J.B. and Kristin

I got my first job when I was 19. For a large well known corporation of which I'm not sure I can state the name because I'm about to talk a lot shit in these posts. Either way, it was a well known corporation that specifically sold office supplies (if you don't know what that is then I just can't help you).

There was a manager there, J.B., who was my age but pretended to be wise beyond his years. The best word to describe him would be: Creep. He is tall, unattractively skinny and smelled like must. Showering and deodorant weren't his thing. He was in a "long term relationship" with his high school sweetheart who, for lack of a better phrase, was dumb as rocks.

J.B. always took a liking to all of the new hires...especially the girls. During my time working with J.B. there was not a female new hire that he didn't attempt to have sex with or actually have sex with. Due to his girlfriend being highly insecure she was constantly around him, except when he was at work. She wasn't allowed to be in the store because she would follow him around like a puppy and shy away from anyone who would speak to her (I once said hello to her and she jumped back a good 3 feet). J.B. knew that Kayla (his girlfriend) was in love with him and always wanted to be around him so being the good person that he is, he only cheated on her with coworkers at work.

Kristin

She was the first and most interesting of the girls who couldn't resist the extremely dapper and and extremely musty J.B. She was rather eccentric. She was, just like J.B., in a long term relationship. She was engaged to her boyfriend who was in the military.

 She always stayed late to help J.B. close the store. She was the only person who was allowed in the cash office when he was the closing manager, and for some reason the door was always closed and the music coming from the cash office was always loud.

I remember the exact moment when I realized they were making the beast with two backs. I worked at the copy station in the store. There was a design that a customer had blown up to poster size laying on the counter. She fawned over it. 

Kristin: I love this. I want this as a tattoo
Working Girl: You would get a random design tattooed on your body?
Kristin: Oh yeah! I think it's beautiful and I don't take tattoos too seriously.
Working Girl: It's a permanent marking on your body
J.B. (as he was walking by): She has sperm tattooed on her.
Working Girl: WHAT!?
J.B.: She has sperm tattooed right above her vagina. They're really cute.
Working Girl: How do you know that?
J.B.: Um...she told me.
Working Girl: How do you know whether or not they are cute?
J.B. (sweating): Uh... why are we just standing around? Get your asses back to work.

Both J.B. and Kristin scurried off. They didn't speak again until later that night when Kristin told the rest of the closing crew that we could leave and she would help close the store with J.B.

Kristin was fired a few weeks after that for something completely unrelated to being a whore. She was never heard from again. It's too bad, I think Kristin and J.B. were better for each other than their significant others. They were both strange, they both shared similar interests, they both had no problem showing their no-no parts to strangers almost immediately and they both put hygiene on the back burner.

That wasn't the last time J.B.'s office affairs spilled out, it was actually the least exciting. The biggest and best one had yet to come...

I know what you're thinking...

...and no, I'm not a prostitute. I have personally gone back and forth about the name of my blog, "Working Girl." It was the best fit for me. Unfortunately all of the stories that I tell surround my jobs. Whether they are funny or just downright ridiculous, they are all of my personal experiences while at work.

My job is not glamorous, but the jobs that I've had have all allowed me to come in contact with some interesting 'characters.' Most of the stories that I tell will make you laugh. A few of the stories that I tell will disgust you. There may even be a few stories that bore you (but for those of you that are bored by my stories you can get the hell outta here).

Enjoy!