Favorite Guests Pt 2

The guests I mention in this post were one time guests at the hotel but made such an impression on me that they will forever be memorable.

JOSHWA

If there is one thing that hotel employees HATE is when guests sit in the lobby. It makes things awkward and we just don't want you around. You're annoying, you refuse to shut up and you make shit even more awkward then it needs to be. We are not offended if you don't speak to us, we'd prefer if you didn't. Go about your business and go to your room.

Joshwa was a guest who was sitting in the lobby waiting for his load of laundry to finish. He sat quietly on the couch and read the newspaper. I was happy, and then the silence apparently got to him.

Joshwa: Do you like your job?
Working Girl: I like that I get paid to do my homework.
Joshwa: That is actually pretty awesome.

*sigh* I give in

Working Girl: Do you like yours?
Joshwa: I do. I like the fact that I get to travel but being away from my wife is pretty shitty.
Working Girl: What do you do?
Joshwa: I work for the CIA.
Working Girl: Yeah OOOOKAAAY!
Joshwa: I know it sounds like I made it up but I actually do work for the CIA. I'm here for 2 weeks on business.
Working Girl: Well what do you do "at the CIA"?

Then he goes on and explains the very real sounding and complicated tasks that he has working for the CIA. He doesn't go into too much detail but just general job specifics.

Working Girl: Wow! That sounded way too real to be made up.

From that point on he and I talked for the rest of my shift, which lasted for another three hours. He was a really interesting guy but on top of that he was HILARIOUS! He went on to tell me about his siblings, and the fact that his wife looks like Carrie Underwood. The funniest story was about how for the entirety of his childhood his grandmother would send him a Christmas card every year with a personal check for $12 made out to Joshwa. She never spelled his name right. She didn't even attempt. She did the same thing to his brother who was a junior of HER OWN SON.

Every story he told me made me more interested in him. I think I developed a little crush on Joshwa during that short time. Finally the 2 week mark came and he was down at the front desk upset that he was leaving because he really did enjoy talking to me. It's unfortunate that I only worked 2 days a week at the time so we only spoke for 4 days but each of those days was greatly memorable.

Byron D & Roommate

This starts off the same way. I'm minding my own damn business and some awkward ass guests feel the need to talk to me.

Byron D: Hey
Working Girl: Hello.
Byron D: How are you this evening?
Working Girl: Miserable.
Roommate: Why?
Working Girl: I'm at work.
Byron D: She makes a good point.
Roommate: We're at work.
Working Girl: Talking to me is work?
Roommate: Not yet. But we are here on business.
Byron D: I've never seen you before. I've met all the girls here--the white girl, the Asian chick, the nice black lady, the girl who checked us in. Why have I not seen you?
Working Girl: I only work 2 days a week.
Roommate: HEYYYY! Get it girl. Get it, get it, girl.

I laughed. They drew me in by being hilarious. My kryptonite will always be that if you make me laugh, you've got my attention.

Byron D and Roommate were staying for over a month. They were staying in the large handicapped suite on the first floor so they were constantly talking to me. There was nothing that spectacular about their stories, just some funny quotes and frat boy antics.

Roommate (during the 3rd week): I'm married and what not but I really need to smash, like I'm hungry.
Working Girl (being a smart ass): Well if you're hungry you should walk down the street to Nation's. They've got great pies.
Roommate (being more of a smart ass): Do they have pussy pie because that's all I'm interested in.

Byron D (2nd to last time I saw him): Well the white chick is cute, a little icy. The Asian chick isn't really my thing. The black lady is a sweet heart but I'm afraid she's too experienced for me. She'd have me balled up in the corner. I don't know the other night audit chick you talked about. So that leaves me with you and Tani.
Working Girl: Ugh! Don't lump me in with Tani.
Byron D: You don't like Tani? She's alright. Oh but you're definitely number one.
Roommate: I NEED TO SMASH SOMETHING!

Byron D: Look here's my name and e-mail, look for me on Facebook. We should be friends.
Working Girl: I don't know if my boyfriend would like my new friend.
Byron D: Sharing is caring.

Outside of being hilarious horn dogs they were decorators. Not really, but they decided to play a prank on management. They rearranged everything in the room and stole the plants from the lobby. They asked me to come see their work and they had changed the hotel room to actually look like an apartment. it was hilarious.

I unfortunately never found Byron D or Roommate on Facebook, even though I definitely tried. They were very memorable guests that even through their vulgarity, flirting, and childish behavior they were still some of my favorite guests of all time.