennifer-Lynne
Jennifer-Lynne works the night audit shift at the hotel. She is the most mysterious person I have ever met. Outside of her always being on vacation, when anyone does see her they make the joke of "You still work here?" She is never around. At least you would see the logistics crew. You never see Jennifer-Lynne. She works two days a week, she never has any notes or emergencies, and the rest of the time she is in an alternate universe. I honestly believe that she comes in to relieve the PM shift person, waits an hour, turns off all the lights, locks up the hotel and goes home. If it wasn't for the fact that there is a paper trail, my idea would be completely plausible. Even guests don't know who she is. The only way I was ever able to crack her and make her talk to me without shaking her was when I mentioned basketball. She is a huge Miami Heat fan and an even bigger Lebron James fan. With my ridiculous amount of basketball knowledge, I was able to entice her. I still think she is the weirdest girl in the world but at least I know it is possible to put a smile on her face.
Monday, January 21, 2013
New Hires
There is pretty much no one more insignificant than new hires. Outside of them just generally getting in the way, you have the power to influence them. You are God because you've worked at your job a minute longer than they have. Do you know the power that God has? God can make or break you. At the office supply store I broke new hires, when I started working at the hotel, they tried to break me. Big Mistake.
Alaina
You already know that Alaina was a cheatin' bitch and sometimes lesbian but she was also a new hire. She was in high school and had all the same intelligence of any high school student. It was rather limited. What she lacked in book smarts, she made up for in vagina smarts. She used that thing like it was a light switch; she could turn it on and off when she wanted to. Alaina wasn't too much of a suck up (though we can all conclude that she was suckin' something) she just knew how to get what she wanted. I can't lie, it was fascinating to watch. It went from getting rides home from coworkers to selling meaningless insurance to customers. She rocked giant boobs and a flirtatious smile that none of the other girls could. She didn't have the cards dealt her way being a new hire and in high school but somehow she always ended up with a full house.
New Shit
Working Girl: I need a furniture pull on item #67591, a computer chair.
Manager: Lane can help you with that, Working Girl
Working Girl: Who the hell is Lane?
Lane: Hi, I'm Lane.
Working Girl: No one cares
That was my initial meeting with Lane. The first thing I told him was that "no one cares" in regards to him being a human being. What. A. Bitch (me, not him). After working with Lane for a few weeks, his name graduated from "No one cares" to "New Shit." I only referred to him as New Shit. It sounds awful but he laughed it off. He actually became one of my favorite people working at the store. We became good friends and had weekly lunches together. I love Lane. He was absolutely hilarious but it was obvious that though he tried to make the best of a situation, he was unhappy. After nearly a year, Lane moved out of state and basically dropped off the face of the earth. It's too bad. He was one of the only new hires that didn't bang anyone or wasn't an idiot. I hope all is well with him.
The Creature from the Blackest Lagoon
No, not Tani Gold. Black Shrek. Black Shrek was not only a new hire but about three months into him working at the office supply store, he became my boyfriend of eight months. Black Shrek was an awful person on both a personal level and a work level. Aside from my hatred of him and his consistent stalking of me, my opinion of him for this piece will be based on him as a coworker. Originally Black Shrek was really an ass kiss. He was hired by Mr. Budweiser and was constantly doing anything he told him to do. At the first store meeting with the new hires present, he was raising his hand to both answer and ask questions. He was just that annoying kid who would remind the teacher to assign homework for the weekend when it is Friday at 2:55pm. You wanted to punch him in the face. Later on, his excitement changed. He started to talk back, get malicious and try to embarrass his coworkers. He thought he was funny but he was really just an awful human being. I understand that when you are hired at a job you have to show that you want it and that the right person was picked, but don't turn into the opposite of that. The worst part is, he was too old to be doing any of the shit he did. He began to be combative, rude, late and just everything you wouldn't want in an employee (or a boyfriend). He eventually got fired for one of those things and just a few short weeks later he got dumped by yours truly.
Side Note: You may be wondering why I chose to date such an animal; well here is your answer:
I was fat. I was really fat, and very insecure. I was 19 at the time and due to my insecurities and waistline, I never had a boyfriend before. He asked me out. He was not my type even slightly. I respected the fact that he had the balls to ask out someone who not only was mean to him but mean to everyone. I continued to date him for eight months for another reason:
I was stupid. I had this idea in my head that 1.) I was going to change him and 2.) After not dating anyone ever, I didn't want my first ever relationship to fail in such a short amount of time. In high school I literally despised my friends for dating someone for 2-3 weeks and breaking up. I wanted a healthy, adult relationship. I was just missing the healthy adult on the other end.
Working Girl: Hotel New Hire
Working in a hotel is a dream job for a college student. There is a lot of downtime, that way homework and things like that can get done while you're getting paid. No one really quit working at the hotel so when I came in, everyone who had worked there had been there for at least two years. The girl I was replacing had been there for a long time and she grew a bond with many of the other front desk agents (except Tani, nobody likes that bitch). I knew that it would be hard to crack the shell but I had gotten the job from one of my best friends and for the most part I am a pretty good person. I was not prepared for what was to come next.
The other girls liked to play a game called "Blame the New Girl," though none of them would ever admit to it now (because I'm either their friend or their boss) they all, for the most part, participated. I was getting blamed for things that were either minor but were escalated by them to the owner or for things that in no way shape or form could be traced back to me but yet the blame was still being put on me. I didn't expect that. I was once asked about something that happened during a time that I wasn't even working. Little shit like that. I never got in trouble because it was never a big enough deal, but the fact that I was even being blamed was shocking to me. I was mean to the new hires at the office supply store but these girls at the hotel were ruthless. I couldn't win. I guess in that sense Karma is a bitch and she works at the hotel. Things got better because I stopped just nodding my head; I had to say "this is not my fault" in order for them to actually understand that fact. Though I'm over it now and we are all pretty tight currently, I can't help but think about how that game kept me from getting to know my coworkers better and putting a strain on my relationship with one of my best friends. I felt like no one was looking out for me, therefore I did.
Being a new hire sucks, no matter what the job. Adapting to anything new will always take time but it depends on how you deal with it. You could either:
Stand up for yourself
Make the best of a situation
Be a miserable creature
Or use your vagina to get you places (I guess that leaves out the dudes on this one)
Alaina
You already know that Alaina was a cheatin' bitch and sometimes lesbian but she was also a new hire. She was in high school and had all the same intelligence of any high school student. It was rather limited. What she lacked in book smarts, she made up for in vagina smarts. She used that thing like it was a light switch; she could turn it on and off when she wanted to. Alaina wasn't too much of a suck up (though we can all conclude that she was suckin' something) she just knew how to get what she wanted. I can't lie, it was fascinating to watch. It went from getting rides home from coworkers to selling meaningless insurance to customers. She rocked giant boobs and a flirtatious smile that none of the other girls could. She didn't have the cards dealt her way being a new hire and in high school but somehow she always ended up with a full house.
New Shit
Working Girl: I need a furniture pull on item #67591, a computer chair.
Manager: Lane can help you with that, Working Girl
Working Girl: Who the hell is Lane?
Lane: Hi, I'm Lane.
Working Girl: No one cares
That was my initial meeting with Lane. The first thing I told him was that "no one cares" in regards to him being a human being. What. A. Bitch (me, not him). After working with Lane for a few weeks, his name graduated from "No one cares" to "New Shit." I only referred to him as New Shit. It sounds awful but he laughed it off. He actually became one of my favorite people working at the store. We became good friends and had weekly lunches together. I love Lane. He was absolutely hilarious but it was obvious that though he tried to make the best of a situation, he was unhappy. After nearly a year, Lane moved out of state and basically dropped off the face of the earth. It's too bad. He was one of the only new hires that didn't bang anyone or wasn't an idiot. I hope all is well with him.
The Creature from the Blackest Lagoon
No, not Tani Gold. Black Shrek. Black Shrek was not only a new hire but about three months into him working at the office supply store, he became my boyfriend of eight months. Black Shrek was an awful person on both a personal level and a work level. Aside from my hatred of him and his consistent stalking of me, my opinion of him for this piece will be based on him as a coworker. Originally Black Shrek was really an ass kiss. He was hired by Mr. Budweiser and was constantly doing anything he told him to do. At the first store meeting with the new hires present, he was raising his hand to both answer and ask questions. He was just that annoying kid who would remind the teacher to assign homework for the weekend when it is Friday at 2:55pm. You wanted to punch him in the face. Later on, his excitement changed. He started to talk back, get malicious and try to embarrass his coworkers. He thought he was funny but he was really just an awful human being. I understand that when you are hired at a job you have to show that you want it and that the right person was picked, but don't turn into the opposite of that. The worst part is, he was too old to be doing any of the shit he did. He began to be combative, rude, late and just everything you wouldn't want in an employee (or a boyfriend). He eventually got fired for one of those things and just a few short weeks later he got dumped by yours truly.
Side Note: You may be wondering why I chose to date such an animal; well here is your answer:
I was fat. I was really fat, and very insecure. I was 19 at the time and due to my insecurities and waistline, I never had a boyfriend before. He asked me out. He was not my type even slightly. I respected the fact that he had the balls to ask out someone who not only was mean to him but mean to everyone. I continued to date him for eight months for another reason:
I was stupid. I had this idea in my head that 1.) I was going to change him and 2.) After not dating anyone ever, I didn't want my first ever relationship to fail in such a short amount of time. In high school I literally despised my friends for dating someone for 2-3 weeks and breaking up. I wanted a healthy, adult relationship. I was just missing the healthy adult on the other end.
Working Girl: Hotel New Hire
Working in a hotel is a dream job for a college student. There is a lot of downtime, that way homework and things like that can get done while you're getting paid. No one really quit working at the hotel so when I came in, everyone who had worked there had been there for at least two years. The girl I was replacing had been there for a long time and she grew a bond with many of the other front desk agents (except Tani, nobody likes that bitch). I knew that it would be hard to crack the shell but I had gotten the job from one of my best friends and for the most part I am a pretty good person. I was not prepared for what was to come next.
The other girls liked to play a game called "Blame the New Girl," though none of them would ever admit to it now (because I'm either their friend or their boss) they all, for the most part, participated. I was getting blamed for things that were either minor but were escalated by them to the owner or for things that in no way shape or form could be traced back to me but yet the blame was still being put on me. I didn't expect that. I was once asked about something that happened during a time that I wasn't even working. Little shit like that. I never got in trouble because it was never a big enough deal, but the fact that I was even being blamed was shocking to me. I was mean to the new hires at the office supply store but these girls at the hotel were ruthless. I couldn't win. I guess in that sense Karma is a bitch and she works at the hotel. Things got better because I stopped just nodding my head; I had to say "this is not my fault" in order for them to actually understand that fact. Though I'm over it now and we are all pretty tight currently, I can't help but think about how that game kept me from getting to know my coworkers better and putting a strain on my relationship with one of my best friends. I felt like no one was looking out for me, therefore I did.
Being a new hire sucks, no matter what the job. Adapting to anything new will always take time but it depends on how you deal with it. You could either:
Stand up for yourself
Make the best of a situation
Be a miserable creature
Or use your vagina to get you places (I guess that leaves out the dudes on this one)
Friday, January 18, 2013
The Customer is Always Wrong
"The customer is always right" is the dumbest phrase in customer service. The customer usually isn't right because the customer doesn't know the policies of the company and therefore they have no idea what they are talking about. "The customer is a big giant baby who doesn't know left from right" is actually a more fitting phrase.
Self-Serve
At the copy center of the office supply store there was a Self-Serve area. The definition of self serve is pretty simple: DO IT YOUR GODDAMN SELF. None of the customers quite grasped this concept.
The difference between self serve and us doing it for them was the price. Self serve is always cheaper but customers didn't understand that. Customers wanted us to make the copies for them but charge them as if they did it themselves. The policy at the store was:
"You (employees) can set up the job for the customer, i.e. put the paper on the glass, load the specified paper in the tray and close the lid. But in order for the customer to be charged the self serve price, they have to press start."
It's pretty simple and it basically states that if the customer isn't color blind, all they have to do is press the green button. The employees can breast feed the customer throughout the set up but eventually the customer will have to unlatch from the tit, and press a green button.
I had a woman come into the store who needed to make one copy. She had a pretty thick french accent but seemed as if she understood English very well.
French Fried: I need zis copy made. I zee the price iz nine centz. Here you go.
Working Girl: In order for you to pay the self- serve price, you have to make the copy yourself at the self serve area.
French Fried: Vear iz zis selfa serve arvea?
Working Girl: Right over there along the wall where the four copy machines are.
French Fried: I do not know how to verk zese machinez.
Working Girl: Oh! I can help you with that.
I take her over to "ze selfa serve arevea" and show her how to set it up. She claimed she still didn't understand. I set up the job completely. I put the paper on the glass, closed the lid and showed her the green button to press.
French Fried: OK. Zen press ze button.
Working Girl: Yep. That's all you do, just press the green button.
French Fried: OK. You go ahead.
Working Girl: Oh, in order for you to pay the cheaper price you have to press it. It's all set up for you, just press the button.
French Fried: Yez. You press.
Working Girl: *sigh* I can't. You have to. Unless you don't mind paying more.
French Fried: No. You press button and I pay you nine centz.
Working Girl: No. I press button, and you pay me more than nine cents.
French Fried: I DON'T PRESS BUTTON!
Working Girl: Then you don't pay nine cents.
That's when French Fried lifted the top of the machine, took out her original and stormed out of the store. I thought that she was ridiculous and the language barrier wasn't her only problem.
The funny part about it was that there was a black guy standing at the counter waiting for me to finish up with this woman and after she stormed out and I walked over to help him, the first thing he said to me made me laugh more than the entire situation.
Brother Man: They still think we in shackles or somethin'!
Towel Service
This was of course another lovely guest at the hotel. Similar to the office supply store, the hotel had a policy:
"Employees cannot enter the room of a guest when the guest is in the room. The only employees allowed to do so are the housekeeping staff on very few circumstances. Front Desk Agents are to be behind the front desk at all times."
This policy is flexible. We've had to go to/enter plenty of rooms when the guest is in, but for our safety, we definitely aren't supposed to. It really just takes a guest to ask nicely. We are happy to do for guests when they treat us like human beings.
I had a guy who came in and immediately went upstairs to his room. He called down to the front desk a few minutes later.
Baby Dick: I chose not to get service today but I don't have any towels. I'm about to take a shower and I need them.
Working Girl: No problem. I can get you as many towels as you need. You just have to pick them up at the front desk.
Baby Dick: No. You need to bring them to me.
Working Girl: I'm sorry sir. By policy I cannot leave the front desk and there is no one else on staff to bring you towels. The only option is for you to come down to front desk to get them.
Baby Dick: I can't come down to the front desk. I am completely naked.
Working Girl: Then I definitely cannot go up to the room.
*hangs up in my face*
No more than 20 seconds later this guy is down at the front desk. Not only is he not naked, he is wearing a shirt, shorts, and shoes. Either he is the fastest dresser in the world or he never was naked and he was just being a baby and a dick at the same time.
I hand him the towels.
Baby Dick: You know this isn't the service I am paying for.
Side Note: He was staying in a "limited service" hotel (meaning we don't have room service and housekeeping around the clock), that is the EXACT service he was paying for.
Working Girl: Okay.
Baby Dick: IT IS NOT OKAY!
He then walked off and I didn't see him again.
Could I have brought him the towels? Yes.
Would I if he had asked nicely? Yes.
Am I supposed to? No.
Front Desk Agents aren't allowed to leave the front desk. There should be someone behind the desk at all times. I shouldn't have to explain this to any guest. If someone came to check in and no one was standing there, they would be pissed and I would lose my job. This guy trying to turn me into a lesbian by showing me his unimpressive junk is not worth losing my job over.
Self-Serve
At the copy center of the office supply store there was a Self-Serve area. The definition of self serve is pretty simple: DO IT YOUR GODDAMN SELF. None of the customers quite grasped this concept.
The difference between self serve and us doing it for them was the price. Self serve is always cheaper but customers didn't understand that. Customers wanted us to make the copies for them but charge them as if they did it themselves. The policy at the store was:
"You (employees) can set up the job for the customer, i.e. put the paper on the glass, load the specified paper in the tray and close the lid. But in order for the customer to be charged the self serve price, they have to press start."
It's pretty simple and it basically states that if the customer isn't color blind, all they have to do is press the green button. The employees can breast feed the customer throughout the set up but eventually the customer will have to unlatch from the tit, and press a green button.
I had a woman come into the store who needed to make one copy. She had a pretty thick french accent but seemed as if she understood English very well.
French Fried: I need zis copy made. I zee the price iz nine centz. Here you go.
Working Girl: In order for you to pay the self- serve price, you have to make the copy yourself at the self serve area.
French Fried: Vear iz zis selfa serve arvea?
Working Girl: Right over there along the wall where the four copy machines are.
French Fried: I do not know how to verk zese machinez.
Working Girl: Oh! I can help you with that.
I take her over to "ze selfa serve arevea" and show her how to set it up. She claimed she still didn't understand. I set up the job completely. I put the paper on the glass, closed the lid and showed her the green button to press.
French Fried: OK. Zen press ze button.
Working Girl: Yep. That's all you do, just press the green button.
French Fried: OK. You go ahead.
Working Girl: Oh, in order for you to pay the cheaper price you have to press it. It's all set up for you, just press the button.
French Fried: Yez. You press.
Working Girl: *sigh* I can't. You have to. Unless you don't mind paying more.
French Fried: No. You press button and I pay you nine centz.
Working Girl: No. I press button, and you pay me more than nine cents.
French Fried: I DON'T PRESS BUTTON!
Working Girl: Then you don't pay nine cents.
That's when French Fried lifted the top of the machine, took out her original and stormed out of the store. I thought that she was ridiculous and the language barrier wasn't her only problem.
The funny part about it was that there was a black guy standing at the counter waiting for me to finish up with this woman and after she stormed out and I walked over to help him, the first thing he said to me made me laugh more than the entire situation.
Brother Man: They still think we in shackles or somethin'!
Towel Service
This was of course another lovely guest at the hotel. Similar to the office supply store, the hotel had a policy:
"Employees cannot enter the room of a guest when the guest is in the room. The only employees allowed to do so are the housekeeping staff on very few circumstances. Front Desk Agents are to be behind the front desk at all times."
This policy is flexible. We've had to go to/enter plenty of rooms when the guest is in, but for our safety, we definitely aren't supposed to. It really just takes a guest to ask nicely. We are happy to do for guests when they treat us like human beings.
I had a guy who came in and immediately went upstairs to his room. He called down to the front desk a few minutes later.
Baby Dick: I chose not to get service today but I don't have any towels. I'm about to take a shower and I need them.
Working Girl: No problem. I can get you as many towels as you need. You just have to pick them up at the front desk.
Baby Dick: No. You need to bring them to me.
Working Girl: I'm sorry sir. By policy I cannot leave the front desk and there is no one else on staff to bring you towels. The only option is for you to come down to front desk to get them.
Baby Dick: I can't come down to the front desk. I am completely naked.
Working Girl: Then I definitely cannot go up to the room.
*hangs up in my face*
No more than 20 seconds later this guy is down at the front desk. Not only is he not naked, he is wearing a shirt, shorts, and shoes. Either he is the fastest dresser in the world or he never was naked and he was just being a baby and a dick at the same time.
I hand him the towels.
Baby Dick: You know this isn't the service I am paying for.
Side Note: He was staying in a "limited service" hotel (meaning we don't have room service and housekeeping around the clock), that is the EXACT service he was paying for.
Working Girl: Okay.
Baby Dick: IT IS NOT OKAY!
He then walked off and I didn't see him again.
Could I have brought him the towels? Yes.
Would I if he had asked nicely? Yes.
Am I supposed to? No.
Front Desk Agents aren't allowed to leave the front desk. There should be someone behind the desk at all times. I shouldn't have to explain this to any guest. If someone came to check in and no one was standing there, they would be pissed and I would lose my job. This guy trying to turn me into a lesbian by showing me his unimpressive junk is not worth losing my job over.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Lie after Lie
Liars. These are the people that everyone hates, but we all lie. Some of us lie to get out of something, some of us lie to make other people feel good, and some of us lie because we are full of shit human beings with nothing better to do. These are the people I deal with everyday at work.
Captain Dick
Early on when I started working at the hotel I was working my normal Friday/Saturday night shifts. This one Friday I had another cheater come in with some ho. I checked him in as normal and then he went on to his room and gave that ho the best 5 minutes of her life.
Apparently the next day he told my boss that when I checked him in I shouted out his address, credit card number and room number like I had Tourette Syndrome. WHAT??? None of that shit happened. By law we can't say room numbers out loud, I can't see the entire card number on file and what would be the purpose behind me doing all that shit? My boss knew he was full of shit but there is no point to lie about that. He didn't get anything out of it, his rate wasn't decreased, I wasn't fired and his ho wasn't satisfied.
SandWOman
Not too long ago I had a woman come down to the front desk to tell me that she hadn't slept the whole night because there was sand in her bed. She wanted a discount. I don't give discounts easily, I asked her to explain.
SandWOman: I didn't sleep because there was black sand all over my bed.
Working Girl: Black sand? On the 3rd floor?
SandWOman: Yes. I had 2 queen beds and there was sand all in the bed closest to the window. My son slept fine because he was in the other bed but I didn't sleep at all.
Working Girl: Why didn't you come down to the front desk, we could've gotten you another room.
SandWOman: It was midnight; it was too late for that.
Working Girl: Krizzle (the shift manager), can you go check her room?
She goes to check and comes back to tell me that the sand is not black, there is a very small sprinkling of sand in the middle of the bed and that sand is now in BOTH of the beds when she claimed it was only one. How dare she come in here and not only lie but place sand in BOTH of the beds. What a simple bitch. Get your lies straight if that is what you're going to do. If you claim black sand, I better damn well see black sand. If you claim a whole beach full, then it better not look like it was scooped up with a thimble. I gave her a 10 dollar discount because she looked like hot garbage on a summer day.
After that she went and ate ass loads of the free breakfast and changed her baby's diaper on the hood of her car. Simple Trash.
Bloody Monday
This was similar to Sand Bitch. This guest came down and claimed that there was blood on the sheets of her bed. Again, we wondered why she didn't come down to the front desk.
Dumb Dumb: Well, we checked in really late so we were very tired and didn't check the sheets. We just got straight in bed.
Working Girl: So you checked in, went upstairs. didn't turn on the lights, didn't change out of your clothes, you just got in bed somehow knowing to pull back the blankets without any light?
Dumb Dumb: Yes.
I told my front desk agent and housekeeping manager to go check the room. They came back laughing because they claimed it looked as if an animal was slaughtered and the animal bled ketchup. This Dumb Dumb squirted ketchup all over the sheets and claimed it was blood. Safe to say she did not get a discount.
Corporate Account
This happened very recently. I received a phone call from a woman who claimed that her company filled out a corporate account sheet and it was agreed upon by the hotel that her company would get a rate of $73. When she looked at the credit card statement she was charged $148.
Lying Ass Bitch: Hi, I called the corporate offices and opened a case with with them, they were supposed to contact you then contact me but I never got a response. We filled out a corporate account form for a $73 dollar rate and was charged $148.
Working Girl: I let the corporate offices know that there is no corporate account form and the corporate account rate is $129.
Lying Ass Bitch: We filled one out for $73.
Working Girl: There isn't anything to fill out. There is no form of that nature, all corporate accounts go through me and we have never had a rate of $73.
Lying Ass Bitch: Are you new?
Working Girl: Nope. Been working here for 3 years.
Lying Ass Bitch: 3 YEARS? Well I guess we'll take our business elsewhere.
*Click*
I laughed because what this woman didn't know was that her toothless husband had drunkenly stumbled into the hotel a few nights before and revealed that he filled out a business lead sheet so that his mother in-law (Lying Ass Bitch's mother) could stay here at a cheaper rate. They are not a business; they just live up the street with no room for her sleep there.
These aren't the first and definitely not the last group of people to lie. But these are the people with the most creativity to make up the shit that they made up.
Captain Dick
Early on when I started working at the hotel I was working my normal Friday/Saturday night shifts. This one Friday I had another cheater come in with some ho. I checked him in as normal and then he went on to his room and gave that ho the best 5 minutes of her life.
Apparently the next day he told my boss that when I checked him in I shouted out his address, credit card number and room number like I had Tourette Syndrome. WHAT??? None of that shit happened. By law we can't say room numbers out loud, I can't see the entire card number on file and what would be the purpose behind me doing all that shit? My boss knew he was full of shit but there is no point to lie about that. He didn't get anything out of it, his rate wasn't decreased, I wasn't fired and his ho wasn't satisfied.
SandWOman
Not too long ago I had a woman come down to the front desk to tell me that she hadn't slept the whole night because there was sand in her bed. She wanted a discount. I don't give discounts easily, I asked her to explain.
SandWOman: I didn't sleep because there was black sand all over my bed.
Working Girl: Black sand? On the 3rd floor?
SandWOman: Yes. I had 2 queen beds and there was sand all in the bed closest to the window. My son slept fine because he was in the other bed but I didn't sleep at all.
Working Girl: Why didn't you come down to the front desk, we could've gotten you another room.
SandWOman: It was midnight; it was too late for that.
Working Girl: Krizzle (the shift manager), can you go check her room?
She goes to check and comes back to tell me that the sand is not black, there is a very small sprinkling of sand in the middle of the bed and that sand is now in BOTH of the beds when she claimed it was only one. How dare she come in here and not only lie but place sand in BOTH of the beds. What a simple bitch. Get your lies straight if that is what you're going to do. If you claim black sand, I better damn well see black sand. If you claim a whole beach full, then it better not look like it was scooped up with a thimble. I gave her a 10 dollar discount because she looked like hot garbage on a summer day.
After that she went and ate ass loads of the free breakfast and changed her baby's diaper on the hood of her car. Simple Trash.
Bloody Monday
This was similar to Sand Bitch. This guest came down and claimed that there was blood on the sheets of her bed. Again, we wondered why she didn't come down to the front desk.
Dumb Dumb: Well, we checked in really late so we were very tired and didn't check the sheets. We just got straight in bed.
Working Girl: So you checked in, went upstairs. didn't turn on the lights, didn't change out of your clothes, you just got in bed somehow knowing to pull back the blankets without any light?
Dumb Dumb: Yes.
I told my front desk agent and housekeeping manager to go check the room. They came back laughing because they claimed it looked as if an animal was slaughtered and the animal bled ketchup. This Dumb Dumb squirted ketchup all over the sheets and claimed it was blood. Safe to say she did not get a discount.
Corporate Account
This happened very recently. I received a phone call from a woman who claimed that her company filled out a corporate account sheet and it was agreed upon by the hotel that her company would get a rate of $73. When she looked at the credit card statement she was charged $148.
Lying Ass Bitch: Hi, I called the corporate offices and opened a case with with them, they were supposed to contact you then contact me but I never got a response. We filled out a corporate account form for a $73 dollar rate and was charged $148.
Working Girl: I let the corporate offices know that there is no corporate account form and the corporate account rate is $129.
Lying Ass Bitch: We filled one out for $73.
Working Girl: There isn't anything to fill out. There is no form of that nature, all corporate accounts go through me and we have never had a rate of $73.
Lying Ass Bitch: Are you new?
Working Girl: Nope. Been working here for 3 years.
Lying Ass Bitch: 3 YEARS? Well I guess we'll take our business elsewhere.
*Click*
I laughed because what this woman didn't know was that her toothless husband had drunkenly stumbled into the hotel a few nights before and revealed that he filled out a business lead sheet so that his mother in-law (Lying Ass Bitch's mother) could stay here at a cheaper rate. They are not a business; they just live up the street with no room for her sleep there.
These aren't the first and definitely not the last group of people to lie. But these are the people with the most creativity to make up the shit that they made up.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Don't Talk To Me
I've mentioned this before in an earlier post about when guests talk to the person behind the front desk and how awkward it is. I want to talk about this a bit more. No one likes that. No front desk person that I have ever met actually wants to talk to the guests. There are very few instances where I have been involved in a conversation with a guest/customer and actually enjoyed it. These examples are not those.
Too Long
When I worked at the office supply store I had a customer who came and got some prints done. It was a five minute job and therefore the exchange between us should've lasted the same amount of time. This guy stayed to talk to me for over an hour. At the hotel, an hour talking to a guest is nothing. At a retail store, an hour talking to a customer is equivalent to an entire shift. I have no idea what this guy was talking about. I don't think I got in more than eight words the entire time. Outside of not giving a shit, he was distracting me from my job. He continued talking while I was helping other customers as if they weren't there. He finally left and I could not have been happier. I can only imagine that a person would talk to a complete stranger for such a long period of time if they honestly had no one else to talk to in their life.
Old and Lonely
This is probably the most common amongst hotel guests. The older people want to talk. I can understand they have things to say and no one they know is living to tell these stories to. I had an older guy who was staying on the first floor and he came to the lobby. He told me he ordered a pizza and wanted to wait for the pizza guy in the lobby. That is all good and well, and then I went about my business. He then began asking me questions about my school and what I was majoring in.
Side Note: If you ask me what I'm doing and my response is "doing homework" then DO NOT CONTINUE TALKING TO ME! That has happened to me thousands of times. I've told guests I was taking timed tests, studying, doing homework, doing something for work and yet they still continue talking. Take that as a hint that I do not want to talk to your ass.
Back to the old guy, his pizza finally arrived about 20 minutes later and I thought that was the end of it. Apparently he felt so comfortable with me that he decided to eat his pizza in the lobby and continue to talk to me. He stayed there and talked for two hours until he finally shuffled back to his room leaving me with "I guess I'll let you get back to your school work."
Don't Talk To Me and Don't Ask Me for Shit
This one was a rare occasion. This girl came down and just started talking to me. She dressed as if she was about 15 but looked much older than that. She started talking about everything and anything, I later came to find out that she is mentally challenged. Shockingly enough, I have a soft spot. I have a god brother who has very severe Down Syndrome and I love him. I want nothing more for him than to be able to talk, play and and do everything that not only I can do, but things that other children with down syndrome can do. He can't do any of it. He made me want to talk to the girl. I continued talking to her as she told me about the Special Olympics and all the things that she wants to do. I was fine talking to her.
Then an hour went by...
Then a second hour went by...
Then a third hour went by...
Then the fourth hour went by....
Then my patience and caring started to wear thin. I had things to do. I had to work. I had homework. I didn't want to be rude but I also couldn't spend my entire eight hour shift letting her talk at me. Towards the end of it she started talking about how much she liked the Backstreet Boys. I am a huge BSB fan and actually had tickets for an upcoming BSB concert...I made the mistake of telling her that.
Chit Chat MaGoo: Can you buy me a T-shirt?
Working Girl: What?
Chit Chat MaGoo: Just buy me a shirt. As a gift.
Okay. Now my kindness flew out the goddamn window. I will talk to you, I will pretend to care but in no way shape or form am I going to spend my money on someone I don't know. I don't care how inspirational your story is. I felt bad saying no so I just brushed it off.
Working Girl: We'll see.
That actually got her to go away. If I had known that I would've offered to buy her a damn Ferrari after the first hour.
Too Long
When I worked at the office supply store I had a customer who came and got some prints done. It was a five minute job and therefore the exchange between us should've lasted the same amount of time. This guy stayed to talk to me for over an hour. At the hotel, an hour talking to a guest is nothing. At a retail store, an hour talking to a customer is equivalent to an entire shift. I have no idea what this guy was talking about. I don't think I got in more than eight words the entire time. Outside of not giving a shit, he was distracting me from my job. He continued talking while I was helping other customers as if they weren't there. He finally left and I could not have been happier. I can only imagine that a person would talk to a complete stranger for such a long period of time if they honestly had no one else to talk to in their life.
Old and Lonely
This is probably the most common amongst hotel guests. The older people want to talk. I can understand they have things to say and no one they know is living to tell these stories to. I had an older guy who was staying on the first floor and he came to the lobby. He told me he ordered a pizza and wanted to wait for the pizza guy in the lobby. That is all good and well, and then I went about my business. He then began asking me questions about my school and what I was majoring in.
Side Note: If you ask me what I'm doing and my response is "doing homework" then DO NOT CONTINUE TALKING TO ME! That has happened to me thousands of times. I've told guests I was taking timed tests, studying, doing homework, doing something for work and yet they still continue talking. Take that as a hint that I do not want to talk to your ass.
Back to the old guy, his pizza finally arrived about 20 minutes later and I thought that was the end of it. Apparently he felt so comfortable with me that he decided to eat his pizza in the lobby and continue to talk to me. He stayed there and talked for two hours until he finally shuffled back to his room leaving me with "I guess I'll let you get back to your school work."
Don't Talk To Me and Don't Ask Me for Shit
This one was a rare occasion. This girl came down and just started talking to me. She dressed as if she was about 15 but looked much older than that. She started talking about everything and anything, I later came to find out that she is mentally challenged. Shockingly enough, I have a soft spot. I have a god brother who has very severe Down Syndrome and I love him. I want nothing more for him than to be able to talk, play and and do everything that not only I can do, but things that other children with down syndrome can do. He can't do any of it. He made me want to talk to the girl. I continued talking to her as she told me about the Special Olympics and all the things that she wants to do. I was fine talking to her.
Then an hour went by...
Then a second hour went by...
Then a third hour went by...
Then the fourth hour went by....
Then my patience and caring started to wear thin. I had things to do. I had to work. I had homework. I didn't want to be rude but I also couldn't spend my entire eight hour shift letting her talk at me. Towards the end of it she started talking about how much she liked the Backstreet Boys. I am a huge BSB fan and actually had tickets for an upcoming BSB concert...I made the mistake of telling her that.
Chit Chat MaGoo: Can you buy me a T-shirt?
Working Girl: What?
Chit Chat MaGoo: Just buy me a shirt. As a gift.
Okay. Now my kindness flew out the goddamn window. I will talk to you, I will pretend to care but in no way shape or form am I going to spend my money on someone I don't know. I don't care how inspirational your story is. I felt bad saying no so I just brushed it off.
Working Girl: We'll see.
That actually got her to go away. If I had known that I would've offered to buy her a damn Ferrari after the first hour.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)