AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!

If you haven't checked out my new favorite viral video which features my new favorite phrase you should wander over to YouTube and search for 'Sweet Brown' (just wait until you've read all of my posts first). Anyway Sweet Brown's catchphrase, "Ain't  Nobody Got Time For That," has become the best fitting phrase for some of my work experiences. These stories aren't necessarily as funny or feature enough banging to get their own post but I really wish I could've been able to tell these customers that the amount of time it takes for someone to complete their request is an amount that no one has time for...or in other words: AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!

Foreign Fax

There is nothing more difficult in customer service than when the customer has a language barrier. You want them to understand you but they just can't. It isn't their fault necessarily but they should definitely realize that if they can't understand you then you can't understand them.

I had a woman who came into the office supply store just minutes before closing. She wanted me to send a fax which normally is no big deal. The problem was that she wanted the fax to be sent to the Philippines. So she gives me, what seems like, a 25 digit fax number only for it not to go through 5 times.

Working Girl: Ma'am I'm sorry, it's not going through. It says that the problem is on their side. Maybe their fax machine isn't on.
Woman: No. Your fax machine is on.
Working Girl: Yes, ours is on but theirs isn't.
Woman: Put a "0" in front of number.
Working Girl: There are already 5 zeroes in front of it, I don't know if a sixth one will help.
Woman: What about a "1?"

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!

Human GPS

People get lost all the time but I believe it takes a special kind of stupid to travel without printing out directions. This happens constantly at the hotel. My first year working there half of the phone calls were guests completely lost on the way to the hotel.

I had one woman who was coming from Los Angeles and she was near the Fresno area. Fresno is about three hours away from the hotel but she wanted me to stay on the phone with her until she got to the Bay Area.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!

There was a mother and daughter pair coming to the hotel and the mom arrived to the hotel 2 hours before the daughter. The daughter apparently was closer in proximity but she got to the Bay Area and continued going around in circles. She had been in Oakland for about an hour and half and had no idea how to get out. She kept going on and getting off the freeway without ever looking around to see exactly where she was. Her mother came downstairs and handed me her cell phone to guide her to the hotel.

Side Note: She was in downtown Oakland when her mother handed me the cell phone. She was a total of five minutes away from the hotel.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!

Again, this was another case of someone doing zero research before visiting the Bay Area. Oakland California is dangerous; it can be a beautiful city but it is overrun with crime. If you don't know where you are in Oakland, it is best to get out as soon as possible. I had a guest who called me and said that he was outside of the hotel.

Working Girl: Well come on in. I have a room for ya!
Knockin' On Death's Door: The thing is, this doesn't look like a hotel.
Working Girl: That's a first. What do you mean by that?
KODD: Well, it looks like an abandoned building.
Working Girl: Even with all the cars in the parking lot?
KODD: Well there are no cars, and there is no parking lot. I know I have the right address. I guess I should just come in.
Working Girl: Sir, where are you?
KODD: [Hotel's address]  in Oakland
Working Girl: THAT is an abandoned building. Stay in your car and get out of Oakland immediately.
KODD: This has to be it.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!! and HAUL ASS!!

Register is Closed

I'm not sure if I've said this before but a lot of my customers at the office supply store would come in right before the store would close. Floor customers shopped after work but copy center customers made copies at 8:58pm. The thing with any retail store is that the registers close, some closed earlier than others. My register was the first to close at the store which means that you have to go get rung up at the open register. This one woman never understood that.

Rude Lady: Um, I'm ready to get rung up now.
Working Girl: Ma'am, my register is closed. Just as the sign says it is.
Rude Lady: Well open it.
Working Girl: It's not that easy. You have to get rung up at Customer Service.
Rude Lady: You want ME to stand in THAT LONG line!?
Working Girl: Yes, you have to stand in the line with the other one customer in the store.
Rude Lady: Just open your register.
Working Girl: There is nothing to open. I can't help you.
Rude Lady: I just don't understand why you can't open your register.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!

I don't know what people just don't understand.

"I've got Bronchitis Jesus! AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!"- Sweet Brown.