It's not hard. Talking on the phone is simple. I hate to sound like an old fogey but maybe, just maybe, texting and having everything at the tip of our fingers really is screwing up our society. I have noticed more and more that people don't know how to talk on the phone. Either they are too distracted and don't listen or they don't know when is an appropriate time for a conversation. Everyday I am given proof that technology really is screwing us up. Either people are brand new to it and don't know how to use it or they know how to use it a little too well but they don't know how to do anything else. I think....hold on, I'm getting a text....
Breakdown
If there was something I really hated at the office supply store, it was answering the phone. You never knew what was going to be on the other end. We honestly didn't get a lot of phone calls because we were the copy center, basic stuff. When we did get a phone call it was usually someone who needed way more assistance than just a copy job.
Working Girl: Thank you for calling the copy center, how may I help you?
Woman: Do you guy do price breaks?
Working Girl: Yes. The more copies you purchase the lower the price per copy.
Woman: How many copies can I make?
Working Girl: However many you want.
Woman: How much is it for color copies but 1,000 of them?
Working Girl: That breaks down to about 29 cents a copy so around $300
Woman: Wow! What about 500 copies?
Working Girl: That's $100 more because it's less copies.
Woman: Oh.
Working Girl: So do you have a large job for us to do? Somewhere between 500 and 1,000 copies?
Woman: Oh no, I have a job but I only need about 10 copies. Thanks for the information though.
Can I Take Your Order?
The hotel has a similar phone number to a local restaurant, in fact it is the same number with a one digit difference. When we answer the phone we say this:
"Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening, thank you for calling [Hotel Name]. Working Girl speaking, How may I help you?"
Obviously, people don't pay attention to that.
Working Girl: Good Evening, thank you for calling [Hotel Name]. Working Girl speaking, how may I help you?
Deaf Girl: Hi, I'd like to order a pizza for pick up.
Working Girl: This isn't a pizza place, it's a hotel. I think you have the wrong number.
Deaf Girl: Can I get a large pizza with sausage...
Working Girl: Ma'am you have the wrong number.
Deaf Girl: Yeah, extra cheese.
Working Girl: THIS IS NOT A RESTAURANT. IT IS A HOTEL!
Deaf Girl: This isn't Tommy's?
Working Girl: Nope.
Deaf Girl: Oh, sorry.
This one came from inside a room...
Working Girl: Front Desk?
Woman: Sandwich?
Working Girl: That's not my name.
Woman: Can I get a sandwich?
Working Girl: Feel free to do so but why are you calling me?
Woman: So that you can make me a sandwich.
Working Girl: Oh! We don't have room service.
Woman: Yeah I know.
Working Girl: What?
Woman: I know you don't have room service but I was wondering if you would make me a sandwich.
Working Girl: There's a Subway across the street. I'm sure they'd be happy to make you a sandwich.
Woman: Oh, so you're not going to make it?
Working Girl: No.
Woman: Oh okay. So where across the street?
Excellent Readers, Below Average Thinkers
Something that both myself and my staff HATES is when someone calls with questions about the hotel when they are in front of a computer on the hotel's website. They ask questions that they already know the answers to but yet still they don't understand our frustration.
Reader: So the website says you have a parking lot. You do have one right?
Working Girl: Yes.
Reader: The website says that you get a special rate if you book the manager's special but you have to stay for three days between Thursday and Sunday. Does it count if I stay, Thursday, Friday and Saturday?
Working Girl: Yes.
Reader: It says on your website that you have a meeting room used only for meetings and conferences, can I hold my wedding there?
Working Girl: No.
Reader: Do you serve lunch?
Working Girl: No.
Reader: Yeah your website says breakfast and dinner but I thought I'd ask anyway.
Reader: It says on your website that the rate is lower on the weekends, is it?
Working Girl: Yes.
You get the point.
Rate
We expect questions about the rate. We don't expect people to get pissed off at us when we give them the information they ask for.
Bitch: We are senior citizens, triple-A members, retired military, we own the book and we are apart of your rewards program. What is the rate for 1 king bed for one night?
Working Girl: $143.10 plus tax.
Bitch: I said we're senior citizens, triple-A members, retired military and we own the book.
Working Girl: You can only use one discount at a time, "the book" doesn't give you a discount and neither does the rewards program. That is the discounted rate.
Bitch: That's the discounted rate?
Working Girl: Yes.
Bitch: So you're giving us the discounted rate?
Working Girl: Yes.
Bitch: Well nevermind.
This woman obviously doesn't have a grasp of American currency...
Woman: What's the rate for tonight?
Working Girl: One hundred fifty-nine.
Woman: DOLLARS!?
This woman doesn't know a good deal when she sees one...
Woman: So I found you guys online for a really cheap rate. Do you guys have like bed bugs or something?
Amles: What is the rate?
Woman: $20
Amles: We don't have bed bugs but I'd suggest you'd jump on that.
Please think BEFORE you pick up the phone.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Homeless Pt. 1
Anytime you work anywhere there is a chance that a homeless person will wander in. This happens quite a bit at the hotel. I think it's because it looks so peaceful and quiet that they feel as if they won't be bothered. The problem is, the hotel is not a hang out spot. People can't just kick it in the hotel. If every homeless person just wanted to sit for 20 minutes, we wouldn't have a problem...but they never just want to sit, they've always gotta do something weird.
Mind's Playing Tricks On Him
I was at work once when this guy comes in dressed in a dirty suit and hat. He has between two and three teeth, a wandering eye and he is extremely loud. He strutted right up to the front desk and puts a dollar on the counter.
Bushwick: Can I get four quarters?
Working Girl: Sure.
I exchange the dollar for four quarters.
Bushwick: Can I get a dollar bill?
Working Girl: Um...okay.
I then exchange the four quarters I gave him for dollar he had given me originally.
This went on for another two minutes. We were just exchanging the same four quarters and same dollar bill over and over again. I finally had to put an end to it.
Working Girl: You know what, I'm out. You've got all my money.
Bushwick: Okay. Thank you.
He then walks up to a guest sitting in the lobby on the computer.
Bushwick: JERRY BROWN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!
Guy: Okay then. Have a nice day.
Bushwick then leaves but as he's leaving he's shouting "JERRY BROWN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!" over and over again.
Side Note: I call him Bushwick because he reminded me of Bushwick Bill from the Geto Boys. If you don't know the Geto Boys, YouTube "Mind Playing Tricks on Me." Also, Jerry Brown is the governor of California. I have no idea why he'd want to kill Bushwick, Jerry Brown seems like an okay guy.
Helpful
Again, when you see a nicely furnished building but no people are inside that you can see, you become nosy. I was at work on a Saturday when I heard a noise coming from the kitchen/dining room. There were no other employees there besides myself. I went to go see which non-reading guest ignored the 'Employees Only' sign again and walked into the kitchen. When I arrive, I see a homeless man playing with the silverware. He's actually rearranging it. He's putting the knives where the spoons go, the spoons where the forks are supposed to be, etc.
Working Girl: HEY! What are you doing?
Crazy: I'm just being helpful.
Working Girl: Well thanks but you've got to go.
Crazy: Okay.
He then left and I put all of the silverware in the dishwasher. I'm sure he meant no harm by what he was doing but it was so weird. Did he pull that excuse out of his ass or did he really think he was being helpful? I'll never know.
Starving Artist
This happened rather recently. I walked to the dining area to get myself some tea. I take five minutes to make my tea. When I'm finally done making my tea, I turn to the right and see a foot. I follow the foot and it is attached to the leg of a homeless guy sitting on the floor, in the corner of the room coloring. I couldn't believe it so I asked for a second opinion.
I called my front desk agent and asked her to walk to the dining room and tell me if she sees something. She didn't see him at first so she didn't know why I asked her to do that. Then she saw him.
Amles: What the hell?
Working Girl: Right? So I'm not tripping out. You see him too?
Amles: What is he doing? Is he drawing? What is this? He can't do that here.
Working Girl: Excuse Me (to the guy), you're not a guest here.
Artist: No.
Working Girl: Then I can't have you hanging out in my lobby.
Artist: I was just coming in here to finish my work.
Working Girl: I understand that but I'm sorry if you're not an employee or a guest here, I can't have you in the hotel.
Artist: WELL LET ME FINISH MY COLORING FIRST!
Working Girl: Bro...NO!
He left very upset.
I honestly have no words for this.
Mind's Playing Tricks On Him
I was at work once when this guy comes in dressed in a dirty suit and hat. He has between two and three teeth, a wandering eye and he is extremely loud. He strutted right up to the front desk and puts a dollar on the counter.
Bushwick: Can I get four quarters?
Working Girl: Sure.
I exchange the dollar for four quarters.
Bushwick: Can I get a dollar bill?
Working Girl: Um...okay.
I then exchange the four quarters I gave him for dollar he had given me originally.
This went on for another two minutes. We were just exchanging the same four quarters and same dollar bill over and over again. I finally had to put an end to it.
Working Girl: You know what, I'm out. You've got all my money.
Bushwick: Okay. Thank you.
He then walks up to a guest sitting in the lobby on the computer.
Bushwick: JERRY BROWN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!
Guy: Okay then. Have a nice day.
Bushwick then leaves but as he's leaving he's shouting "JERRY BROWN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!" over and over again.
Side Note: I call him Bushwick because he reminded me of Bushwick Bill from the Geto Boys. If you don't know the Geto Boys, YouTube "Mind Playing Tricks on Me." Also, Jerry Brown is the governor of California. I have no idea why he'd want to kill Bushwick, Jerry Brown seems like an okay guy.
Helpful
Again, when you see a nicely furnished building but no people are inside that you can see, you become nosy. I was at work on a Saturday when I heard a noise coming from the kitchen/dining room. There were no other employees there besides myself. I went to go see which non-reading guest ignored the 'Employees Only' sign again and walked into the kitchen. When I arrive, I see a homeless man playing with the silverware. He's actually rearranging it. He's putting the knives where the spoons go, the spoons where the forks are supposed to be, etc.
Working Girl: HEY! What are you doing?
Crazy: I'm just being helpful.
Working Girl: Well thanks but you've got to go.
Crazy: Okay.
He then left and I put all of the silverware in the dishwasher. I'm sure he meant no harm by what he was doing but it was so weird. Did he pull that excuse out of his ass or did he really think he was being helpful? I'll never know.
Starving Artist
This happened rather recently. I walked to the dining area to get myself some tea. I take five minutes to make my tea. When I'm finally done making my tea, I turn to the right and see a foot. I follow the foot and it is attached to the leg of a homeless guy sitting on the floor, in the corner of the room coloring. I couldn't believe it so I asked for a second opinion.
I called my front desk agent and asked her to walk to the dining room and tell me if she sees something. She didn't see him at first so she didn't know why I asked her to do that. Then she saw him.
Amles: What the hell?
Working Girl: Right? So I'm not tripping out. You see him too?
Amles: What is he doing? Is he drawing? What is this? He can't do that here.
Working Girl: Excuse Me (to the guy), you're not a guest here.
Artist: No.
Working Girl: Then I can't have you hanging out in my lobby.
Artist: I was just coming in here to finish my work.
Working Girl: I understand that but I'm sorry if you're not an employee or a guest here, I can't have you in the hotel.
Artist: WELL LET ME FINISH MY COLORING FIRST!
Working Girl: Bro...NO!
He left very upset.
I honestly have no words for this.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Dumb & Never Ending
A part of my duties as General Manager is to go shopping for the hotel. Due to the lavish breakfast and dinner served, I go to the store three days a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday are the days when I have to buy endless amounts of Bananas, Yogurt, Apples and Milk. For the most part, my trips to the store go off without a hitch but Wednesday, every damn Wednesday, I have to go to one specific store that I like to call 'Dumb and Never Ending'. I mostly don't like it because I have to buy so much stuff when I go there. The reason I buy so much on Wednesday is because I'm not going to do this again on Monday and Friday. On Monday and Friday I normally buy between three and six items but Wednesday I get a full work out in with grocery shopping. That's one of the major problems because the people who work there are fine but the biggest problem I have are the other customers.
I've gotten it down to a science, I go in at the exact same time every Wednesday and my list is in the order that I go to get to the check out line fastest. You would think that with all that preparation I wouldn't have such a hard time getting through it, you would be wrong. I like to think of it as a video game:
I am the character and my mission is to get everything on the list, which is normally between 40-50 items, in the fastest amount of time as possible. The problem is that standing in my way are obstacles normally in the form of other customers. I am taller than they are, stronger than they are and faster than they are but they outnumber me 50:1. Can I make it out without getting arrested?
First Time
For my first trip to the store I took the housekeeping manager with me so she could tell me exactly what to get the first time and I would know each time thereafter. We were in the large walk-in freezer and she was showing me the yogurt. I personally don't like yogurt and it's all the same to me but we have to buy a specific brand. We had already gotten a few things like bagels, salad, bananas, etc. As we picked up the large boxes of yogurt to put in our cart, we turn around to see a woman taking things out of our cart and putting them into her hand basket. She was shopping out of our cart.
I have told a few people this story and they always ask: "Well was your cart like on the other side of the room or outside of the freezer? The Answer: NO! Our cart was directly behind us. My hip was touching the cart at the time.
Working Girl: Hey! Put that shit back!
Woman: Oh, Oh. Sorry.
After she put it back, she scurried off and the housekeeping manager was laughing so hard at my reaction that she had tears streaming down her face.
Is That What I'm Here For?
This happened before I even got in the store. I was walking from my car to the front of the store to get a cart. As I walked up, a woman tried to get my attention the worst way.
Woman: YOU HELP ME!
She was pointing at me. What she was trying to say was that the carts were stuck together and they wouldn't separate. She wanted me to help her pull it out.
Working Girl: I help you? Oh! Okay, you pull and I'll hold the other cart still.
Woman: YOU DO BOTH!
Working Girl: *sigh* No, you pull and I will hold the other cart still.
Woman: Okay.
So we get the carts separated and she has her cart and I have mine. As I'm pushing my cart towards the door, this bitch SHOULDER CHECKS ME!
YOU WANNA GO, BITCH!?!?
I Honestly Don't Know
The problem with going to the store and buying a cart full of items that includes eight giant boxes of yogurt, two bags of five-pound salad, seven bunches of bananas, 12 bottles of toilet cleaner and 30 more items, is that you get people staring at you.
I'm fine with that, I know it's not a normal grocery shopping haul and therefore I do get looks when I'm struggling to push a cart to the checkout stand but do not ask me how much each item is in my cart. I get this every single time I go to that store. I'm always asked "Is that on sale?" "How much is that?" "What do you need all the toilet cleaner for?" I really don't know the answers to most of your questions. I can tell you that I work in a hotel but that's about it. I don't know how much any individual item is in my cart nor do I know if it is on sale. The only thing I know is that I have to buy this.
It's hard not to feel like an animal at the zoo when people are just staring at you, so when someone asks me a question I'm really not trying to be rude but I can't take it anymore. I normally just answer with "I don't know" so then they take it upon themselves to take the items from my cart and look for a price tag. That's when my head explodes.
Put It On My Tab
I was in line putting the groceries on the conveyor belt and I noticed that as I was taking stuff out of my cart, the shopping cart wasn't becoming any more empty. That's when I realized the woman in line behind me was putting her stuff in my cart. This is one of those scenarios that I have to laugh about but at the time I was furious.
What did she think was gonna happen? Did she think that after my 100th trip to this store I didn't know what I bought? Did she think I was going to pay for her groceries? Was she "resting" her food in my cart? WHAT? WHAT!? WHAT!!? I don't understand.
In my rage, I said not a word and I picked up her shit, and dropped it on the floor. If she had at least said something to me prior to her just putting her groceries in my cart, this would've gone completely differently. But she didn't, she wanted me to drop her shit on the floor obviously. There is no logical reasoning behind that.
Candy
As I said earlier, the people who work there are fine. They are friendly people who are just as annoyed with the rest of their clientele as I am. Originally they got on my nerves too because they would always ask me the same questions that the other customers did, but then they got to know me and now we are all very cordial to each other and sometimes talk as if we are not complete strangers....except for one person.
The security guard. He doesn't bother me necessarily but I feel like he should probably be off securing shit as opposed to following me around and hitting on me. For the most part he would just stare, wave and say hello.
I normally buy candy for the candy jar at the front desk. I spend a bit of time there because I like to get different candy each time. The treat is mostly for our guests but there is no harm in us diving in to get a sweet treat as well.
One day when I grabbed two or three bags of candy and put them in my basket, I turned around to see the security guard standing in front of me.
Security Guard: Mmm, can I put some candy in your basket?
WHAT!? EW! NO!
I politely laughed it off and awkwardly ran away but really? That's how you speak to a customer? Even if you were going to harmlessly flirt that would be better than you making an obvious sexual innuendo to me. I have no time for that and now I need to avoid any and all eye contact with you from here on out.
I've gotten it down to a science, I go in at the exact same time every Wednesday and my list is in the order that I go to get to the check out line fastest. You would think that with all that preparation I wouldn't have such a hard time getting through it, you would be wrong. I like to think of it as a video game:
I am the character and my mission is to get everything on the list, which is normally between 40-50 items, in the fastest amount of time as possible. The problem is that standing in my way are obstacles normally in the form of other customers. I am taller than they are, stronger than they are and faster than they are but they outnumber me 50:1. Can I make it out without getting arrested?
First Time
For my first trip to the store I took the housekeeping manager with me so she could tell me exactly what to get the first time and I would know each time thereafter. We were in the large walk-in freezer and she was showing me the yogurt. I personally don't like yogurt and it's all the same to me but we have to buy a specific brand. We had already gotten a few things like bagels, salad, bananas, etc. As we picked up the large boxes of yogurt to put in our cart, we turn around to see a woman taking things out of our cart and putting them into her hand basket. She was shopping out of our cart.
I have told a few people this story and they always ask: "Well was your cart like on the other side of the room or outside of the freezer? The Answer: NO! Our cart was directly behind us. My hip was touching the cart at the time.
Working Girl: Hey! Put that shit back!
Woman: Oh, Oh. Sorry.
After she put it back, she scurried off and the housekeeping manager was laughing so hard at my reaction that she had tears streaming down her face.
Is That What I'm Here For?
This happened before I even got in the store. I was walking from my car to the front of the store to get a cart. As I walked up, a woman tried to get my attention the worst way.
Woman: YOU HELP ME!
She was pointing at me. What she was trying to say was that the carts were stuck together and they wouldn't separate. She wanted me to help her pull it out.
Working Girl: I help you? Oh! Okay, you pull and I'll hold the other cart still.
Woman: YOU DO BOTH!
Working Girl: *sigh* No, you pull and I will hold the other cart still.
Woman: Okay.
So we get the carts separated and she has her cart and I have mine. As I'm pushing my cart towards the door, this bitch SHOULDER CHECKS ME!
YOU WANNA GO, BITCH!?!?
I Honestly Don't Know
The problem with going to the store and buying a cart full of items that includes eight giant boxes of yogurt, two bags of five-pound salad, seven bunches of bananas, 12 bottles of toilet cleaner and 30 more items, is that you get people staring at you.
I'm fine with that, I know it's not a normal grocery shopping haul and therefore I do get looks when I'm struggling to push a cart to the checkout stand but do not ask me how much each item is in my cart. I get this every single time I go to that store. I'm always asked "Is that on sale?" "How much is that?" "What do you need all the toilet cleaner for?" I really don't know the answers to most of your questions. I can tell you that I work in a hotel but that's about it. I don't know how much any individual item is in my cart nor do I know if it is on sale. The only thing I know is that I have to buy this.
It's hard not to feel like an animal at the zoo when people are just staring at you, so when someone asks me a question I'm really not trying to be rude but I can't take it anymore. I normally just answer with "I don't know" so then they take it upon themselves to take the items from my cart and look for a price tag. That's when my head explodes.
Put It On My Tab
I was in line putting the groceries on the conveyor belt and I noticed that as I was taking stuff out of my cart, the shopping cart wasn't becoming any more empty. That's when I realized the woman in line behind me was putting her stuff in my cart. This is one of those scenarios that I have to laugh about but at the time I was furious.
What did she think was gonna happen? Did she think that after my 100th trip to this store I didn't know what I bought? Did she think I was going to pay for her groceries? Was she "resting" her food in my cart? WHAT? WHAT!? WHAT!!? I don't understand.
In my rage, I said not a word and I picked up her shit, and dropped it on the floor. If she had at least said something to me prior to her just putting her groceries in my cart, this would've gone completely differently. But she didn't, she wanted me to drop her shit on the floor obviously. There is no logical reasoning behind that.
Candy
As I said earlier, the people who work there are fine. They are friendly people who are just as annoyed with the rest of their clientele as I am. Originally they got on my nerves too because they would always ask me the same questions that the other customers did, but then they got to know me and now we are all very cordial to each other and sometimes talk as if we are not complete strangers....except for one person.
The security guard. He doesn't bother me necessarily but I feel like he should probably be off securing shit as opposed to following me around and hitting on me. For the most part he would just stare, wave and say hello.
I normally buy candy for the candy jar at the front desk. I spend a bit of time there because I like to get different candy each time. The treat is mostly for our guests but there is no harm in us diving in to get a sweet treat as well.
One day when I grabbed two or three bags of candy and put them in my basket, I turned around to see the security guard standing in front of me.
Security Guard: Mmm, can I put some candy in your basket?
WHAT!? EW! NO!
I politely laughed it off and awkwardly ran away but really? That's how you speak to a customer? Even if you were going to harmlessly flirt that would be better than you making an obvious sexual innuendo to me. I have no time for that and now I need to avoid any and all eye contact with you from here on out.
Friday, March 15, 2013
Tani Gold: The Fight
This was one of my last exchanges with Tani Gold and it was a heated one. It all started at our quarterly staff meeting. Nothing ever changed in the staff meetings, it was same stuff we were told every 3 months and for the most part, we all tried to get in and out as quickly as possible. The manager always asked if we needed anything cleared up or if we had any questions or concerns. The answer, most of the time, was always no. Not only because we really didn't have any but also because we wanted to leave.
At this point in time, things had gotten really uncomfortable between Tani and the rest of the staff. She had gotten so out of hand that she was now the "black sheep" of our little hotel family, similar to the way she was the black sheep in her own family. It wasn't us, it was her.
Tani had stopped speaking to us completely and it got so bad that she only spoke to the manager (who she also hated) through e-mail. Even if Tani and Condii were at the hotel together and Condii was 10 feet away in her office, Tani would e-mail her and then forward the e-mail to the owner. Even the owner had enough of her antics. He told her that he did not need to be involved in the minor back and forth e-mails in which she was being completely unprofessional and Condii was being as nice as she could without slapping her in the face.
During the meeting Tani had a question to ask. None of us payed attention because...well...screw that bitch. She disrespected us so now she was going to get a taste of her own medicine. When Tani was asking Condii a question even Condii didn't pay any attention. Condii and I had a cool relationship and a very similar sense of humor. While Tani asked her question, Condii made funny faces at me. I giggled. All hell broke loose.
Tani: YA KNOW, WORKING GIRL, IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY QUESTION THEN THAT IS FINE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN. BUT DON'T SIT HERE AND LAUGH AT ME.
Working Girl: What!? Tani you have NO IDEA what you're talking about. I wasn't even laughing at you. I was laughing because Condii was making funny faces.
Tani: YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH A CRAZY PERSON!
That's when I lost my shit. No one cared about her temper tantrum and we were all ignoring her but if she had the lady balls to even slightly threaten me, she had another thing coming.
After she said that TT Y'all, who was sitting between us, moved because she knew that I was about to swing on that bitch.
Working Girl: TANI, YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ENOUGH TO NOT GET KNOCKED BACK. UNDERSTAND THAT.
Tani: Look, I'm crazy and you should never mess with a crazy person. That's all I'm saying.
Working Girl: Crazy isn't going to stop me from swinging on you Tani. I'm both crazy and violent.
Before I stood up and pulled that ratted weave out of her skull, Condii took control of the situation.
Condii: Y'all settle down. Tani stop it. It was my fault. Don't be mad at her.
The meeting ended and Tani, being emotionally unstable, stomped out. The rest of us laughed because we knew she wasn't the smartest horse in the stable (or the best looking).
One of my coworkers asked me if I thought Tani was actually going to do something. I answered very calmly.
Working Girl: Anyone who says "I'm crazy, I'm crazy" is really not that crazy. If she was really going to do something she would've done it. Crazy people don't warn people, they just do it.
Soon after that Tani was no longer trying to destroy our lives because she didn't work there anymore, which is a story soon to come but writing this made me realize that meetings were the only time when Tani expressed her negative feelings to my face.
Within the first five meetings that we had Tani had a smartass remark towards me that stemmed from something that virtually had nothing to do with her.
I went to LA on a Monday for vacation because I didn't work until Friday. I told no one because a.) I wasn't scheduled to work and b.) It was nobody's damn business. It turns out that one of my coworkers had a family emergency and couldn't work so the owner called me to work for her. I told him I couldn't which should've been the end of that. Then the girl who needed me to fill in called me and I told her I couldn't. After two "No's" you would think that would be the end of that. Until Tani called me.
Tani: So you're gonna be here at 2:30 to relieve me.
Working Girl: Ugh! No, I'm not.
Tani: Well why?
Working Girl: Because none of your business, that's why.
Then I hung up with frustration.
At the end of the next meeting I was joking around with my friend/coworker who lost a lot of weight on vacation. I told her she needed a sandwich STAT.
TT Y'all (laughing): Oooh. You're so mean. I didn't know you were that mean.
Tani: I knew she was mean, I found that out when she was on her vacation.
She, again, stormed out.
I honestly believe that if you look up the word 'Nightmare' in the dictionary the definition would be 'Tani Gold."
At this point in time, things had gotten really uncomfortable between Tani and the rest of the staff. She had gotten so out of hand that she was now the "black sheep" of our little hotel family, similar to the way she was the black sheep in her own family. It wasn't us, it was her.
Tani had stopped speaking to us completely and it got so bad that she only spoke to the manager (who she also hated) through e-mail. Even if Tani and Condii were at the hotel together and Condii was 10 feet away in her office, Tani would e-mail her and then forward the e-mail to the owner. Even the owner had enough of her antics. He told her that he did not need to be involved in the minor back and forth e-mails in which she was being completely unprofessional and Condii was being as nice as she could without slapping her in the face.
During the meeting Tani had a question to ask. None of us payed attention because...well...screw that bitch. She disrespected us so now she was going to get a taste of her own medicine. When Tani was asking Condii a question even Condii didn't pay any attention. Condii and I had a cool relationship and a very similar sense of humor. While Tani asked her question, Condii made funny faces at me. I giggled. All hell broke loose.
Tani: YA KNOW, WORKING GIRL, IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY QUESTION THEN THAT IS FINE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN. BUT DON'T SIT HERE AND LAUGH AT ME.
Working Girl: What!? Tani you have NO IDEA what you're talking about. I wasn't even laughing at you. I was laughing because Condii was making funny faces.
Tani: YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH A CRAZY PERSON!
That's when I lost my shit. No one cared about her temper tantrum and we were all ignoring her but if she had the lady balls to even slightly threaten me, she had another thing coming.
After she said that TT Y'all, who was sitting between us, moved because she knew that I was about to swing on that bitch.
Working Girl: TANI, YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ENOUGH TO NOT GET KNOCKED BACK. UNDERSTAND THAT.
Tani: Look, I'm crazy and you should never mess with a crazy person. That's all I'm saying.
Working Girl: Crazy isn't going to stop me from swinging on you Tani. I'm both crazy and violent.
Before I stood up and pulled that ratted weave out of her skull, Condii took control of the situation.
Condii: Y'all settle down. Tani stop it. It was my fault. Don't be mad at her.
The meeting ended and Tani, being emotionally unstable, stomped out. The rest of us laughed because we knew she wasn't the smartest horse in the stable (or the best looking).
One of my coworkers asked me if I thought Tani was actually going to do something. I answered very calmly.
Working Girl: Anyone who says "I'm crazy, I'm crazy" is really not that crazy. If she was really going to do something she would've done it. Crazy people don't warn people, they just do it.
Soon after that Tani was no longer trying to destroy our lives because she didn't work there anymore, which is a story soon to come but writing this made me realize that meetings were the only time when Tani expressed her negative feelings to my face.
Within the first five meetings that we had Tani had a smartass remark towards me that stemmed from something that virtually had nothing to do with her.
I went to LA on a Monday for vacation because I didn't work until Friday. I told no one because a.) I wasn't scheduled to work and b.) It was nobody's damn business. It turns out that one of my coworkers had a family emergency and couldn't work so the owner called me to work for her. I told him I couldn't which should've been the end of that. Then the girl who needed me to fill in called me and I told her I couldn't. After two "No's" you would think that would be the end of that. Until Tani called me.
Tani: So you're gonna be here at 2:30 to relieve me.
Working Girl: Ugh! No, I'm not.
Tani: Well why?
Working Girl: Because none of your business, that's why.
Then I hung up with frustration.
At the end of the next meeting I was joking around with my friend/coworker who lost a lot of weight on vacation. I told her she needed a sandwich STAT.
TT Y'all (laughing): Oooh. You're so mean. I didn't know you were that mean.
Tani: I knew she was mean, I found that out when she was on her vacation.
She, again, stormed out.
I honestly believe that if you look up the word 'Nightmare' in the dictionary the definition would be 'Tani Gold."
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Girls Girls Girls
I've had a lot of encounters with women while at work and though some were semi-interesting, the most ridiculous ones came from girls. There is more of a difference between women and girls than just age. A large factor is how they carry themselves. I've dealt with a lot of women but I've dealt with even more catty girls. Girls display their insecurities more than any other and unfortunately, sometimes, they display it to a harmless Working Girl.
The Slut of Beverly Hills
There is a guest who stays at the hotel three times a year. He normally makes a few reservations, one for his parents, one for other family and one for himself and the groupie he's with. He is a good looking military man who just so happens to be a very nice guy. He is attracted to the opposite of that. His girlfriend has model good looks but the worst personality I've ever seen. She has her nose in the air to be on the same level as her fake tits. Everything about her is "Barbie." She is blonde, thin, tan, and has matching heels for every occasion.
In order for you to get a grasp of who she is as a person, I will explain two scenarios:
1. He and his family were in the lobby dining room playing dominoes. It was around 7pm and they had ordered pizza. It was obviously going to be a relaxing night in with the family. She came downstairs wearing a pink velour sweatsuit and 6 inch black heels. To play dominoes. And eat pizza. At 7pm. In the dining room of a hotel. Let that sink in.
2. He has a son from a previous relationship that accompanied them on one of their trips last year. They went to the hot tub. The young boy had arm floaties, goggles and swim trunks. His dad was wearing swim trunks as well. She was wearing a tank top, designer jeans and 7 inch red heels. She did not remove one item of clothing and therefore she did not touch the water.
Her boyfriend has always been friendly towards me but when I say hello she turns her head and acts as if I wasn't there. Which is fine. I have no interest in speaking to her but it is my job. It is the job of the person at the front desk of a hotel to be as nice as possible, even if the sincerity is lacking. I think she thought that my being nice meant that I wanted her boyfriend. But in all actuality, I'm really okay.
Hit It and Quit It Girlfriend
We get a lot of people in the military at the hotel. Especially men. This one specific story stems from a large group of men who were stationed here for a month, they were all ranging in age and they all had a roommate. One room had an older gentleman and a younger guy no older than 24. Apparently on the first night they got here, they all checked out the bar scene. The older guy went back to the hotel early but the younger guy continued hanging out at the bar because he met a girl.
This girl looked really young. She was obviously old enough to get into a club/bar but she also had braces. Depending on where they went, she could have been between the ages of 18-21. My guess would've been 13 due to the way she acted but I'm not here to judge.
Just like any other stupid high school girl, she fell in love instantly. Starting that night, he was her boyfriend. She was always at the hotel, so much so that his roommate would complain to me about losing sleep or not wanting to be in the room because they were having sex constantly.
I had two juicy run ins with this girl that I will never forget. The first was when he came downstairs and waited in the lobby for her to pick him up. He started talking to me about sports. Specifically we talked about basketball, a sport that I have extensive knowledge on. We got so caught up talking about LeBron, Blake and Kobe that he didn't realize what time it was. She came in very upset.
Jailbait: What are you doing?
Sea Man: I was just talking to Working Girl about basketball. Why?
Jailbait: I've been waiting in my car for five minutes!!
Sea Man: Oh, sorry.
Jailbait: SORRY!? Why are you even talking to HER!? I didn't even know you liked basketball.
She glanced at me and I laughed.
Sea Man: I'll talk to you later Working Girl.
Working Girl: See Ya.
Jailbait: UGH!
Do you think she was just a tad bit peeved?
The second encounter was my favorite. Due to the previous run in, she chose not to acknowledge me when she came to see him. She never really had to because he gave her a key to the room. One day she came right in, walked past me and went up to the room. No more than 2 minutes later, she came down and actually spoke to me.
Jailbait: My key won't work.
Working Girl: Okay, which room?
Jailbait: *sigh* Room 315.
Working Girl: Okay, let me check.
I go to the computer and do some investigating only to find that he and his roommate checked out that morning.
Working Girl: I don't have anyone in that room.
Jailbait: What!!?!?!? My boyfriend is staying here! Craig!
Working Girl: It looks like Craig checked out this morning.
Jailbait: There has to be some mistake. Why wouldn't he tell me that? Did he move?
Working Girl: Well he checked out soooo no. He's just gone. Have a nice day though.
Then she left in a big huff. She came back the next day to see if he left anything for her but sadly she was let down.
Later that evening, his ship mates, who were still staying, were sitting in the lobby talking about Craig, Jailbait and their strange relationship. They laughed about it and they laughed at her expense. At some point we all were laughing. I guess that's what she gets for being one of those girls.
The Slut of Beverly Hills
There is a guest who stays at the hotel three times a year. He normally makes a few reservations, one for his parents, one for other family and one for himself and the groupie he's with. He is a good looking military man who just so happens to be a very nice guy. He is attracted to the opposite of that. His girlfriend has model good looks but the worst personality I've ever seen. She has her nose in the air to be on the same level as her fake tits. Everything about her is "Barbie." She is blonde, thin, tan, and has matching heels for every occasion.
In order for you to get a grasp of who she is as a person, I will explain two scenarios:
1. He and his family were in the lobby dining room playing dominoes. It was around 7pm and they had ordered pizza. It was obviously going to be a relaxing night in with the family. She came downstairs wearing a pink velour sweatsuit and 6 inch black heels. To play dominoes. And eat pizza. At 7pm. In the dining room of a hotel. Let that sink in.
2. He has a son from a previous relationship that accompanied them on one of their trips last year. They went to the hot tub. The young boy had arm floaties, goggles and swim trunks. His dad was wearing swim trunks as well. She was wearing a tank top, designer jeans and 7 inch red heels. She did not remove one item of clothing and therefore she did not touch the water.
Her boyfriend has always been friendly towards me but when I say hello she turns her head and acts as if I wasn't there. Which is fine. I have no interest in speaking to her but it is my job. It is the job of the person at the front desk of a hotel to be as nice as possible, even if the sincerity is lacking. I think she thought that my being nice meant that I wanted her boyfriend. But in all actuality, I'm really okay.
Hit It and Quit It Girlfriend
We get a lot of people in the military at the hotel. Especially men. This one specific story stems from a large group of men who were stationed here for a month, they were all ranging in age and they all had a roommate. One room had an older gentleman and a younger guy no older than 24. Apparently on the first night they got here, they all checked out the bar scene. The older guy went back to the hotel early but the younger guy continued hanging out at the bar because he met a girl.
This girl looked really young. She was obviously old enough to get into a club/bar but she also had braces. Depending on where they went, she could have been between the ages of 18-21. My guess would've been 13 due to the way she acted but I'm not here to judge.
Just like any other stupid high school girl, she fell in love instantly. Starting that night, he was her boyfriend. She was always at the hotel, so much so that his roommate would complain to me about losing sleep or not wanting to be in the room because they were having sex constantly.
I had two juicy run ins with this girl that I will never forget. The first was when he came downstairs and waited in the lobby for her to pick him up. He started talking to me about sports. Specifically we talked about basketball, a sport that I have extensive knowledge on. We got so caught up talking about LeBron, Blake and Kobe that he didn't realize what time it was. She came in very upset.
Jailbait: What are you doing?
Sea Man: I was just talking to Working Girl about basketball. Why?
Jailbait: I've been waiting in my car for five minutes!!
Sea Man: Oh, sorry.
Jailbait: SORRY!? Why are you even talking to HER!? I didn't even know you liked basketball.
She glanced at me and I laughed.
Sea Man: I'll talk to you later Working Girl.
Working Girl: See Ya.
Jailbait: UGH!
Do you think she was just a tad bit peeved?
The second encounter was my favorite. Due to the previous run in, she chose not to acknowledge me when she came to see him. She never really had to because he gave her a key to the room. One day she came right in, walked past me and went up to the room. No more than 2 minutes later, she came down and actually spoke to me.
Jailbait: My key won't work.
Working Girl: Okay, which room?
Jailbait: *sigh* Room 315.
Working Girl: Okay, let me check.
I go to the computer and do some investigating only to find that he and his roommate checked out that morning.
Working Girl: I don't have anyone in that room.
Jailbait: What!!?!?!? My boyfriend is staying here! Craig!
Working Girl: It looks like Craig checked out this morning.
Jailbait: There has to be some mistake. Why wouldn't he tell me that? Did he move?
Working Girl: Well he checked out soooo no. He's just gone. Have a nice day though.
Then she left in a big huff. She came back the next day to see if he left anything for her but sadly she was let down.
Later that evening, his ship mates, who were still staying, were sitting in the lobby talking about Craig, Jailbait and their strange relationship. They laughed about it and they laughed at her expense. At some point we all were laughing. I guess that's what she gets for being one of those girls.
You Can Look but Don't Touch
This post isn't too long because it surrounds one central theme: touching. Not touching in a sexual way, or even a sensual way, the kind of touching that makes you slightly cock your head to right, squint your eyes and scrunch up your nose. You're confused, I'm confused and the entire situation is awkward because you don't know how to leave shit alone.
I've talked about the "adults" that stay at the hotel and the fact that their thinking is ass backwards but this is when it just gets out of hand. I've had this scenario happen one too many times:
I'm standing at the front desk engaged in a conversation with another guest or a front desk agent, and then a guest who just uses the lobby bathroom comes up to me.
Toucher: I found this in the bathroom. I don't know what it is but here you go.
Working Girl: Thanks but it's a door stop.
Toucher: Oh. I didn't know.
Then the toucher walks away.
Here are my problems with this (in list form):
1. Why are you touching anything on the floor of a public bathroom?
2. What else would it be? It looks like a door stop, there aren't any missing parts to the toilet and sink in the bathroom so what else could it possibly be?
3. Did you think you were being helpful by putting something in my bare hands from your bare hands that you picked up on the floor of a public bathroom?
4. Since you now know what it is, GO PUT IT BACK!
5. Don't do that shit anymore.
I understand that there was some good in that task, they were trying to be helpful. It could've been something another guest lost, or a safety concern. But that's gross. Didn't your parents ever tell you not to pick up things off the ground? Let alone in a public bathroom. I don't even touch the toilet handle in a public bathroom with my hands. Was it necessary to bring it to me? Why couldn't you just bring it to my attention? There are so many questions and no logical answers.
I can count how many times this has happened on both hands and feet. Maybe the doorstop doesn't look like a door stop (even though it 100% does) but there is still no need to touch it. It makes me wonder what else I could plant in that bathroom just to see if they would touch it. A dirty needle perhaps? An Easter egg? The possibilities are endless.
I've talked about the "adults" that stay at the hotel and the fact that their thinking is ass backwards but this is when it just gets out of hand. I've had this scenario happen one too many times:
I'm standing at the front desk engaged in a conversation with another guest or a front desk agent, and then a guest who just uses the lobby bathroom comes up to me.
Toucher: I found this in the bathroom. I don't know what it is but here you go.
Working Girl: Thanks but it's a door stop.
Toucher: Oh. I didn't know.
Then the toucher walks away.
Here are my problems with this (in list form):
1. Why are you touching anything on the floor of a public bathroom?
2. What else would it be? It looks like a door stop, there aren't any missing parts to the toilet and sink in the bathroom so what else could it possibly be?
3. Did you think you were being helpful by putting something in my bare hands from your bare hands that you picked up on the floor of a public bathroom?
4. Since you now know what it is, GO PUT IT BACK!
5. Don't do that shit anymore.
I understand that there was some good in that task, they were trying to be helpful. It could've been something another guest lost, or a safety concern. But that's gross. Didn't your parents ever tell you not to pick up things off the ground? Let alone in a public bathroom. I don't even touch the toilet handle in a public bathroom with my hands. Was it necessary to bring it to me? Why couldn't you just bring it to my attention? There are so many questions and no logical answers.
I can count how many times this has happened on both hands and feet. Maybe the doorstop doesn't look like a door stop (even though it 100% does) but there is still no need to touch it. It makes me wonder what else I could plant in that bathroom just to see if they would touch it. A dirty needle perhaps? An Easter egg? The possibilities are endless.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Why Would You Steal That?
I'll say it again, I don't condone stealing, it's pretty stupid but the things that people steal from my jobs are so...not worth it.
Software Bandit
At the office supply store there was a software section. One day this tall man wearing a black hat, black shirt, black jeans and sunglasses came into the store with a backpack. He wasn't really noticed because everyone was busy doing their own thing and about three minutes into his store visit, Mr. Budweiser yelled "Stop that guy!" Apparently he was in the software aisle taking the software off of the shelves and stuffing it into his back pack. When Mr. Budweiser, being an idiot, yelled that out, the guy took off running out the store with Mr. Budweiser chasing behind him only to get winded when he reached the parking lot. Obviously software is expensive and therefore a big ticket item. Because software is expensive, the software worth taking was locked away. The guy ended up stealing Spongebob and Dora the Explorer learning software valued at $10 bucks. Not only was that a waste of time, he would've gone down as one of the dumbest criminals in the store's history.
Inside Job
After I switched to the other office supply store, there was a situation that happened in store. I wasn't working that day but I was told that what happened must've been an inside job. All of the display cameras were stolen. You know when you go to a store with a tech section and all of the display items are connected to a chain/wire so that you can't just pull them and run? It was the same set up. There is no way someone came in from outside to take them because if they were standing by the cameras and trying to cut the wire with scissors or any other mechanism, they would've been caught. It had to have been someone who worked there who had the keys to the chains to take them off. Now I wonder, if you have keys to important merchandise in the store, why would you steal display cameras? The cameras that are never charged, have no memory and are programmed to be display cameras? That is what you steal? Not the cameras that come in boxes with all of the equipment but the display cameras...really?
Comfy Merchandise
Stealing from a hotel is common. People always think they are stealing when they take the soaps and shampoos from the room but in all actuality, that shit is yours to keep. We don't want it after you've touched it. But we would rather deal with the people who take soap and shampoo as opposed to pillows. Each room used to have a small decorative pillow with the hotel's symbol on it and people used to love to steal it. It was a pillow that was too small to be useful to anyone and when the housekeepers would come in to clean the room and see that it was missing THEY WOULD BE CHARGED! We know when something is missing. Did you really think you weren't going to be charged for a pillow that mysteriously vanished? That's not even really stealing, it is purchasing an item. We probably would've charged you less if you just came up to the front desk and asked to buy one.
Changes Need To Be Made
This item that people would steal from the hotel room was always surprising to me because it was just so stupid. This wasn't a one of a kind item that you couldn't get anywhere else, actually it was an item that you could get EVERYWHERE else: Batteries. People would constantly steal the batteries from the TV remotes in the rooms. It got to a point where we had to screw on the back of the remote so that it would stop happening. Batteries? You come to a hotel and steal batteries? That's like "stealing" the room keys. Why? Why would you steal USED batteries? CHEAP, used batteries? TWO cheap, used batteries? Does that make you feel like a stone cold bad ass? It still boggles my mind. BATTERIES!?
Software Bandit
At the office supply store there was a software section. One day this tall man wearing a black hat, black shirt, black jeans and sunglasses came into the store with a backpack. He wasn't really noticed because everyone was busy doing their own thing and about three minutes into his store visit, Mr. Budweiser yelled "Stop that guy!" Apparently he was in the software aisle taking the software off of the shelves and stuffing it into his back pack. When Mr. Budweiser, being an idiot, yelled that out, the guy took off running out the store with Mr. Budweiser chasing behind him only to get winded when he reached the parking lot. Obviously software is expensive and therefore a big ticket item. Because software is expensive, the software worth taking was locked away. The guy ended up stealing Spongebob and Dora the Explorer learning software valued at $10 bucks. Not only was that a waste of time, he would've gone down as one of the dumbest criminals in the store's history.
Inside Job
After I switched to the other office supply store, there was a situation that happened in store. I wasn't working that day but I was told that what happened must've been an inside job. All of the display cameras were stolen. You know when you go to a store with a tech section and all of the display items are connected to a chain/wire so that you can't just pull them and run? It was the same set up. There is no way someone came in from outside to take them because if they were standing by the cameras and trying to cut the wire with scissors or any other mechanism, they would've been caught. It had to have been someone who worked there who had the keys to the chains to take them off. Now I wonder, if you have keys to important merchandise in the store, why would you steal display cameras? The cameras that are never charged, have no memory and are programmed to be display cameras? That is what you steal? Not the cameras that come in boxes with all of the equipment but the display cameras...really?
Comfy Merchandise
Stealing from a hotel is common. People always think they are stealing when they take the soaps and shampoos from the room but in all actuality, that shit is yours to keep. We don't want it after you've touched it. But we would rather deal with the people who take soap and shampoo as opposed to pillows. Each room used to have a small decorative pillow with the hotel's symbol on it and people used to love to steal it. It was a pillow that was too small to be useful to anyone and when the housekeepers would come in to clean the room and see that it was missing THEY WOULD BE CHARGED! We know when something is missing. Did you really think you weren't going to be charged for a pillow that mysteriously vanished? That's not even really stealing, it is purchasing an item. We probably would've charged you less if you just came up to the front desk and asked to buy one.
Changes Need To Be Made
This item that people would steal from the hotel room was always surprising to me because it was just so stupid. This wasn't a one of a kind item that you couldn't get anywhere else, actually it was an item that you could get EVERYWHERE else: Batteries. People would constantly steal the batteries from the TV remotes in the rooms. It got to a point where we had to screw on the back of the remote so that it would stop happening. Batteries? You come to a hotel and steal batteries? That's like "stealing" the room keys. Why? Why would you steal USED batteries? CHEAP, used batteries? TWO cheap, used batteries? Does that make you feel like a stone cold bad ass? It still boggles my mind. BATTERIES!?
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Scam Artists
It takes both balls and stupidity to do what these people do. They have perfected the art of the scam by creating completely different lives for themselves.
The idea of a hotel is simple:
1. You rent a room
2. You pay for that room
3. You leave that room.
It's really not difficult but scam artists always find a way to do steps one and three without ever doing step two. This is how the scam artist does it:
They walk into a hotel, normally at night, and ask how much the rooms are. They are told the price and say "Okay, I'll get a room." They have the person at the front desk create a reservation and when they go to swipe their card, it declines. They attempt to "call the bank," and someone talking extremely fast tells the guest to give the phone to the person at the front desk. They then ask the front desk person all types of meaningless questions and tell them to manually authorize the card. Once the card is manually authorized the theif takes their keys and goes up to their room satisfied.
The red flags to tell if you are facing a scam artist are:
1. They work at night. I've never dealt with a daytime scam artist.
2. They are okay with the price of the room. I've had athletes, businessmen and other hotel owners ask me for a discount. No one ever just pays the regular rate.
3. They have a sob story that is vague like "I've had such an awful and horrible day. I really need this day to end so I'm gonna get a hotel room."
4. The card declines when you swipe it. There is no way that the card would decline if there was money in the bank.
5. They call the bank multiple times using the hotels phone number but it never goes through. Though when they call the bank using their own personal cell phone, the number dials normally.
6. The questions asked by the banker are useless.
7. A manual authorization is any succession of numbers. A manual authorization code could be 12345 and it will say "successfull."
I've seen plenty of people try this. I always tell them I can't do it. My coworker TT Y'all put it best:
"What are you manually authorizing? There ain't shit to authorize! No money equals no authorization equals no hotel room. Now take your ass up outta here"
This has worked only twice at my hotel. Once when a clueless/not giving a shit employee did it because she didn't know what else to do and another time that was so ridiculous it could've been on TV.
As I said before, I only worked at the hotel 2 days a week when I was in college. A lot would happen between my last shift one week and my first shift the next. I had a guy come up to me and he told me he was already staying at the hotel but needed another room for a friend. I went about the regular procedure of creating a reservation and going to swipe his card. It declined. I told him it declined and without providing me with another form of payment, he was not going to get another room.
Scammer: Oh, just force authorize it.
Working Girl: I don't do that.
Scammer: The girl did it earlier.
I called my friend/coworker, who worked the shift before mine, to see what was up. She confirmed it and said the manager told her it was okay.
I went ahead and did it and told him that this was very strange and never in the two years that I had worked there had I ever seen anyone force/manually authorize a credit card. I asked why that was necessary.
Scammer: Oh well I'm a music producer and this is a company card. The label puts a daily limit on the card. I spent alot earlier when I took my artists to the cannabis club. They bought so much stuff, all on the card. I must've hit my limit.
That damn sure didn't make sense to me, but who was I to go against the manager's word. It got to a point where through all the force/manual authorizations during the WEEKS that they stayed there, these people had four rooms. None of which were actually being paid for.
When the owner got hip to it the cops were called. There is surveillance footage of this group of "musicians and producers" gathering all of their shit and running out the back door.
The scene was ridiculous and fishy. I only ever force/manually authorized his card once. Any other time he tried I told him we were sold out and he couldn't get any more rooms. I was uncomfortable with it and quickly enough, so was the rest of the staff.
When a guest says they need to "call their bank" you should just say "I don't manually authorize anything so if the person on the phone asks me to do so I cannot and will not." They then get the idea that it's not going down. And with the information you have on them, you should probably call the cops.
Fool me once shame you, fool me twice...
TT Y'all: Motherfucker you better get the fuck outta here with that force authorizing shit.
The idea of a hotel is simple:
1. You rent a room
2. You pay for that room
3. You leave that room.
It's really not difficult but scam artists always find a way to do steps one and three without ever doing step two. This is how the scam artist does it:
They walk into a hotel, normally at night, and ask how much the rooms are. They are told the price and say "Okay, I'll get a room." They have the person at the front desk create a reservation and when they go to swipe their card, it declines. They attempt to "call the bank," and someone talking extremely fast tells the guest to give the phone to the person at the front desk. They then ask the front desk person all types of meaningless questions and tell them to manually authorize the card. Once the card is manually authorized the theif takes their keys and goes up to their room satisfied.
The red flags to tell if you are facing a scam artist are:
1. They work at night. I've never dealt with a daytime scam artist.
2. They are okay with the price of the room. I've had athletes, businessmen and other hotel owners ask me for a discount. No one ever just pays the regular rate.
3. They have a sob story that is vague like "I've had such an awful and horrible day. I really need this day to end so I'm gonna get a hotel room."
4. The card declines when you swipe it. There is no way that the card would decline if there was money in the bank.
5. They call the bank multiple times using the hotels phone number but it never goes through. Though when they call the bank using their own personal cell phone, the number dials normally.
6. The questions asked by the banker are useless.
7. A manual authorization is any succession of numbers. A manual authorization code could be 12345 and it will say "successfull."
I've seen plenty of people try this. I always tell them I can't do it. My coworker TT Y'all put it best:
"What are you manually authorizing? There ain't shit to authorize! No money equals no authorization equals no hotel room. Now take your ass up outta here"
This has worked only twice at my hotel. Once when a clueless/not giving a shit employee did it because she didn't know what else to do and another time that was so ridiculous it could've been on TV.
As I said before, I only worked at the hotel 2 days a week when I was in college. A lot would happen between my last shift one week and my first shift the next. I had a guy come up to me and he told me he was already staying at the hotel but needed another room for a friend. I went about the regular procedure of creating a reservation and going to swipe his card. It declined. I told him it declined and without providing me with another form of payment, he was not going to get another room.
Scammer: Oh, just force authorize it.
Working Girl: I don't do that.
Scammer: The girl did it earlier.
I called my friend/coworker, who worked the shift before mine, to see what was up. She confirmed it and said the manager told her it was okay.
I went ahead and did it and told him that this was very strange and never in the two years that I had worked there had I ever seen anyone force/manually authorize a credit card. I asked why that was necessary.
Scammer: Oh well I'm a music producer and this is a company card. The label puts a daily limit on the card. I spent alot earlier when I took my artists to the cannabis club. They bought so much stuff, all on the card. I must've hit my limit.
That damn sure didn't make sense to me, but who was I to go against the manager's word. It got to a point where through all the force/manual authorizations during the WEEKS that they stayed there, these people had four rooms. None of which were actually being paid for.
When the owner got hip to it the cops were called. There is surveillance footage of this group of "musicians and producers" gathering all of their shit and running out the back door.
The scene was ridiculous and fishy. I only ever force/manually authorized his card once. Any other time he tried I told him we were sold out and he couldn't get any more rooms. I was uncomfortable with it and quickly enough, so was the rest of the staff.
When a guest says they need to "call their bank" you should just say "I don't manually authorize anything so if the person on the phone asks me to do so I cannot and will not." They then get the idea that it's not going down. And with the information you have on them, you should probably call the cops.
Fool me once shame you, fool me twice...
TT Y'all: Motherfucker you better get the fuck outta here with that force authorizing shit.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Brand New
If there is ever one thing that seems to be a constant in the world of customer service is the fact that there is always a customer who either truly is or acts as if they are brand new to the situation. What I mean by this is, they come in and are immediately confused. They don't know what's going on, what this place is or how they got there. They are a brand new baby in the world of office supplies and vacation lodging.
This was inspired by a recent trip to Panera Bread. I patron Panera bread all the time and if you have never been there let me break it down to you: It is a restaurant/cafe. The menu is in front of your face hanging on the wall and they have very basic choices: sandwich, soup, salad and bread. This guy went to Panera to order a breakfast sandwich and this was the exchange he had with the the employee:
Guy: I want a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich
Employee: Okay, would you like that on Ciabatta?
Guy: What's that?
Employee: It is a type of bread.
Guy: I don't want to eat anything if I don't know what it is.
Employee: Okay that's fine. I can put it on anything. Maybe on a bagel if you want?
Guy: What's a bagel?
I could see the frustration on this poor woman's face but she couldn't just throw her hands up and say "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" I felt her pain. It has happened to me way too many times at work. It's almost a weekly thing but again, some are more memorable than the others.
Customer Service
The copy center had its own section with a counter. Above that section was the name of the copy center. People always mistook the copy center for customer service but when you would explain that fact to them they would catch an attitude.
Woman: Hi, I'd like to return this.
Working Girl: No problem. You just have to take that over to customer service.
Woman: Yeah I know, that's why I'm here.
Working Girl: Oh! This isn't customer service. It's the copy center. Customer service is right over there.
Woman: This looks like customer service.
Working Girl: We get that a lot because of the counter and the large space behind here, but this is the copy center.
Woman: I need to return this item and I know I'm at customer service.
Working Girl: Only customer service computers have the technology for returns. If I could I would but I can't. You have to walk over to customer service.
The lady picks up her merchandise than says to me before she walks out of the door:
"I don't know why you call it customer service if you aren't going to service your customers!"
But....Why?
The idea of being absolutely clueless is perfected by hotel guests. If I had a dollar for every guest that stood by the door of the Spa and asked me "Where's the spa?" I would have 8 million dollars. They are obviously old enough to get a hotel room but yet upon check in they revert to infants who just don't understand.
Confirmation Situation
Guest: Hi, I'd like to check in.
Working Girl: Sure. What's your last name?
Guest: 7-6-9-3-6-1-4-9-0...
Working Girl: Oh, no. I need your last name.
Guest: That's my confirmation number.
Working Girl: I figured that out. But I need your last name.
Guest: Oh...
Side Note: Don't wave your confirmation number in our faces, don't yell out the number to us, don't call and after I say "How may I help you?" you start spitting out numbers as if I was ready to type them in the first damn place. If you're not completely brain dead and have some sort of idea what your last name is, that's all I need. There is no need to scream numbers at me or tell me the company you're with. Just the fact that you happen to know your own name will suffice.
Credit Card Roulette
This is the biggest problem I have with guests. They think they can pay for something without showing a form of payment. I understand there are scary things such as identity theft and people with a photographic memory but I need to see your credit card. Don't tell me "Well I made this reservation online." because at that point I have to make you look stupid and teach you how financial consumerism works. You don't walk into a store to purchase something and when they ask for payment you say "Why?" you just give them paper or plastic. Think of a hotel as a store. We may not provide you nutrition but we can decide whether or not your ass sleeps outside.
Dumb Guest: Hi, I'd like to check in.
Working Girl: Okay. Your last name?
Dumb Guest: Last Name.
Working Girl: Alright. I just need to see your credit card and ID.
Dumb Guest: Why do you need to see my credit card?
Working Girl: So that you can pay for your hotel room.
Dumb Guest: Well I called the reservation line to make it.
Working Girl: That's nice. Did they charge you already?
Dumb Guest: No.
Working Girl: Well then I need to do so by using your credit card.
Dumb Guest: Oh...
These moments and the millions of others led me to feel what that Panera Bread employee felt: The disappointment in not being able to shake some sense into the person in front of you.
This was inspired by a recent trip to Panera Bread. I patron Panera bread all the time and if you have never been there let me break it down to you: It is a restaurant/cafe. The menu is in front of your face hanging on the wall and they have very basic choices: sandwich, soup, salad and bread. This guy went to Panera to order a breakfast sandwich and this was the exchange he had with the the employee:
Guy: I want a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich
Employee: Okay, would you like that on Ciabatta?
Guy: What's that?
Employee: It is a type of bread.
Guy: I don't want to eat anything if I don't know what it is.
Employee: Okay that's fine. I can put it on anything. Maybe on a bagel if you want?
Guy: What's a bagel?
I could see the frustration on this poor woman's face but she couldn't just throw her hands up and say "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" I felt her pain. It has happened to me way too many times at work. It's almost a weekly thing but again, some are more memorable than the others.
Customer Service
The copy center had its own section with a counter. Above that section was the name of the copy center. People always mistook the copy center for customer service but when you would explain that fact to them they would catch an attitude.
Woman: Hi, I'd like to return this.
Working Girl: No problem. You just have to take that over to customer service.
Woman: Yeah I know, that's why I'm here.
Working Girl: Oh! This isn't customer service. It's the copy center. Customer service is right over there.
Woman: This looks like customer service.
Working Girl: We get that a lot because of the counter and the large space behind here, but this is the copy center.
Woman: I need to return this item and I know I'm at customer service.
Working Girl: Only customer service computers have the technology for returns. If I could I would but I can't. You have to walk over to customer service.
The lady picks up her merchandise than says to me before she walks out of the door:
"I don't know why you call it customer service if you aren't going to service your customers!"
But....Why?
The idea of being absolutely clueless is perfected by hotel guests. If I had a dollar for every guest that stood by the door of the Spa and asked me "Where's the spa?" I would have 8 million dollars. They are obviously old enough to get a hotel room but yet upon check in they revert to infants who just don't understand.
Confirmation Situation
Guest: Hi, I'd like to check in.
Working Girl: Sure. What's your last name?
Guest: 7-6-9-3-6-1-4-9-0...
Working Girl: Oh, no. I need your last name.
Guest: That's my confirmation number.
Working Girl: I figured that out. But I need your last name.
Guest: Oh...
Side Note: Don't wave your confirmation number in our faces, don't yell out the number to us, don't call and after I say "How may I help you?" you start spitting out numbers as if I was ready to type them in the first damn place. If you're not completely brain dead and have some sort of idea what your last name is, that's all I need. There is no need to scream numbers at me or tell me the company you're with. Just the fact that you happen to know your own name will suffice.
Credit Card Roulette
This is the biggest problem I have with guests. They think they can pay for something without showing a form of payment. I understand there are scary things such as identity theft and people with a photographic memory but I need to see your credit card. Don't tell me "Well I made this reservation online." because at that point I have to make you look stupid and teach you how financial consumerism works. You don't walk into a store to purchase something and when they ask for payment you say "Why?" you just give them paper or plastic. Think of a hotel as a store. We may not provide you nutrition but we can decide whether or not your ass sleeps outside.
Dumb Guest: Hi, I'd like to check in.
Working Girl: Okay. Your last name?
Dumb Guest: Last Name.
Working Girl: Alright. I just need to see your credit card and ID.
Dumb Guest: Why do you need to see my credit card?
Working Girl: So that you can pay for your hotel room.
Dumb Guest: Well I called the reservation line to make it.
Working Girl: That's nice. Did they charge you already?
Dumb Guest: No.
Working Girl: Well then I need to do so by using your credit card.
Dumb Guest: Oh...
These moments and the millions of others led me to feel what that Panera Bread employee felt: The disappointment in not being able to shake some sense into the person in front of you.
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