Phone Etiquette

It's not hard. Talking on the phone is simple. I hate to sound like an old fogey but maybe, just maybe, texting and having everything at the tip of our fingers really is screwing up our society. I have noticed more and more that people don't know how to talk on the phone. Either they are too distracted and don't listen or they don't know when is an appropriate time for a conversation. Everyday I am given proof that technology really is screwing us up. Either people are brand new to it and don't know how to use it or they know how to use it a little too well but they don't know how to do anything else. I think....hold on, I'm getting a text....

Breakdown

If there was something I really hated at the office supply store, it was answering the phone. You never knew what was going to be on the other end. We honestly didn't get a lot of phone calls because we were the copy center, basic stuff. When we did get a phone call it was usually someone who needed way more assistance than just a copy job.

Working Girl: Thank you for calling the copy center, how may I help you?
Woman: Do you guy do price breaks?
Working Girl: Yes. The more copies you purchase the lower the price per copy.
Woman: How many copies can I make?
Working Girl: However many you want.
Woman: How much is it for color copies but 1,000 of them?
Working Girl: That breaks down to about 29 cents a copy so around $300
Woman: Wow! What about 500 copies?
Working Girl: That's $100 more because it's less copies.
Woman: Oh.
Working Girl: So do you have a large job for us to do? Somewhere between 500 and 1,000 copies?
Woman: Oh no, I have a job but I only need about 10 copies. Thanks for the information though.

Can I Take Your Order?

The hotel has a similar phone number to a local restaurant, in fact it is the same number with a one digit difference. When we answer the phone we say this:

"Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening, thank you for calling [Hotel Name]. Working Girl speaking, How may I help you?"

Obviously, people don't pay attention to that.

Working Girl: Good Evening, thank you for calling [Hotel Name]. Working Girl speaking, how may I help you?
Deaf Girl: Hi, I'd like to order a pizza for pick up.
Working Girl: This isn't a pizza place, it's a hotel. I think you have the wrong number.
Deaf Girl: Can I get a large pizza with sausage...
Working Girl: Ma'am you have the wrong number.
Deaf Girl: Yeah, extra cheese.
Working Girl: THIS IS NOT A RESTAURANT. IT IS A HOTEL!
Deaf Girl: This isn't Tommy's?
Working Girl: Nope.
Deaf Girl: Oh, sorry.

This one came from inside a room...

Working Girl: Front Desk?
Woman: Sandwich?
Working Girl: That's not my name.
Woman: Can I get a sandwich?
Working Girl: Feel free to do so but why are you calling me?
Woman: So that you can make me a sandwich.
Working Girl: Oh! We don't have room service.
Woman: Yeah I know.
Working Girl: What?
Woman: I know you don't have room service but I was wondering if you would make me a sandwich.
Working Girl: There's a Subway across the street. I'm sure they'd be happy to make you a sandwich.
Woman: Oh, so you're not going to make it?
Working Girl: No.
Woman: Oh okay. So where across the street?

Excellent Readers, Below Average Thinkers

Something that both myself and my staff HATES is when someone calls with questions about the hotel when they are in front of a computer on the hotel's website. They ask questions that they already know the answers to but yet still they don't understand our frustration.

Reader: So the website says you have a parking lot. You do have one right?
Working Girl: Yes.

Reader: The website says that you get a special rate if you book the manager's special but you have to stay for three days between Thursday and Sunday. Does it count if I stay, Thursday, Friday and Saturday?
Working Girl: Yes.

Reader: It says on your website that you have a meeting room used only for meetings and conferences, can I hold my wedding there?
Working Girl: No.

Reader: Do you serve lunch?
Working Girl: No.
Reader: Yeah your website says breakfast and dinner but I thought I'd ask anyway.

Reader: It says on your website that the rate is lower on the weekends, is it?
Working Girl: Yes.

You get the point.

Rate

We expect questions about the rate. We don't expect people to get pissed off at us when we give them the information they ask for.

Bitch: We are senior citizens, triple-A members, retired military, we own the book and we are apart of your rewards program. What is the rate for 1 king bed for one night?
Working Girl: $143.10 plus tax.
Bitch: I said we're senior citizens, triple-A members, retired military and we own the book.
Working Girl: You can only use one discount at a time, "the book" doesn't give you a discount and neither does the rewards program. That is the discounted rate.
Bitch: That's the discounted rate?
Working Girl: Yes.
Bitch: So you're giving us the discounted rate?
Working Girl: Yes.
Bitch: Well nevermind.

This woman obviously doesn't have a grasp of American currency...

Woman: What's the rate for tonight?
Working Girl: One hundred fifty-nine.
Woman: DOLLARS!?

This woman doesn't know a good deal when she sees one...

Woman: So I found you guys online for a really cheap rate. Do you guys have like bed bugs or something?
Amles: What is the rate?
Woman: $20
Amles: We don't have bed bugs but I'd suggest you'd jump on that.

Please think BEFORE you pick up the phone.