Tani Gold: Why Are You Such a Bitch? Pt. 3

Me! Me! Me! Bitch!

If you haven't quite figured it out yet, Tani was attention hungry. Everything she did was for attention. From crying to pouting to trying to meet strangers online. The first time I met Tani she let me in on her life and basically why she was so screwed up. Tani was the "red-headed stepchild" in a sense. She and her sister would compete for her mother's attention and Tani always got the short end of the stick. Though Tani loved her family, she didn't get along with them so she would be the one to go off and do things that confused the rest of the Gold clan.

I realized that Tani had attention problems when she came in on her day off to hand out birthday party invitations. Tani worked four days a week, there was no reason for her to come in on her day off to hand them out unless she was trying to rub something in someones face; that someone was me. Tani came in and gave a birthday party invitation to everyone at the hotel except me. This included the housekeeping staff that hated her and that she hated. After she got done handing out the invitations like it was the third grade, she then came to gloat at the front desk.

Tani: It's gonna be so much fun. It's a themed birthday party and there will be a bounce house. You know you are so jealous and you want to go.
Working Girl: Both you and bounce houses make me sick. I'm good.
Tani: Oh whatever. It's gonna be a blast.

Tani did this type of shit constantly. Anything to help her get attention she was okay with. She once told the staff that she was a newlywed because after boozing it up one night, she got married to her gay best friend. She claimed that they were just having fun but stayed married in order to receive benefits. She boasted about it and constantly referred to him as "my husband" because she wanted everyone to talk about her...even if it was all negative.

Bitch why do you have to look like that, Bitch?

I personally am not one to judge based on someones appearance but it's difficult not to when dealing with Tani. Tani's look confused us all. Let's break it down from top to bottom:

Head

Tani wore a weave. A bad weave. A nasty, ratted weave that she put in herself. She never had the money to buy a new weave so she continued to use the same weave over and over until it started to shed. There would be times where we'd come into work and her hair was all over the place. Due to our downtime at work, Tani would apply her weave in the back room, there were thousands of times where she wore a scarf on her head during her shift because she knew that she looked like a train wreck even more than we did. The best quote about her hair came from a coworker:

TT Y'all: Why is her hair looking like that? Her sister's shit was fucked up too. Their mama must be bald.

Body

This is where the "Spongebob Squarepants" nickname came from. She was shaped like a box. She had broad, square shoulders and stick-like arms. She had a massive chest that sat on top of her round beer belly therefore giving the impression that they were molded together to make almost a flat surface. Her back and her ass were similar to the front. She had the type of ass that had a lead in from her back. There was no difference. It was one flat surface. TT Y'all also gave a memorable quote about Tani's body as well.

TT Y'all: That body. Ugh.

Legs

Her legs were skinny. That's all you can really say about them. They were very thin and didn't fit the rest of her body.

Not everyone is a beauty queen and no one should be faulted for that but I do believe that people should take some pride in their appearance, especially in a professional setting. Tani never looked professional. Aside from the rag she wore on her head from time to time, her awkward body shape made her clothes an awkward fit.

Tani had gone on vacation and lost a few pounds. She took the 10 pounds that she lost and considered it to be 100 pounds. When she got back to work she ordered a smaller uniform for her "new body." Just like with any sudden weight loss, she gained it all back and then some. She not only couldn't fit her new uniform, she could no longer fit her old one.

Tani came to relieve me and my mom, who had borrowed my car, was sitting on the couch in the lobby waiting for me to get off work. Tani comes in with a sour look on her face and her shirt, being so small, was rolled up all the way to the middle of her back. She wasn't wearing a shirt underneath her uniform. When my mom saw her come in she couldn't control herself.

Working Girl's Mom: OH HER SHIRT! DAMN!

My mom then had to step outside to control her laughter.

Tani just wasn't a cute girl, nor was she a good person. I guess because of her family relationships, her romantic relationships, her obviously unstable emotional state of being and that that body, ugh, Tani Gold didn't have a choice but to be such a bitch.

Don't think this is the last you'll her of Tani Gold, there is still plenty more to come.