This post is all about Vicki Lawrence. She was a frequent customer at the copy center. Her thought process always intrigued me simply because it was ass backwards. She was a very nice lady but a little delusional at times.
The first thing I remember about Vicki Lawrence was her business cards. She was a private realtor, meaning that she didn't have a company backing her. She found and sold listings all on her own. It was really interesting that she was able to compete with the companies that had hundreds of realtors on their payroll.
In order to stand out from the same old realtors, she thought she had to make her business cards special. A normal business card for a realtor has their contact info, their company and a small picture of them on the right hand corner. Vicki Lawrence thought that was not enough. She of course put in all the necessary contact information but instead of a small picture, the entire background of her business card would be a picture of her sitting on what looked like a throne and draped in fur. Neither my manager nor I could understand why she wanted this. Not only did the words cover most of the picture, the picture made it hard to read the contact information.
It took a lot of patience to deal with Vicki Lawrence only because she constantly had ideas similar to that one. She would come in to get her fliers designed. There were only two people who could do design, my manager and myself. My manager didn't work weekends so it was up to me on Saturday and Sunday. She never really wanted the layout of her fliers to change but she liked really bold colors. The colors she wanted either didn't exist in the world of graphic design or they were too hard to pin point.
Vicki Lawrence: I want the background to be red, but not circus red. I like blood red. But not the blood red that you see women wear as nail polish the blood red in those bags at the hospital.
WHAT!?
One of the funniest things I found about Vicki Lawrence was her man candy. She was an older woman. She was probably in her late 50's but her makeup was always so heavy and smeared that it made her look older. Her boyfriend was probably 38 at the oldest. During their first few visits I thought he was her son but then one day she perched out her lips for a passionate (and slightly awkward) kiss from him. By the look of things you would think he was trying to get her money but he seemed like he genuinely loved her. He was a very nice guy and one of the first customers to confront Mr. Budweiser about his treatment of me and the rest of the employees. We figured there was no physical attraction from him to her but their personalities seemed to mesh well.
Vicki Lawrence will always leave a lasting impression on me because of the way she thanked people. Sometimes she was messy, and with her mess came procrastination. Often times she would come in right before she had an open house to get her fliers made and printed. She knew that because we had to drop everything we were doing just for her, we were owed something. Just like any other older woman, she would pay us off in the most random of ways. She would give my manager $3.63 gift cards to Starbucks and other stores for other crazy amounts. My biggest pay off from her was in the form of a fur coat. Though it wasn't the infamous fur coat from the business cards, it was a reversible fur coat in which one side was leather and the other was fur. Don't be jealous.
I still have the coat and therefore I still have the memories of the crazy but interesting Vicki Lawrence.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Suburban Gangster
Sometimes I interact with people at work and my thought process changes. These people don't effect my life nor do they change me as a person but they definitely make me think.
I've grown up in a small Bay Area town. People who are from the Bay Area don't know about this town. It is a very quiet and safe place where you almost beg for something interesting and newsworthy to happen. Unfortunately not all news is good news and when my town is hit with bad news, everyones world is rocked. You would think that living so close to America's third most dangerous city, the citizens of the town wouldn't blink when they hear about another senseless murder. It's different when it happens in our town, no one believes it should happen in our town.
There was a murder of a boy my age a few years ago. There are a lot of stories surrounding his death but the gist of it is that it was over a girl. I didn't know the boy personally but from my knowledge he was a white guy who was greatly influenced by Hip-Hop culture in regards to the way he spoke and dressed. He was apparently killed over an argument with a guy who was dating a girl he liked. The only thing I heard about it was summed up with a simple phrase; If you pretend to be a gangster, you'll get gangster consequences.
Because I didn't know him I wasn't really effected by it, it was definitely sad but I was still getting up to work and go to school every day. It finally became real to me during December 2008.
The copy station at the office supply store made calendars during the holiday season. It was always a big hit and a great, easy Christmas gift. Due to the fact that they were so popular we always were busy. Though business was good, organization wasn't. People were getting their calendars randomly. Some people waited 2 days and some people waited 2 weeks. My manager was really stressed out about it and most of her stress came from one customer. This woman wanted three separate calendars made and 2 copies of each calendar. She had been waiting and stressing. My manager finally finished making the calendars only to find that they were made for the wrong year. This made the customer wait even longer and made her extremely upset.
My manager got off work and I was left to fix the calendar. That same day, the customer came in. She was very nice but visibly stressed out. She had been waiting for the calendars for three weeks and therefore her family pictures, the only pictures she had, were in our hands.
Side Note: To make a calendar, we needed pictures. It's easier to make a calendar when the pictures are all digital and come on a flash drive but the best calendars are always real pictures that have to be scanned and therefore, have to be left with us. Leaving precious family mementos with strangers can be stressful for anyone.
Woman: I came to check on my calendars.
Working Girl: I am almost done. I am just binding them now.
Woman: Okay. Do you mind if I wait here?
Working Girl: Not at all.
She waits for another five minutes for me to finish up. I finish and bring the calendars and her pictures over to her. She immediately becomes emotional.
Woman (with a knot in her throat): They are beautiful. Thank you so much. I was so afraid.
Working Girl: No problem but afraid of what?
Woman: Well the manager had said that it was taking longer than expected and I thought that maybe the pictures had gotten misplaced and no one wanted to tell me that. I don't know what I would have done if I lost any of these pictures.
Working Girl: They are very nice pictures. And each of your calendars seem to have a central theme surrounding this guy.
Woman: Oh that's my son. It's been so hard and I thought that maybe these calendars would be good to give to the family to help us grieve. These are the pictures of what and who he truly was. Not what he became and not what people think they knew about him.
I had done hundreds of calendars at that point and not once did I ever truly look at them. I of course checked them for quality control but I never thought about the contents. It dawned on me that this woman had just lost her son. The boy who had been killed months earlier who I knew nothing about and was told that he was a suburban gangster who "got what he deserved," was her son. He was someones son. He was someones brother. He was someones friend.
I spent the next 30 minutes talking to this woman about her son. I got to know him without ever meeting him and my opinion was changed about him. It is rare that an interaction that I have at work resonates with me for years afterwards.
I'll never forget that conversation and the opinions I had after it. I'll especially remember when she told me "I wish my son could've met you. You're working and going to school and he was getting his life on track to do the same." I often think about this woman and her family and hope that time has helped to heal that wound.
I've grown up in a small Bay Area town. People who are from the Bay Area don't know about this town. It is a very quiet and safe place where you almost beg for something interesting and newsworthy to happen. Unfortunately not all news is good news and when my town is hit with bad news, everyones world is rocked. You would think that living so close to America's third most dangerous city, the citizens of the town wouldn't blink when they hear about another senseless murder. It's different when it happens in our town, no one believes it should happen in our town.
There was a murder of a boy my age a few years ago. There are a lot of stories surrounding his death but the gist of it is that it was over a girl. I didn't know the boy personally but from my knowledge he was a white guy who was greatly influenced by Hip-Hop culture in regards to the way he spoke and dressed. He was apparently killed over an argument with a guy who was dating a girl he liked. The only thing I heard about it was summed up with a simple phrase; If you pretend to be a gangster, you'll get gangster consequences.
Because I didn't know him I wasn't really effected by it, it was definitely sad but I was still getting up to work and go to school every day. It finally became real to me during December 2008.
The copy station at the office supply store made calendars during the holiday season. It was always a big hit and a great, easy Christmas gift. Due to the fact that they were so popular we always were busy. Though business was good, organization wasn't. People were getting their calendars randomly. Some people waited 2 days and some people waited 2 weeks. My manager was really stressed out about it and most of her stress came from one customer. This woman wanted three separate calendars made and 2 copies of each calendar. She had been waiting and stressing. My manager finally finished making the calendars only to find that they were made for the wrong year. This made the customer wait even longer and made her extremely upset.
My manager got off work and I was left to fix the calendar. That same day, the customer came in. She was very nice but visibly stressed out. She had been waiting for the calendars for three weeks and therefore her family pictures, the only pictures she had, were in our hands.
Side Note: To make a calendar, we needed pictures. It's easier to make a calendar when the pictures are all digital and come on a flash drive but the best calendars are always real pictures that have to be scanned and therefore, have to be left with us. Leaving precious family mementos with strangers can be stressful for anyone.
Woman: I came to check on my calendars.
Working Girl: I am almost done. I am just binding them now.
Woman: Okay. Do you mind if I wait here?
Working Girl: Not at all.
She waits for another five minutes for me to finish up. I finish and bring the calendars and her pictures over to her. She immediately becomes emotional.
Woman (with a knot in her throat): They are beautiful. Thank you so much. I was so afraid.
Working Girl: No problem but afraid of what?
Woman: Well the manager had said that it was taking longer than expected and I thought that maybe the pictures had gotten misplaced and no one wanted to tell me that. I don't know what I would have done if I lost any of these pictures.
Working Girl: They are very nice pictures. And each of your calendars seem to have a central theme surrounding this guy.
Woman: Oh that's my son. It's been so hard and I thought that maybe these calendars would be good to give to the family to help us grieve. These are the pictures of what and who he truly was. Not what he became and not what people think they knew about him.
I had done hundreds of calendars at that point and not once did I ever truly look at them. I of course checked them for quality control but I never thought about the contents. It dawned on me that this woman had just lost her son. The boy who had been killed months earlier who I knew nothing about and was told that he was a suburban gangster who "got what he deserved," was her son. He was someones son. He was someones brother. He was someones friend.
I spent the next 30 minutes talking to this woman about her son. I got to know him without ever meeting him and my opinion was changed about him. It is rare that an interaction that I have at work resonates with me for years afterwards.
I'll never forget that conversation and the opinions I had after it. I'll especially remember when she told me "I wish my son could've met you. You're working and going to school and he was getting his life on track to do the same." I often think about this woman and her family and hope that time has helped to heal that wound.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
No Romance Package
This past Valentine's Day I was speaking to a few people about a Romance Package that we offer at the hotel. The Romance Package included wine and candy in a room with a jacuzzi. It is only a few dollars more than a regular room so I always thought it was a good deal.
I was a pro at selling romance packages. I got it down to a science. Whenever a man was dumb enough to bring his girlfriend into the hotel to get a room I would ask if they were interested in a Romance Package. If the guy was alone I know he would say no, but when his girlfriend is with him he almost has no choice.
Working Girl: I do have a king bed suite available at $129. For just $10 more you can get a Romance Package which includes wine, candy and a room with a Jacuzzi.
HornDog: Uh, no thanks. We're not interested.
LadyFriend: Not interested? I'm interested!
HornDog: Babe, we don't need that. We're not here for that.
LadyFriend: Well if you don't get a Romance Package we're going to be here for NOTHING.
HornDog (to me): Okay, we can upgrade to that Package.
I was selling about three of those a month. I worked the supreme banging hours so I perfected my skills in not only cock blocking but also in being a wing woman. You are definitely getting some lovin' if you spring for a Romance Package. I never had a guy say no to me when his girlfriend was with him. I'm pretty proud of that.
The best story regarding Romance Packages was Valentine's Day 2010. It is extremely easy to sell a Romance Package on Valentine's Day no matter what day of the week it is. This young guy took the initiative to get a Romance Package after reading about it online. He and his girlfriend came in, checked in, went to their room and left soon after to grab some Valentine's Day necessities. They were the first people I checked in that day at 2:45pm.
At 3:30, an older couple walked in looking for a room. Due to the fact that it was Valentine's Day I mentioned we had a Romance Package.
Working Girl: Would you like to upgrade for $10 more to a suite that includes a Romance Package?
Woman: What's that?
Working Girl: A Romance Package comes with wine and candy along with a Jacuzzi in a king bed suite.
Woman (to her husband): Oh Honey that sounds fun. Let's do that!
Husband: Oh why the heck not? Sure. We'll take it.
They got checked in, got their romance package and went to their room. It was pretty quiet for a bit until around 5pm. The young couple was coming in from the parking lot, being very affectionate towards one another, when the older couple was coming around the corner giggling because they had gone straight to drinking their wine.
Young Girlfriend: MOM!? DAD!?
Woman a.k.a Mom: Oh! Hey Stacy! What are you doing here?
Young Girlfriend: Well...I...
Husband a.k.a Dad: Who is this with you?
Young Guy: Hello Sir, I'm Carlos. I'm Stacy's boyfriend.
Woman a.k.a. Mom: Oh! Stacy didn't tell us she had a boyfriend...
Husband a.k.a. Dad (not happily): ...That she was staying in a hotel with.
During this time Carlos is holding Stacy up so that her knees don't buckle from embarrassment. Apparently the apple doesn't fall far from the tree because Stacy and Carlos are just as secretive as Stacy's parents. Neither of them knew that they were going to be sneaking off to a hotel room and as a bonus Stacy's parents didn't know anything about her surprisingly tan boyfriend Carlos of whom she planned on spending a romantic night with in a hotel room.
As I stood at the front desk with my mouth wide open, the story got even better...
Woman a.k.a. Mom: You guys are staying here? What room?
Stacy: Um, 103.
Woman a.k.a. Mom: Well what a coincidence because we are in 101. That's right next door! Ha!
THEY BOTH HAD ROMANCE PACKAGES AND THEY WERE SHARING A WALL! My night could not have gotten any better. After the awkward moment and when the parents went to get dinner, Stacy asked me if they could switch rooms.
Working Girl: Unfortunately, I am 100% sold out. Your parents got our very last room.
I don't know if Stacy and Carlos actually got the chance to enjoy their Valentine's Day like any other young couple, but I do know that it was my best Valentine's day yet.
I was a pro at selling romance packages. I got it down to a science. Whenever a man was dumb enough to bring his girlfriend into the hotel to get a room I would ask if they were interested in a Romance Package. If the guy was alone I know he would say no, but when his girlfriend is with him he almost has no choice.
Working Girl: I do have a king bed suite available at $129. For just $10 more you can get a Romance Package which includes wine, candy and a room with a Jacuzzi.
HornDog: Uh, no thanks. We're not interested.
LadyFriend: Not interested? I'm interested!
HornDog: Babe, we don't need that. We're not here for that.
LadyFriend: Well if you don't get a Romance Package we're going to be here for NOTHING.
HornDog (to me): Okay, we can upgrade to that Package.
I was selling about three of those a month. I worked the supreme banging hours so I perfected my skills in not only cock blocking but also in being a wing woman. You are definitely getting some lovin' if you spring for a Romance Package. I never had a guy say no to me when his girlfriend was with him. I'm pretty proud of that.
The best story regarding Romance Packages was Valentine's Day 2010. It is extremely easy to sell a Romance Package on Valentine's Day no matter what day of the week it is. This young guy took the initiative to get a Romance Package after reading about it online. He and his girlfriend came in, checked in, went to their room and left soon after to grab some Valentine's Day necessities. They were the first people I checked in that day at 2:45pm.
At 3:30, an older couple walked in looking for a room. Due to the fact that it was Valentine's Day I mentioned we had a Romance Package.
Working Girl: Would you like to upgrade for $10 more to a suite that includes a Romance Package?
Woman: What's that?
Working Girl: A Romance Package comes with wine and candy along with a Jacuzzi in a king bed suite.
Woman (to her husband): Oh Honey that sounds fun. Let's do that!
Husband: Oh why the heck not? Sure. We'll take it.
They got checked in, got their romance package and went to their room. It was pretty quiet for a bit until around 5pm. The young couple was coming in from the parking lot, being very affectionate towards one another, when the older couple was coming around the corner giggling because they had gone straight to drinking their wine.
Young Girlfriend: MOM!? DAD!?
Woman a.k.a Mom: Oh! Hey Stacy! What are you doing here?
Young Girlfriend: Well...I...
Husband a.k.a Dad: Who is this with you?
Young Guy: Hello Sir, I'm Carlos. I'm Stacy's boyfriend.
Woman a.k.a. Mom: Oh! Stacy didn't tell us she had a boyfriend...
Husband a.k.a. Dad (not happily): ...That she was staying in a hotel with.
During this time Carlos is holding Stacy up so that her knees don't buckle from embarrassment. Apparently the apple doesn't fall far from the tree because Stacy and Carlos are just as secretive as Stacy's parents. Neither of them knew that they were going to be sneaking off to a hotel room and as a bonus Stacy's parents didn't know anything about her surprisingly tan boyfriend Carlos of whom she planned on spending a romantic night with in a hotel room.
As I stood at the front desk with my mouth wide open, the story got even better...
Woman a.k.a. Mom: You guys are staying here? What room?
Stacy: Um, 103.
Woman a.k.a. Mom: Well what a coincidence because we are in 101. That's right next door! Ha!
THEY BOTH HAD ROMANCE PACKAGES AND THEY WERE SHARING A WALL! My night could not have gotten any better. After the awkward moment and when the parents went to get dinner, Stacy asked me if they could switch rooms.
Working Girl: Unfortunately, I am 100% sold out. Your parents got our very last room.
I don't know if Stacy and Carlos actually got the chance to enjoy their Valentine's Day like any other young couple, but I do know that it was my best Valentine's day yet.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Celebrity "Encounters"
Having run-ins with celebrities was never expected from any of my jobs. It's pretty cool when it happens because it doesn't happen very often. At the end of the day we had to remember that we live in the Bay Area in which there are major sports teams, concert venues and a major tourist city so you are bound to run into a few people who have had their name in lights.
Something else that I've realized is that though they are technically famous, they have to run errands like everyone else which means they have to leave their house. I personally wish that I had more run ins with athletes because not only do I love sports but it would make a lot of sense. The Oakland Raiders and the Golden State Warriors opponents often stay in hotels in San Francisco and many of the players live there as well which is absolutely illogical. The Oakland Raiders practice facility is not in San Francisco, the Golden State Warriors practice facility is not in San Francisco and there is constant traffic going to and from San Francisco. Why put yourself through that? Why make a 30 minute trek when you can make a 10 minute one? I never understand it. I know teams fly into San Francisco Airport but staying in SF is more out of the way then all the places they need to be at during their time in the Bay Area.
Either way, one would think that I have seen plenty of famous people because I live in the Bay Area which is just not the case. The fact that I haven't gotten to rub elbows with the rich and famous on a consistent basis, it makes these stories even more memorable.
Potential Football Player/ Potential Husband
When I worked at the office supply store a guy would come in to get prints. He was tall, muscular and extremely good looking. He was a really nice, normal guy who could've taken up modeling as opposed to football. He was going through training camp for the Oakland Raiders. He came into the store a lot and every single time I stopped in my tracks. I know he never got to play for the Raiders (due to being cut just before the season started) but I acted like he was a 10 year veteran. It was really cool to be around someone who was so close to being on my favorite football team. He wasn't truly a celebrity but the way my eyes turned into hearts, similar to that of a cartoon character, you would've thought his posters were plastered on my bedroom walls.
Hip-Hop Legend
A rapper came into the hotel and booked a room. The entire time I'm thinking "Is that?... It looks like... But it can't be... Maybe I'm... Wouldn't his ID?" Apparently during that time I thought that your rap name had to be on your drivers license. He went to the room and shortly after came his wife.
Working Girl: Excuse me, um is that [Hip-Hop Legend]
Wife: Larry? Yes. That is. He's my husband. Are you a fan?
Working Girl: Who isn't? Wow. That's really cool.
Wife: I'll be right back.
Then she goes to the car and brings me his newest CD.
Wife: If you're here when we get back I'll make sure to have him sign it for you.
They left soon after that because he had a show in Oakland and they were headed to sound check. For the first time I was unhappy to leave work. I never got the autograph but I do have the CD. I was actually able to not only check in a Hip-Hop Legend but I got to talk to him, meet his wife and I got a little gift. It was a cool day.
Mr. Football and his personal cheerleader
This happened very recently. My friend/front desk agent, Banana, text me and told me that a football player had checked into the hotel; one from our favorite team and we immediately started freaking out. This was our text conversation:
Banana: So Oakland Raiders [Wide Receiver] just checked in. Kinda cool. I'm not all celebrity struck but he's a RAIDER!
Working Girl: That's weird! Copy that reg card!! Did you tell him you're a Raider fan? GET US SOME TICKETS!
Banana: He seemed super chill. I should've just been like 'I love you! You're awesome' but I was trying so hard to play it cool...I was soooo blushing.
Working Girl: Hahahaha! Own that shit! Chat him up when he comes out.
Banana: Hahahahahaha! He hella just walked right out...I'm like waiting for him to come back but I think he might have just paid for the room because once he left some female walked in that I haven't seen yet.
Working Girl: Dammmmmmmit! His mistress!!!!
That's when it dawned on us that Mr. Football was no different than any of our other guests who are here to house their hos. He just had a more famous name. But maybe that wasn't the case at all. Maybe he saw a homeless woman and thought to put her in a hotel for the night and... who am I kidding?
Time To Go
This is one of my favorite stories. One Saturday I was working and really early on into my shift a very handsome guy comes up to me.
Handsome Face: Hello
Working Girl: Hey There.
Handsome Face: Do y'all have any rooms?
Working Girl: Sure. One bed or two.
Handsome Face: Two. It's for these tattoo artists from Atlanta.
Working Girl: That's cool.
Handsome Face: You know Golden State Warriors [Shooting Guard].
Working Girl: Yeah.
Handsome Face: Well he's real tatted up, right? When he played in Atlanta he really liked this tattoo artist so he flies him in whenever he needs a new tattoo. I'm his cousin/assistant.
I had to pause. This guy was "shooting guard"s cousin. He is one of the ugliest players in the league and this beautiful looking man claims that they are related, I was more interested in that than the actual player.
I give the guy the room keys and he left. A few hours later the tattoo artist and his assistant come in. They go upstairs and come back down shortly afterwards.
Artist: So I'm here to tattoo [Shooting Guard]
Working Girl: So I've heard.
Artist: Yeah, I tattoo a lot of celebrities.
Working Girl: I bet.
Artist: Ballers, Rappers, anyone you can think of with a tattoo probably has one of my pieces on them.
Working Girl: Cool Beans.
After seeing how unimpressed an uninterested I was, they went back up to their room. Then an all black Range Rover pulls up and a very tall and very large man gets out. He walks up to the front desk and with the deepest voice I've ever heard he says "It's time to go."
Working Girl: What? It's time to go? Am I going too? I can go, that's not a problem, I just have to call some people first. Do I have enough time to get my stuff? I don't really need ALL of it but I think my wallet and cell phone should come in handy. Unless you're paying I don't really need to get my wallet but I can for like cab fare home or something. Should I change clothes? Is my uniform okay or are we going to stop at Target or something. I'm cool if you're cool but I do need a heads up...
His dead stare and my awkward rambling stopped when the tattoo artist and his assistant came out of the elevator with their equipment and said to me "I guess it's time to go."
They walked out and I watched them all get into the Range Rover. The back tinted window was down a bit when I saw shooting guard. We locked eyes and he gave me a "what's up" head nod then the car peeled away. The whole situation was so unnecessarily 'Hollywood' that not only was I confused but I was also willing to hop in a car with complete strangers.
Something else that I've realized is that though they are technically famous, they have to run errands like everyone else which means they have to leave their house. I personally wish that I had more run ins with athletes because not only do I love sports but it would make a lot of sense. The Oakland Raiders and the Golden State Warriors opponents often stay in hotels in San Francisco and many of the players live there as well which is absolutely illogical. The Oakland Raiders practice facility is not in San Francisco, the Golden State Warriors practice facility is not in San Francisco and there is constant traffic going to and from San Francisco. Why put yourself through that? Why make a 30 minute trek when you can make a 10 minute one? I never understand it. I know teams fly into San Francisco Airport but staying in SF is more out of the way then all the places they need to be at during their time in the Bay Area.
Either way, one would think that I have seen plenty of famous people because I live in the Bay Area which is just not the case. The fact that I haven't gotten to rub elbows with the rich and famous on a consistent basis, it makes these stories even more memorable.
Potential Football Player/ Potential Husband
When I worked at the office supply store a guy would come in to get prints. He was tall, muscular and extremely good looking. He was a really nice, normal guy who could've taken up modeling as opposed to football. He was going through training camp for the Oakland Raiders. He came into the store a lot and every single time I stopped in my tracks. I know he never got to play for the Raiders (due to being cut just before the season started) but I acted like he was a 10 year veteran. It was really cool to be around someone who was so close to being on my favorite football team. He wasn't truly a celebrity but the way my eyes turned into hearts, similar to that of a cartoon character, you would've thought his posters were plastered on my bedroom walls.
Hip-Hop Legend
A rapper came into the hotel and booked a room. The entire time I'm thinking "Is that?... It looks like... But it can't be... Maybe I'm... Wouldn't his ID?" Apparently during that time I thought that your rap name had to be on your drivers license. He went to the room and shortly after came his wife.
Working Girl: Excuse me, um is that [Hip-Hop Legend]
Wife: Larry? Yes. That is. He's my husband. Are you a fan?
Working Girl: Who isn't? Wow. That's really cool.
Wife: I'll be right back.
Then she goes to the car and brings me his newest CD.
Wife: If you're here when we get back I'll make sure to have him sign it for you.
They left soon after that because he had a show in Oakland and they were headed to sound check. For the first time I was unhappy to leave work. I never got the autograph but I do have the CD. I was actually able to not only check in a Hip-Hop Legend but I got to talk to him, meet his wife and I got a little gift. It was a cool day.
Mr. Football and his personal cheerleader
This happened very recently. My friend/front desk agent, Banana, text me and told me that a football player had checked into the hotel; one from our favorite team and we immediately started freaking out. This was our text conversation:
Banana: So Oakland Raiders [Wide Receiver] just checked in. Kinda cool. I'm not all celebrity struck but he's a RAIDER!
Working Girl: That's weird! Copy that reg card!! Did you tell him you're a Raider fan? GET US SOME TICKETS!
Banana: He seemed super chill. I should've just been like 'I love you! You're awesome' but I was trying so hard to play it cool...I was soooo blushing.
Working Girl: Hahahaha! Own that shit! Chat him up when he comes out.
Banana: Hahahahahaha! He hella just walked right out...I'm like waiting for him to come back but I think he might have just paid for the room because once he left some female walked in that I haven't seen yet.
Working Girl: Dammmmmmmit! His mistress!!!!
That's when it dawned on us that Mr. Football was no different than any of our other guests who are here to house their hos. He just had a more famous name. But maybe that wasn't the case at all. Maybe he saw a homeless woman and thought to put her in a hotel for the night and... who am I kidding?
Time To Go
This is one of my favorite stories. One Saturday I was working and really early on into my shift a very handsome guy comes up to me.
Handsome Face: Hello
Working Girl: Hey There.
Handsome Face: Do y'all have any rooms?
Working Girl: Sure. One bed or two.
Handsome Face: Two. It's for these tattoo artists from Atlanta.
Working Girl: That's cool.
Handsome Face: You know Golden State Warriors [Shooting Guard].
Working Girl: Yeah.
Handsome Face: Well he's real tatted up, right? When he played in Atlanta he really liked this tattoo artist so he flies him in whenever he needs a new tattoo. I'm his cousin/assistant.
I had to pause. This guy was "shooting guard"s cousin. He is one of the ugliest players in the league and this beautiful looking man claims that they are related, I was more interested in that than the actual player.
I give the guy the room keys and he left. A few hours later the tattoo artist and his assistant come in. They go upstairs and come back down shortly afterwards.
Artist: So I'm here to tattoo [Shooting Guard]
Working Girl: So I've heard.
Artist: Yeah, I tattoo a lot of celebrities.
Working Girl: I bet.
Artist: Ballers, Rappers, anyone you can think of with a tattoo probably has one of my pieces on them.
Working Girl: Cool Beans.
After seeing how unimpressed an uninterested I was, they went back up to their room. Then an all black Range Rover pulls up and a very tall and very large man gets out. He walks up to the front desk and with the deepest voice I've ever heard he says "It's time to go."
Working Girl: What? It's time to go? Am I going too? I can go, that's not a problem, I just have to call some people first. Do I have enough time to get my stuff? I don't really need ALL of it but I think my wallet and cell phone should come in handy. Unless you're paying I don't really need to get my wallet but I can for like cab fare home or something. Should I change clothes? Is my uniform okay or are we going to stop at Target or something. I'm cool if you're cool but I do need a heads up...
His dead stare and my awkward rambling stopped when the tattoo artist and his assistant came out of the elevator with their equipment and said to me "I guess it's time to go."
They walked out and I watched them all get into the Range Rover. The back tinted window was down a bit when I saw shooting guard. We locked eyes and he gave me a "what's up" head nod then the car peeled away. The whole situation was so unnecessarily 'Hollywood' that not only was I confused but I was also willing to hop in a car with complete strangers.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Alive and Well
This incident always made me giggle. When I worked at the copy center we had to up-sell. Up-sell, up-sell, up-sell. If you don't know what up-sell is let me give you a basic description:
"Would you like that Super-Sized?" It's when you try to push the customer to buy something extra or upgrade their purchase because you're forced to.
At the copy center an "up-sell" was showing all the different things we could do. For example, if you ordered business cards, we were supposed to take one of those business cards and make it into a magnet. This just shows that there is so much more that we could do that you may not have known about.
Our manager, Jazzy, wanted every order to have an up-sell gift. We would take every order and give them free address labels or color prints. I loved to up-sell because I love to be creative. Working at the copy center helped me to master all of the different Adobe software programs. Those programs helped me to up-sell.
I had to print out a poster of a smiling woman on a large canvas. It was a simple job but I needed a way to up-sell. I had the brilliant idea to take the picture of this happy woman and place her in front of a beach backdrop to make post cards. I placed her on the beach with a smile and sunglasses against the words "Wish You Were Here..."
The postcards were beautiful and I was very proud of them. The customer came to pick up the print and I had to explain the up-sell.
Working Girl: Your print is all done.
Customer: Thanks. It looks beautiful.
Working Girl: We can also do other types of services just in case you wondering. For example I made you up some postcards. I placed her in a beautiful beach with sunglasses. These postcards are yours to keep but if you are ever interested in something else we can definitely do it.
Customer: Uh, thanks. This is nice but I don't think I'll need it.
Working Girl: Oh it's free to keep. It's just an example of what we can do here. You could hand out the post cards to people to show them what we can do.
Customer: The postcards are very nice and I appreciate them it's just that...this poster is for my grandmother's funeral.
There was a look of complete shock on my face. I "Weekend At Bernie's"-ed this guy's grandmother. I put sunglasses on her, I put her on a beach and I gave her the thought of "Wish You Were Here" from beyond the grave. I was so embarrassed. I was just trying to up-sell, I wasn't trying to offend anyone especially not in his time of grief.
I apologized numerous times and it actually put a smile on his face. He said it was no big deal and there's no way I could've known that the picture he gave me was of his dead grandmother. The story makes me laugh now because I can't believe it happened but if I was able to at least make that guy (and hopefully the rest of his family) smile during that difficult time, then I did my job....just in a really messed up way.
"Would you like that Super-Sized?" It's when you try to push the customer to buy something extra or upgrade their purchase because you're forced to.
At the copy center an "up-sell" was showing all the different things we could do. For example, if you ordered business cards, we were supposed to take one of those business cards and make it into a magnet. This just shows that there is so much more that we could do that you may not have known about.
Our manager, Jazzy, wanted every order to have an up-sell gift. We would take every order and give them free address labels or color prints. I loved to up-sell because I love to be creative. Working at the copy center helped me to master all of the different Adobe software programs. Those programs helped me to up-sell.
I had to print out a poster of a smiling woman on a large canvas. It was a simple job but I needed a way to up-sell. I had the brilliant idea to take the picture of this happy woman and place her in front of a beach backdrop to make post cards. I placed her on the beach with a smile and sunglasses against the words "Wish You Were Here..."
The postcards were beautiful and I was very proud of them. The customer came to pick up the print and I had to explain the up-sell.
Working Girl: Your print is all done.
Customer: Thanks. It looks beautiful.
Working Girl: We can also do other types of services just in case you wondering. For example I made you up some postcards. I placed her in a beautiful beach with sunglasses. These postcards are yours to keep but if you are ever interested in something else we can definitely do it.
Customer: Uh, thanks. This is nice but I don't think I'll need it.
Working Girl: Oh it's free to keep. It's just an example of what we can do here. You could hand out the post cards to people to show them what we can do.
Customer: The postcards are very nice and I appreciate them it's just that...this poster is for my grandmother's funeral.
There was a look of complete shock on my face. I "Weekend At Bernie's"-ed this guy's grandmother. I put sunglasses on her, I put her on a beach and I gave her the thought of "Wish You Were Here" from beyond the grave. I was so embarrassed. I was just trying to up-sell, I wasn't trying to offend anyone especially not in his time of grief.
I apologized numerous times and it actually put a smile on his face. He said it was no big deal and there's no way I could've known that the picture he gave me was of his dead grandmother. The story makes me laugh now because I can't believe it happened but if I was able to at least make that guy (and hopefully the rest of his family) smile during that difficult time, then I did my job....just in a really messed up way.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Yearbook
When I was in high school I was on the yearbook staff. This wasn't paid work but the fact that we had to make our shitty high school look at least decent was definitely hard work. Yearbook was actually the only class I truly enjoyed during my senior year. I got to design pages, write stories and hang out with people who I never really got the chance to hang out with before.
The people on the yearbook staff were characters themselves, it was almost like a comedy club, everyday we would all leave with tears in our eyes. I hung out with a core group of hilarious people and what made us all so funny was our ability to shit talk.
If you haven't learned, I'm a fan of shit talking. I don't bully people but shit talking is a blast, that is what we did. There was one day that was more memorable than the rest: Baby Photo Day.
The creators of the Baby Photo page were Necia, Ralph and Serena and they were the ones who gathered the baby pictures of the participating seniors and created the layout for that specific page. They also happened to be some of the funniest people in the class. The three of them and a handful of the rest of us took a look at our classmates precious baby photos.
The photo of our classmate alone in a park holding a single balloon...
Banana: Sup with Egore's balloon? Is no one going to ask why this is happening? Why is he alone in a park? I'm confused
The black and white, crumpled photo of a classmate...
Necia: What kind of concentration camp photo is this?
The photo of one of our classmates in a half shirt...
Ralph: See, she was a Ho back then.
The blurry photo of another female classmate...
Zeus: I think that sign back there says "Welcome to America."
The photo of a girl in our class who looked exactly like she did at 17 as she did at 5...
Serena: Was that photo taken yesterday? This is not a baby picture.
Then I brought out a photo given to me by a friend of mine for a classmate of hers.
Working Girl: Oh! I almost forgot, someone gave me this photo to add to the baby pics.
Necia: Who is this?
Working Girl: I have no idea. Her name is on the back.
Necia: Jan...Jan who?
Working Girl (laughing): Necia I have no idea. The picture was given to me by someone who knows this girl. I can only assume she goes to this school.
Necia: She don't go here. Nope! Not happening, she will not be in this yearbook.
We had plenty of hilarious days in yearbook and plenty of hilarious quotes. Being on that staff only reinforced the idea that I wanted to be a writer. I figured that if being on a staff of creative people can be half as much fun as our yearbook staff. I would forever love my job.
Special thanks to Necia, Ralph, Serena, Star Jones, Banana, Zeus, F-Cup and everyone else on the yearbook staff for being just as mean and hilarious as I am.
The people on the yearbook staff were characters themselves, it was almost like a comedy club, everyday we would all leave with tears in our eyes. I hung out with a core group of hilarious people and what made us all so funny was our ability to shit talk.
If you haven't learned, I'm a fan of shit talking. I don't bully people but shit talking is a blast, that is what we did. There was one day that was more memorable than the rest: Baby Photo Day.
The creators of the Baby Photo page were Necia, Ralph and Serena and they were the ones who gathered the baby pictures of the participating seniors and created the layout for that specific page. They also happened to be some of the funniest people in the class. The three of them and a handful of the rest of us took a look at our classmates precious baby photos.
The photo of our classmate alone in a park holding a single balloon...
Banana: Sup with Egore's balloon? Is no one going to ask why this is happening? Why is he alone in a park? I'm confused
The black and white, crumpled photo of a classmate...
Necia: What kind of concentration camp photo is this?
The photo of one of our classmates in a half shirt...
Ralph: See, she was a Ho back then.
The blurry photo of another female classmate...
Zeus: I think that sign back there says "Welcome to America."
The photo of a girl in our class who looked exactly like she did at 17 as she did at 5...
Serena: Was that photo taken yesterday? This is not a baby picture.
Then I brought out a photo given to me by a friend of mine for a classmate of hers.
Working Girl: Oh! I almost forgot, someone gave me this photo to add to the baby pics.
Necia: Who is this?
Working Girl: I have no idea. Her name is on the back.
Necia: Jan...Jan who?
Working Girl (laughing): Necia I have no idea. The picture was given to me by someone who knows this girl. I can only assume she goes to this school.
Necia: She don't go here. Nope! Not happening, she will not be in this yearbook.
We had plenty of hilarious days in yearbook and plenty of hilarious quotes. Being on that staff only reinforced the idea that I wanted to be a writer. I figured that if being on a staff of creative people can be half as much fun as our yearbook staff. I would forever love my job.
Special thanks to Necia, Ralph, Serena, Star Jones, Banana, Zeus, F-Cup and everyone else on the yearbook staff for being just as mean and hilarious as I am.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Tani Gold: Why Are You Such a Bitch? Pt. 3
Me! Me! Me! Bitch!
If you haven't quite figured it out yet, Tani was attention hungry. Everything she did was for attention. From crying to pouting to trying to meet strangers online. The first time I met Tani she let me in on her life and basically why she was so screwed up. Tani was the "red-headed stepchild" in a sense. She and her sister would compete for her mother's attention and Tani always got the short end of the stick. Though Tani loved her family, she didn't get along with them so she would be the one to go off and do things that confused the rest of the Gold clan.
I realized that Tani had attention problems when she came in on her day off to hand out birthday party invitations. Tani worked four days a week, there was no reason for her to come in on her day off to hand them out unless she was trying to rub something in someones face; that someone was me. Tani came in and gave a birthday party invitation to everyone at the hotel except me. This included the housekeeping staff that hated her and that she hated. After she got done handing out the invitations like it was the third grade, she then came to gloat at the front desk.
Tani: It's gonna be so much fun. It's a themed birthday party and there will be a bounce house. You know you are so jealous and you want to go.
Working Girl: Both you and bounce houses make me sick. I'm good.
Tani: Oh whatever. It's gonna be a blast.
Tani did this type of shit constantly. Anything to help her get attention she was okay with. She once told the staff that she was a newlywed because after boozing it up one night, she got married to her gay best friend. She claimed that they were just having fun but stayed married in order to receive benefits. She boasted about it and constantly referred to him as "my husband" because she wanted everyone to talk about her...even if it was all negative.
Bitch why do you have to look like that, Bitch?
I personally am not one to judge based on someones appearance but it's difficult not to when dealing with Tani. Tani's look confused us all. Let's break it down from top to bottom:
Head
Tani wore a weave. A bad weave. A nasty, ratted weave that she put in herself. She never had the money to buy a new weave so she continued to use the same weave over and over until it started to shed. There would be times where we'd come into work and her hair was all over the place. Due to our downtime at work, Tani would apply her weave in the back room, there were thousands of times where she wore a scarf on her head during her shift because she knew that she looked like a train wreck even more than we did. The best quote about her hair came from a coworker:
TT Y'all: Why is her hair looking like that? Her sister's shit was fucked up too. Their mama must be bald.
Body
This is where the "Spongebob Squarepants" nickname came from. She was shaped like a box. She had broad, square shoulders and stick-like arms. She had a massive chest that sat on top of her round beer belly therefore giving the impression that they were molded together to make almost a flat surface. Her back and her ass were similar to the front. She had the type of ass that had a lead in from her back. There was no difference. It was one flat surface. TT Y'all also gave a memorable quote about Tani's body as well.
TT Y'all: That body. Ugh.
Legs
Her legs were skinny. That's all you can really say about them. They were very thin and didn't fit the rest of her body.
Not everyone is a beauty queen and no one should be faulted for that but I do believe that people should take some pride in their appearance, especially in a professional setting. Tani never looked professional. Aside from the rag she wore on her head from time to time, her awkward body shape made her clothes an awkward fit.
Tani had gone on vacation and lost a few pounds. She took the 10 pounds that she lost and considered it to be 100 pounds. When she got back to work she ordered a smaller uniform for her "new body." Just like with any sudden weight loss, she gained it all back and then some. She not only couldn't fit her new uniform, she could no longer fit her old one.
Tani came to relieve me and my mom, who had borrowed my car, was sitting on the couch in the lobby waiting for me to get off work. Tani comes in with a sour look on her face and her shirt, being so small, was rolled up all the way to the middle of her back. She wasn't wearing a shirt underneath her uniform. When my mom saw her come in she couldn't control herself.
Working Girl's Mom: OH HER SHIRT! DAMN!
My mom then had to step outside to control her laughter.
Tani just wasn't a cute girl, nor was she a good person. I guess because of her family relationships, her romantic relationships, her obviously unstable emotional state of being and that that body, ugh, Tani Gold didn't have a choice but to be such a bitch.
Don't think this is the last you'll her of Tani Gold, there is still plenty more to come.
If you haven't quite figured it out yet, Tani was attention hungry. Everything she did was for attention. From crying to pouting to trying to meet strangers online. The first time I met Tani she let me in on her life and basically why she was so screwed up. Tani was the "red-headed stepchild" in a sense. She and her sister would compete for her mother's attention and Tani always got the short end of the stick. Though Tani loved her family, she didn't get along with them so she would be the one to go off and do things that confused the rest of the Gold clan.
I realized that Tani had attention problems when she came in on her day off to hand out birthday party invitations. Tani worked four days a week, there was no reason for her to come in on her day off to hand them out unless she was trying to rub something in someones face; that someone was me. Tani came in and gave a birthday party invitation to everyone at the hotel except me. This included the housekeeping staff that hated her and that she hated. After she got done handing out the invitations like it was the third grade, she then came to gloat at the front desk.
Tani: It's gonna be so much fun. It's a themed birthday party and there will be a bounce house. You know you are so jealous and you want to go.
Working Girl: Both you and bounce houses make me sick. I'm good.
Tani: Oh whatever. It's gonna be a blast.
Tani did this type of shit constantly. Anything to help her get attention she was okay with. She once told the staff that she was a newlywed because after boozing it up one night, she got married to her gay best friend. She claimed that they were just having fun but stayed married in order to receive benefits. She boasted about it and constantly referred to him as "my husband" because she wanted everyone to talk about her...even if it was all negative.
Bitch why do you have to look like that, Bitch?
I personally am not one to judge based on someones appearance but it's difficult not to when dealing with Tani. Tani's look confused us all. Let's break it down from top to bottom:
Head
Tani wore a weave. A bad weave. A nasty, ratted weave that she put in herself. She never had the money to buy a new weave so she continued to use the same weave over and over until it started to shed. There would be times where we'd come into work and her hair was all over the place. Due to our downtime at work, Tani would apply her weave in the back room, there were thousands of times where she wore a scarf on her head during her shift because she knew that she looked like a train wreck even more than we did. The best quote about her hair came from a coworker:
TT Y'all: Why is her hair looking like that? Her sister's shit was fucked up too. Their mama must be bald.
Body
This is where the "Spongebob Squarepants" nickname came from. She was shaped like a box. She had broad, square shoulders and stick-like arms. She had a massive chest that sat on top of her round beer belly therefore giving the impression that they were molded together to make almost a flat surface. Her back and her ass were similar to the front. She had the type of ass that had a lead in from her back. There was no difference. It was one flat surface. TT Y'all also gave a memorable quote about Tani's body as well.
TT Y'all: That body. Ugh.
Legs
Her legs were skinny. That's all you can really say about them. They were very thin and didn't fit the rest of her body.
Not everyone is a beauty queen and no one should be faulted for that but I do believe that people should take some pride in their appearance, especially in a professional setting. Tani never looked professional. Aside from the rag she wore on her head from time to time, her awkward body shape made her clothes an awkward fit.
Tani had gone on vacation and lost a few pounds. She took the 10 pounds that she lost and considered it to be 100 pounds. When she got back to work she ordered a smaller uniform for her "new body." Just like with any sudden weight loss, she gained it all back and then some. She not only couldn't fit her new uniform, she could no longer fit her old one.
Tani came to relieve me and my mom, who had borrowed my car, was sitting on the couch in the lobby waiting for me to get off work. Tani comes in with a sour look on her face and her shirt, being so small, was rolled up all the way to the middle of her back. She wasn't wearing a shirt underneath her uniform. When my mom saw her come in she couldn't control herself.
Working Girl's Mom: OH HER SHIRT! DAMN!
My mom then had to step outside to control her laughter.
Tani just wasn't a cute girl, nor was she a good person. I guess because of her family relationships, her romantic relationships, her obviously unstable emotional state of being and that that body, ugh, Tani Gold didn't have a choice but to be such a bitch.
Don't think this is the last you'll her of Tani Gold, there is still plenty more to come.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Tani Gold: Why Are You Such a Bitch? Pt. 2
Emotional Bitch
It seemed as though Tani had a lot of feelings. She took everything to heart. We were surprised if a month went by without her crying about something. There were plenty of times when she cried, and the best one will have to wait for its own post, but some situations were more memorable.
Like I said Tani was condescending, and she was like that with both the staff and the guests. Some guests ignored it, some guests mocked her behind her back and others (my favorites) confronted her. Though the hotel is technically "limited service," the staff always went out of their way to help guests. Sometimes guests don't want to be helped; Tani learned that the hard way. There was once a couple checking into the hotel, the male counterpart of this couple was struggling with the luggage and Tani ran out to help him. His girlfriend was not too fond of that.
Tani: Oh sir, let me help you.
Man: That's not necessary. I've got it.
Tani: Oh I'm happy to help. It's what I'm here for.
Woman: *sigh* No one asked you for your help. You can leave my man and me ALONE.
They made their way upstairs to Tani's shock and disbelief. I do think that woman completely took it the wrong way and Tani was actually trying to be helpful. The aftermath is where the problem was. Tani then began crying and wrote a note to all of us in the log book saying that the woman is a total psycho and to "watch out because she's jealous."
There was another incident in which a guest was upset about something stupid. I've learned that hotel guests are stupid and they tend to complain about things that just aren't worth it. This man was a very light sleeper and the fan that constantly runs in the bathroom was keeping him from sleeping. Instead of telling him that there is no way to stop the fan, it keeps mold from growing in the bathroom and it is standard in every hotel she decided to help by giving him towels to clog it. He immediately got upset because not only did she hand him rags to clog it, she suggested he clog it himself. If there is one rule in the hotel industry it is that the guest is a baby and you must feed, clothe and provide for the infant. He started raising his voice and she was terrified so she hit the panic button.
Side Note: The panic button is for emergencies only. Robberies and assaults to give you an example but an irritated guest is not one of them.
The panic button calls the police and basically tells them to come in guns blazing. They rush there to find that not only did the guy go back up to his room, there wasn't an emergency in the first place.
A week later during the staff meeting the owner mentioned that we are never to use the panic button without there being an actual emergency...she then burst into tears during the meeting even though the owner didn't even mention her name. The saga continued.
Hateful Bitch
This pissed me off more than anything else she did. I once came in to get my paycheck during Tani's shift. It was already established that Tani and I didn't like each other. She overheard me talking in the parking lot to the housekeeping manager before I came in to get my check. To avoid speaking to me or even seeing me, I heard her slam my check on the counter and stomp into the manager's office.
Trust me, I didn't want to speak to her either but don't ever screw with my money. She left my check on the counter for anyone to pass by and pick up. My check. My money. My name. My address. My social security number. My life. It was left on the counter because she didn't like me. Someone could've taken my shit because she didn't like me. She honestly should've been in the manager's office praying to whatever she believes in that I didn't hop the counter and introduce her face to my fist.
Shockingly enough we still didn't get to answer the question of "Why Are You Such a Bitch?" Maybe we'll tackle that in part three.
It seemed as though Tani had a lot of feelings. She took everything to heart. We were surprised if a month went by without her crying about something. There were plenty of times when she cried, and the best one will have to wait for its own post, but some situations were more memorable.
Like I said Tani was condescending, and she was like that with both the staff and the guests. Some guests ignored it, some guests mocked her behind her back and others (my favorites) confronted her. Though the hotel is technically "limited service," the staff always went out of their way to help guests. Sometimes guests don't want to be helped; Tani learned that the hard way. There was once a couple checking into the hotel, the male counterpart of this couple was struggling with the luggage and Tani ran out to help him. His girlfriend was not too fond of that.
Tani: Oh sir, let me help you.
Man: That's not necessary. I've got it.
Tani: Oh I'm happy to help. It's what I'm here for.
Woman: *sigh* No one asked you for your help. You can leave my man and me ALONE.
They made their way upstairs to Tani's shock and disbelief. I do think that woman completely took it the wrong way and Tani was actually trying to be helpful. The aftermath is where the problem was. Tani then began crying and wrote a note to all of us in the log book saying that the woman is a total psycho and to "watch out because she's jealous."
There was another incident in which a guest was upset about something stupid. I've learned that hotel guests are stupid and they tend to complain about things that just aren't worth it. This man was a very light sleeper and the fan that constantly runs in the bathroom was keeping him from sleeping. Instead of telling him that there is no way to stop the fan, it keeps mold from growing in the bathroom and it is standard in every hotel she decided to help by giving him towels to clog it. He immediately got upset because not only did she hand him rags to clog it, she suggested he clog it himself. If there is one rule in the hotel industry it is that the guest is a baby and you must feed, clothe and provide for the infant. He started raising his voice and she was terrified so she hit the panic button.
Side Note: The panic button is for emergencies only. Robberies and assaults to give you an example but an irritated guest is not one of them.
The panic button calls the police and basically tells them to come in guns blazing. They rush there to find that not only did the guy go back up to his room, there wasn't an emergency in the first place.
A week later during the staff meeting the owner mentioned that we are never to use the panic button without there being an actual emergency...she then burst into tears during the meeting even though the owner didn't even mention her name. The saga continued.
Hateful Bitch
This pissed me off more than anything else she did. I once came in to get my paycheck during Tani's shift. It was already established that Tani and I didn't like each other. She overheard me talking in the parking lot to the housekeeping manager before I came in to get my check. To avoid speaking to me or even seeing me, I heard her slam my check on the counter and stomp into the manager's office.
Trust me, I didn't want to speak to her either but don't ever screw with my money. She left my check on the counter for anyone to pass by and pick up. My check. My money. My name. My address. My social security number. My life. It was left on the counter because she didn't like me. Someone could've taken my shit because she didn't like me. She honestly should've been in the manager's office praying to whatever she believes in that I didn't hop the counter and introduce her face to my fist.
Shockingly enough we still didn't get to answer the question of "Why Are You Such a Bitch?" Maybe we'll tackle that in part three.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Tani Gold: Why Are You Such a Bitch? Pt 1
It may seem like I rant about Tani Gold and that I don't like her but that's because I rant about her and I don't like her. She was a bitch. She was a bitch to me, co-workers, and sometimes guests. There are so many stories that I have as to why I can't stand her so instead of giving each one their own individual post I've decided to go into "The Bitch Series."
Condescending Bitch
Tani would talk down to people. She made it a point to pretend as if she was better than everyone else. She tried to do it with the front desk staff but she was just ignored. She knew she could wield her power over the housekeeping staff. The housekeeping staff is similar to many in America. The majority of them are Latino and they have a difficult time speaking/understanding English. None of us, with the exception of Tani, would fault them for that. We tried to learn as much Spanish as we could so the we could all communicate better. Tani had a different approach: yelling. She would scream things in English thinking that the louder she said, the better they understood. She was constantly barking at them. She once told the Housekeeping Manager to shut up while she was on the phone. What was she smoking?
She did this to guests as well. We once had a large band staying at the hotel and they needed cones to set up around their tour bus. The bus driver asked Tani if we had any cones.
Tani: Well..um... I'm really not sure..um...MOST of the time if you need cones you need to um bring YOUR OWN cones. That's not really "our responsibility."
Guy #1: Well if you could try, I would appreciate it.
After Tani walked away to find cones, the guys started to mock her.
Guy #1: Well ummmm....
Guy#2: It's not um our um responsibility um...
Guy #3: MOST of the um time um I um am um a bitch um...
No One is Better at "Hotelling" than this Bitch
Tani's favorite activity was telling the front desk how to do their job. She made it a constant thing. She was always writing passive-aggressive and aggressive-aggressive notes to the staff telling us how we aren't ever doing anything right. She once used an entire page to tell me that I didn't check the fax machine, didn't set up the rewards bags and didn't assign rooms during my morning shift. She wrote that because she didn't like me and she wanted to make everyone aware that I was "not good at my job." I laughed it off because that day I was faxing for the manager and the morning shift doesn't ever assign rooms. She was making a big deal over nothing but the fact that she tried to embarrass me, only made her life worse.
After that incident the manager pulled her into the office to tell her that it is not her job to tell anyone how to do theirs. Tani immediately got upset and told the manager that "if everyone just did their job correctly, I wouldn't have to tell them how to." Tani started crying and ran out to her car. Anyone who was really that great at their job could probably take the criticism and move on. But that was Tani Gold. Hopefully we'll understand her a little better in part two.
Condescending Bitch
Tani would talk down to people. She made it a point to pretend as if she was better than everyone else. She tried to do it with the front desk staff but she was just ignored. She knew she could wield her power over the housekeeping staff. The housekeeping staff is similar to many in America. The majority of them are Latino and they have a difficult time speaking/understanding English. None of us, with the exception of Tani, would fault them for that. We tried to learn as much Spanish as we could so the we could all communicate better. Tani had a different approach: yelling. She would scream things in English thinking that the louder she said, the better they understood. She was constantly barking at them. She once told the Housekeeping Manager to shut up while she was on the phone. What was she smoking?
She did this to guests as well. We once had a large band staying at the hotel and they needed cones to set up around their tour bus. The bus driver asked Tani if we had any cones.
Tani: Well..um... I'm really not sure..um...MOST of the time if you need cones you need to um bring YOUR OWN cones. That's not really "our responsibility."
Guy #1: Well if you could try, I would appreciate it.
After Tani walked away to find cones, the guys started to mock her.
Guy #1: Well ummmm....
Guy#2: It's not um our um responsibility um...
Guy #3: MOST of the um time um I um am um a bitch um...
No One is Better at "Hotelling" than this Bitch
Tani's favorite activity was telling the front desk how to do their job. She made it a constant thing. She was always writing passive-aggressive and aggressive-aggressive notes to the staff telling us how we aren't ever doing anything right. She once used an entire page to tell me that I didn't check the fax machine, didn't set up the rewards bags and didn't assign rooms during my morning shift. She wrote that because she didn't like me and she wanted to make everyone aware that I was "not good at my job." I laughed it off because that day I was faxing for the manager and the morning shift doesn't ever assign rooms. She was making a big deal over nothing but the fact that she tried to embarrass me, only made her life worse.
After that incident the manager pulled her into the office to tell her that it is not her job to tell anyone how to do theirs. Tani immediately got upset and told the manager that "if everyone just did their job correctly, I wouldn't have to tell them how to." Tani started crying and ran out to her car. Anyone who was really that great at their job could probably take the criticism and move on. But that was Tani Gold. Hopefully we'll understand her a little better in part two.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Potty Humor
Poop is just not funny. The word itself is hilarious but the general idea of it shouldn't make anyone chuckle. Though I am a firm believer in "girls don't poop," I'm not so crazy to think that it never happens. Weird things happen in bathrooms, especially in public bathrooms. I think that because people know someone else will clean up the mess, they make it a point to shit on the side of the toilet as opposed to in it. It's a real effed up way of thinking but it happens more than it ever should.
Date & Bible Study
When I was in college I worked on various parts of the newspaper. I wrote editorials, sports features, took photographs. It wasn't paid work but it paid in experience (which is why I don't talk about it). One day, after drinking giant cups of coffee and multiple bottles of water, I had to excuse myself to the ladies room. As I washed my hands a woman came from out of the stall and asked me if I believed in God. My initial reaction was "not if I someone were to accost me in a bathroom I don't" but instead I said "sure." She then went on and talked about our Lord and Savior and how the only way I won't be sent to eternal damnation is if I joined her Bible study.
Working Girl: Ya know, that all sounds holy and what not but I'm good.
Thumper: Well okay, but here's a flyer if you change your mind.
Working Girl: Thanks.
Just when I thought I could leave...
Thumper: So, um, are you seeing anyone?
Working Girl: What?
Thumper: Like do you have a girlfriend?
Working Girl: Sorry I...yes...a big, giant girlfriend of whom I love so very much. Talk to you later bye!
Did she think I would've agreed to a date after she told me I was going to hell in a bathroom? I don't even like to open my mouth in a public bathroom let alone carry a full on conversation and set up date plans.
Thieves R' Us
I'm not saying that anyone should steal. It's not okay and it sucks when something is stolen from you, but with that being said, it is extremely easy to steal. The office supply store actually had a public restroom. I understand why retail stores have restrooms but I don't know why the public is allowed to use them.
At the office supply store people would go into the bathroom with their hand baskets full of merchandise but leave it with an empty hand basket. This wasn't that difficult to figure out. But it was difficult to catch. We didn't have a bathroom attendant, the bathroom was at the back of the store and we were greatly short staffed. The dumb criminals were the ones who would just stuff merchandise into a backpack and run. It stopped happening so often because we had to hold the merchandise for people at the front but them walking to the bathroom without the original merchandise didn't necessarily mean they weren't going to pick up new merchandise along the way.
Bad Lunch Choice
We have a meeting room at the hotel that is used multiple times throughout the year. We provide coffee and tea service but it is up to the coordinator to supply lunch. The coordinators of these meetings aren't creative. I've only ever seen 3 catered lunches at the hotel including Subway sandwiches, Mexican food and Indian food which are all within walking distance. There is one group that consistently uses the meeting room and the coordinator actually provides her own treats for the group. So not only did the attendees have Mexican for lunch, they also snacked on Blueberry Navajo pie, Apricot Scones, Chocolate dipped pistachio cookies and whatever else randomness she makes.
Obviously that mixture of food didn't sit well with the group and they all rushed to the bathroom during their 15 minute break. We only had 2 bathrooms to be shared amongst 30 people in the span of 15 minutes. I won't get into the smells coming from the hallway but I will talk about the people. I've never had so many people dripping sweat and pressing their hands against their stomach ask me for a bathroom before. Some of the meeting attendees actually rented a room just so they could explode in a bathroom without waiting. It. Was. Hilarious. One woman begged me to use the non-existent employee bathroom that she was sure we had. Another was upset that there were only 2 bathrooms, and another asked us to open up one of the vacant rooms as a third bathroom.
All in all I laughed because I never stuff my face at a conference or meeting but I also question: What was in that food to get that reaction?
Nasty Ass
Now this one is rare. I would like to say once again that people do things they normally wouldn't do in their own home because they know someone else will be cleaning up after them.
The housekeeping staff is outstanding. They can clean the messiest of rooms in 30 minutes. I once cleaned 4 rooms and it took me 3 hours. On one occasion it was taking housekeeping over an hour to clean one of the rooms. Not only was it taking longer, multiple housekeepers were cleaning it when normally it's just 1 housekeeper per room. I later found out why it took them so long to finish.
Working Girl: Ernice you are leaving much later than usual. And you're covered in sweat. What's up?
Ernice (exhausted): Room 313. Poo.
Working Girl: Poo? Like they messed the bed? They missed the toilet?
Ernice: Everywhere.
Working Girl: Everywhere?
Ernice: Blood too.
Working Girl: WHAT!?
So after doing this back and forth with Ernice for a minute, I later found out exactly what she was saying. Room 313 smeared their blood and feces on the walls. Every wall. No one knows why. I had to think about who 313 was when they checked out.
Was it the couple that looked disheveled? No, I'm sure they got freaky but not THAT freaky.
Was it the really dirty guy that was at breakfast? No, he wasn't a guest. He was just a homeless guy that wandered in.
Was it that old couple? No, that wasn't their room number and they didn't look insane.
Then it dawned on me. It was that little Asian woman who was all smiles when she left. She had ruby red lipstick, earrings, a gray hoodie and a big smile from ear to ear as she checked out. Who could've known she was a bat shit crazy shit smearer? Go figure.
Date & Bible Study
When I was in college I worked on various parts of the newspaper. I wrote editorials, sports features, took photographs. It wasn't paid work but it paid in experience (which is why I don't talk about it). One day, after drinking giant cups of coffee and multiple bottles of water, I had to excuse myself to the ladies room. As I washed my hands a woman came from out of the stall and asked me if I believed in God. My initial reaction was "not if I someone were to accost me in a bathroom I don't" but instead I said "sure." She then went on and talked about our Lord and Savior and how the only way I won't be sent to eternal damnation is if I joined her Bible study.
Working Girl: Ya know, that all sounds holy and what not but I'm good.
Thumper: Well okay, but here's a flyer if you change your mind.
Working Girl: Thanks.
Just when I thought I could leave...
Thumper: So, um, are you seeing anyone?
Working Girl: What?
Thumper: Like do you have a girlfriend?
Working Girl: Sorry I...yes...a big, giant girlfriend of whom I love so very much. Talk to you later bye!
Did she think I would've agreed to a date after she told me I was going to hell in a bathroom? I don't even like to open my mouth in a public bathroom let alone carry a full on conversation and set up date plans.
Thieves R' Us
I'm not saying that anyone should steal. It's not okay and it sucks when something is stolen from you, but with that being said, it is extremely easy to steal. The office supply store actually had a public restroom. I understand why retail stores have restrooms but I don't know why the public is allowed to use them.
At the office supply store people would go into the bathroom with their hand baskets full of merchandise but leave it with an empty hand basket. This wasn't that difficult to figure out. But it was difficult to catch. We didn't have a bathroom attendant, the bathroom was at the back of the store and we were greatly short staffed. The dumb criminals were the ones who would just stuff merchandise into a backpack and run. It stopped happening so often because we had to hold the merchandise for people at the front but them walking to the bathroom without the original merchandise didn't necessarily mean they weren't going to pick up new merchandise along the way.
Bad Lunch Choice
We have a meeting room at the hotel that is used multiple times throughout the year. We provide coffee and tea service but it is up to the coordinator to supply lunch. The coordinators of these meetings aren't creative. I've only ever seen 3 catered lunches at the hotel including Subway sandwiches, Mexican food and Indian food which are all within walking distance. There is one group that consistently uses the meeting room and the coordinator actually provides her own treats for the group. So not only did the attendees have Mexican for lunch, they also snacked on Blueberry Navajo pie, Apricot Scones, Chocolate dipped pistachio cookies and whatever else randomness she makes.
Obviously that mixture of food didn't sit well with the group and they all rushed to the bathroom during their 15 minute break. We only had 2 bathrooms to be shared amongst 30 people in the span of 15 minutes. I won't get into the smells coming from the hallway but I will talk about the people. I've never had so many people dripping sweat and pressing their hands against their stomach ask me for a bathroom before. Some of the meeting attendees actually rented a room just so they could explode in a bathroom without waiting. It. Was. Hilarious. One woman begged me to use the non-existent employee bathroom that she was sure we had. Another was upset that there were only 2 bathrooms, and another asked us to open up one of the vacant rooms as a third bathroom.
All in all I laughed because I never stuff my face at a conference or meeting but I also question: What was in that food to get that reaction?
Nasty Ass
Now this one is rare. I would like to say once again that people do things they normally wouldn't do in their own home because they know someone else will be cleaning up after them.
The housekeeping staff is outstanding. They can clean the messiest of rooms in 30 minutes. I once cleaned 4 rooms and it took me 3 hours. On one occasion it was taking housekeeping over an hour to clean one of the rooms. Not only was it taking longer, multiple housekeepers were cleaning it when normally it's just 1 housekeeper per room. I later found out why it took them so long to finish.
Working Girl: Ernice you are leaving much later than usual. And you're covered in sweat. What's up?
Ernice (exhausted): Room 313. Poo.
Working Girl: Poo? Like they messed the bed? They missed the toilet?
Ernice: Everywhere.
Working Girl: Everywhere?
Ernice: Blood too.
Working Girl: WHAT!?
So after doing this back and forth with Ernice for a minute, I later found out exactly what she was saying. Room 313 smeared their blood and feces on the walls. Every wall. No one knows why. I had to think about who 313 was when they checked out.
Was it the couple that looked disheveled? No, I'm sure they got freaky but not THAT freaky.
Was it the really dirty guy that was at breakfast? No, he wasn't a guest. He was just a homeless guy that wandered in.
Was it that old couple? No, that wasn't their room number and they didn't look insane.
Then it dawned on me. It was that little Asian woman who was all smiles when she left. She had ruby red lipstick, earrings, a gray hoodie and a big smile from ear to ear as she checked out. Who could've known she was a bat shit crazy shit smearer? Go figure.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Sob Stories
Everyone has a sob story, especially when they are trying to get something to go their way. When I was a little girl I slapped the dog shit out of some other girl then I started crying, ran to tell a teacher that she said something racist to me (which was the reasoning behind the slap) and then she got in trouble while she had a big Working Girl hand print on her face. I see this everyday at work, except I'm the one getting slapped in the face.
Nowhere To Go
Early on when I was working at the hotel I had a girl come in with a baby. She was crying and shaking. She told me that she ran away from her abusive husband and was only able to grab her wallet. She had walked to the hotel without a phone and without any place to go. She asked me what the rate was.
Working Girl: The rate is $109.
Baby Mama: Oh, that's really expensive. Is there anything cheaper?
Working Girl: Unfortunately no. That is our cheapest rate. I can give you $10 off to make it $99.
Baby Mama: Thank you but that rate is still just too high.
Working Girl: Well there is another hotel down the street. It's not fancy but I'm sure they are cheaper and at least you'll have a bed to sleep in.
Baby Mama: I tried there. They are all sold out of their cheapest rooms. I just can't afford that.
At this point I really did feel bad. I don't like kids and I generally hate people but it was so wrong that she had to be forced out of her home with her baby because her husband was beating her up.
Working Girl: Well...we have a special rate for students. It's the lowest rate we have, I will give you that but if anyone asks you are a student. The rate is $89.
Baby Mama: Oh yes! Thank you, thank you. You have no idea what this means to me.
I gave her a 2 queen bed suite at the cheapest rate I could. I had never stuck my neck on the line for a guest but I felt good about it. Maybe she could use the phone in the room and if not call the police, than at least call someone that she knows to pick her up after she rested her head and let go of her worries for at least a few hours. I went home happy.
The next day at work I was informed that the room was TRASHED because a party had been thrown in there. WHAT!? Did that bitch really play me? Was that a fake baby? It didn't look fake. OH MY GOD WAS THE BABY A LITTLE PERSON!!!??? Either way, I got played. I told myself that never again would I feel bad for any guest. We all go through hard times but bitches like her will have to suffer through it.
Raider Fan
I bleed silver and black. I am a huge Oakland Raider fan and it just so happens that the restaurant across the street was hosting a party for the Raiders. Of course none of them showed up but hundreds of Raider fans did. There is nothing more beautiful than a group of Raider fans coming together. Because of the endless supply of alcohol and the storied decisions of Raider fans in the past, we were almost sold out. I had only one room left and I was sure that I'd sell it. Soon enough I got someone to bite, someone wearing a Raiders jersey.
Raider Fan: Hi. I need a room.
Working Girl: Okay. I have only one room. The rate it $109 plus tax.
Raider Fan: Oh.
Working Girl: Did you want to take it?
Raider Fan: See, I was at the Raider party across the street and my wallet got stolen. It just so happens because I was buying alcohol, I didn't put my cash or ID back in my wallet so I do have that but I don't have enough cash I think. How much would the total be?
Working Girl: The total, with tax, is $119.90
Raider Fan: Damn I don't have that.
Working Girl: Well I can give you the Triple - A discount. It takes $10 off. The total would then change to $108.90
Raider Fan: That might work. Let's see.
At this point he counts his cash. He has $104. SHIT! Here I go again, sometimes I wish I was the goddamn Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz... no heart to get in the way of shit.
Working Girl: I have $7 in cash on me. I will give you $5. Just don't trash the room.
Raider Fan: WHAT!? OH MY GOD! YOU'RE AWESOME. I CAN'T...YOU ARE THE BEST! I OWE YOU SOMETHING. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Working Girl: Don't worry about it.
I check him in, give him his keys and send him on his merry way. He walks out the door and comes back in 30 seconds later holding hands with some girl in a tight black dress, a purse, a leather Raider jacket and high heels....
WHERE DID THIS BITCH COME FROM!? She doesn't have $5 dollars to give you? Did you not have the money because you hired that prostitute? As he walked by with this ho, he points at me and says to her:
"That girl is AWESOME! I'm gonna have to buy her breakfast"
WHERE DID THIS BREAKFAST MONEY COME FROM NOW?
The Neighborhood
I had a guest who's been staying with us recently and his life is in shambles. Everything bad that could happen to anyone, happened to this guy. Not only was he an alcoholic, he was very open about his life. He told the front desk many sad things from his life including:
Being molested as a kid
Having an obvious drinking problem
Depression
Suicidal Thoughts
Fear of being around "normal people"
Not being able to sleep for weeks at a time
Chain smoker
and worst of all, he was driving the car that killed his wife and 2 young daughters
This man had no reason to live. And though he is very very nice, you can't help but want to smack some sense into him. Even though he visibly had some issues, the more stories that were revealed, the harder it became to believe him. He told me that he was a quadruplet with a twin sister who looks nothing like him but they have ESP. The stories were just getting ridiculous but because he was so noticeably disturbed, we never thought about it. We all just felt bad for him. Though it was difficult to not cry every time he would make the long walk from his room, we all knew the story as to why he was there in the first place.
He came to the Bay Area for some reason that was never told to us. When he was about to go back home he had a few too many drinks at the airport bar. He basically was too drunk to sit. He checked all of his bags so when he was not allowed to board, his belongings were on the plane going home without him. He decided to drown his sorrows with more of the Devil's juice. He made his way to a local bar that wasn't at the airport. He began flirting with a woman at the bar. He gave her some cash to take him outside. I can only assume he was trying to get a Handy J. She took him outside behind the building where she had four of her male friends waiting. They beat him up and robbed him for his cash. They didn't take his wallet which is the only way he was able to get a hotel room.
That story sucks. He never should've been jumped on by a group of guys especially when he was already inebriated. Then of course you can make the argument that he should not be trying to get a [insert word regarding a sexual act] job in a strange city in the first place. She could see him coming from a mile away.
He finally left the hotel after drinking away the embarrassment for six weeks. We all really want him to be okay and to turn his life around. Hopefully, though highly unlikely, he's learned from this experience. Don't trust a ho.
Nowhere To Go
Early on when I was working at the hotel I had a girl come in with a baby. She was crying and shaking. She told me that she ran away from her abusive husband and was only able to grab her wallet. She had walked to the hotel without a phone and without any place to go. She asked me what the rate was.
Working Girl: The rate is $109.
Baby Mama: Oh, that's really expensive. Is there anything cheaper?
Working Girl: Unfortunately no. That is our cheapest rate. I can give you $10 off to make it $99.
Baby Mama: Thank you but that rate is still just too high.
Working Girl: Well there is another hotel down the street. It's not fancy but I'm sure they are cheaper and at least you'll have a bed to sleep in.
Baby Mama: I tried there. They are all sold out of their cheapest rooms. I just can't afford that.
At this point I really did feel bad. I don't like kids and I generally hate people but it was so wrong that she had to be forced out of her home with her baby because her husband was beating her up.
Working Girl: Well...we have a special rate for students. It's the lowest rate we have, I will give you that but if anyone asks you are a student. The rate is $89.
Baby Mama: Oh yes! Thank you, thank you. You have no idea what this means to me.
I gave her a 2 queen bed suite at the cheapest rate I could. I had never stuck my neck on the line for a guest but I felt good about it. Maybe she could use the phone in the room and if not call the police, than at least call someone that she knows to pick her up after she rested her head and let go of her worries for at least a few hours. I went home happy.
The next day at work I was informed that the room was TRASHED because a party had been thrown in there. WHAT!? Did that bitch really play me? Was that a fake baby? It didn't look fake. OH MY GOD WAS THE BABY A LITTLE PERSON!!!??? Either way, I got played. I told myself that never again would I feel bad for any guest. We all go through hard times but bitches like her will have to suffer through it.
Raider Fan
I bleed silver and black. I am a huge Oakland Raider fan and it just so happens that the restaurant across the street was hosting a party for the Raiders. Of course none of them showed up but hundreds of Raider fans did. There is nothing more beautiful than a group of Raider fans coming together. Because of the endless supply of alcohol and the storied decisions of Raider fans in the past, we were almost sold out. I had only one room left and I was sure that I'd sell it. Soon enough I got someone to bite, someone wearing a Raiders jersey.
Raider Fan: Hi. I need a room.
Working Girl: Okay. I have only one room. The rate it $109 plus tax.
Raider Fan: Oh.
Working Girl: Did you want to take it?
Raider Fan: See, I was at the Raider party across the street and my wallet got stolen. It just so happens because I was buying alcohol, I didn't put my cash or ID back in my wallet so I do have that but I don't have enough cash I think. How much would the total be?
Working Girl: The total, with tax, is $119.90
Raider Fan: Damn I don't have that.
Working Girl: Well I can give you the Triple - A discount. It takes $10 off. The total would then change to $108.90
Raider Fan: That might work. Let's see.
At this point he counts his cash. He has $104. SHIT! Here I go again, sometimes I wish I was the goddamn Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz... no heart to get in the way of shit.
Working Girl: I have $7 in cash on me. I will give you $5. Just don't trash the room.
Raider Fan: WHAT!? OH MY GOD! YOU'RE AWESOME. I CAN'T...YOU ARE THE BEST! I OWE YOU SOMETHING. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Working Girl: Don't worry about it.
I check him in, give him his keys and send him on his merry way. He walks out the door and comes back in 30 seconds later holding hands with some girl in a tight black dress, a purse, a leather Raider jacket and high heels....
WHERE DID THIS BITCH COME FROM!? She doesn't have $5 dollars to give you? Did you not have the money because you hired that prostitute? As he walked by with this ho, he points at me and says to her:
"That girl is AWESOME! I'm gonna have to buy her breakfast"
WHERE DID THIS BREAKFAST MONEY COME FROM NOW?
The Neighborhood
I had a guest who's been staying with us recently and his life is in shambles. Everything bad that could happen to anyone, happened to this guy. Not only was he an alcoholic, he was very open about his life. He told the front desk many sad things from his life including:
Being molested as a kid
Having an obvious drinking problem
Depression
Suicidal Thoughts
Fear of being around "normal people"
Not being able to sleep for weeks at a time
Chain smoker
and worst of all, he was driving the car that killed his wife and 2 young daughters
This man had no reason to live. And though he is very very nice, you can't help but want to smack some sense into him. Even though he visibly had some issues, the more stories that were revealed, the harder it became to believe him. He told me that he was a quadruplet with a twin sister who looks nothing like him but they have ESP. The stories were just getting ridiculous but because he was so noticeably disturbed, we never thought about it. We all just felt bad for him. Though it was difficult to not cry every time he would make the long walk from his room, we all knew the story as to why he was there in the first place.
He came to the Bay Area for some reason that was never told to us. When he was about to go back home he had a few too many drinks at the airport bar. He basically was too drunk to sit. He checked all of his bags so when he was not allowed to board, his belongings were on the plane going home without him. He decided to drown his sorrows with more of the Devil's juice. He made his way to a local bar that wasn't at the airport. He began flirting with a woman at the bar. He gave her some cash to take him outside. I can only assume he was trying to get a Handy J. She took him outside behind the building where she had four of her male friends waiting. They beat him up and robbed him for his cash. They didn't take his wallet which is the only way he was able to get a hotel room.
That story sucks. He never should've been jumped on by a group of guys especially when he was already inebriated. Then of course you can make the argument that he should not be trying to get a [insert word regarding a sexual act] job in a strange city in the first place. She could see him coming from a mile away.
He finally left the hotel after drinking away the embarrassment for six weeks. We all really want him to be okay and to turn his life around. Hopefully, though highly unlikely, he's learned from this experience. Don't trust a ho.
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