The Pickup

Men. A part of me thinks that you're ballsy for trying to come on to the front desk person at a hotel, the other part of me (like 75%) thinks that you're a creepy douche. The reasons are as follows:

1. It is my job to be nice to you. I don't actually care. Don't confuse my kindness with me "wanting the D."
2. I'm normally by myself. When you hit on me and I can't leave, it is creepy.
3. You offering me drinks and food only makes you look like Allan from The Hangover; you put a shit load of roofies in this didn't you?

Pale Prince

There was a guy who used to stay at the hotel on business and he was a smoker. Back when we used to have smoking rooms he would always stay in one of the rooms. He refused to stay if both of our smoking rooms were occupied. He reeked of smoke. He was short, skinny and probably in his late 40's to early 50's. He loved me. He would always talk to me for long periods of time and he made it a point to only check in on the days I was working during the time I was working.

One day he decided to get into the jacuzzi. In order to do that he would have to pass through the lobby. He came downstairs shirtless, with tight blue swim trunks and a pizza he had delivered.

Pale Prince: Do you wanna join me?
Working Girl: Excuse me?
Pale Prince: Would you like to join me in the jacuzzi? I've ordered a pizza for us to share.
Working Girl: Um...no.
Pale Prince: No? But why?
Working Girl: I can't and I don't want to. But thanks for the offer.
Pale Prince: Oh, okay.

He went to the jacuzzi for no more than 10 minutes and then he shuffled upstairs looking defeated. I didn't mean to break his little heart but c'mon. I'm currently at work, it's 4 o'clock in the afternoon, you're a guest at my job and you're at least 20 years my senior. The only pale, skinny, older guy I would follow into a jacuzzi would be Hugh Hefner because I'd assume he'd be leaving a trail of money behind him.

Baby Bachelor

I had only been working at the hotel for a few months when I got my first "regulars." It was a father and son duo. The father would come out here because he was enrolled in a medical school that was 99% online, but he would have to travel for exams. He oftentimes would bring his son. His son was very tall, very polite and actually kind of cute...once you got past the acne because he was 15! He was 15 and I have giant pornstar boobs, so he was apparently attracted to me. He and his father would of course share a room but he would be sent out when his father was studying. He just kind of wandered around on his own but mostly he would relax in the lobby.

I engaged in a few conversations with him until he asked me how old I was. After I told him that I was 20 and his response was "Oh, I'll be 20 in about 5 years," I had to shut it down. He was persistent and constantly spoke to me but he stopped coming when his dad graduated. He was 17 then. It's too bad though, just a few more months and...

BYOB

Whenever groups of guys hit on me it becomes a scene of the crime as opposed to a scene from the movies. Multiple guys together just don't think. I was an hour from getting off work one night when a group of four guys, who had been staying at the hotel, came in from dinner. Each of them over 6ft tall and 200lbs. They were BIG guys who needed some female attention. I just so happen to be the female in question. Right before I got off work I was talking to TT Y'all when two of the guys came down and brought me a cup of Rum and a coke.

Big & Tall: We have this great peach flavored rum in the room. We thought you might like to have some. We also brought down a coke for you.
Working Girl: Thanks but no thanks. I'm at work.
Big & Tall: But you're about to get off right? Just taste it to see how you like it and if you want more we have plenty in the room. Just come up and get some.

They then got on the elevator and went back upstairs to the room.

TT Y'all: What. The. Fuck!? Do they think you're just gonna be drinkin' that shit in here?
Working Girl: I don't even drink.
TT Y'all: Uh-uh. I'm pouring this out.

I understand the gesture. I appreciate it. Those guys could not have actually thought I was going to drink "alcohol" that they brought down from their room..in a cup..without a lid...or the bottle of alcohol itself. I don't think they were bad guys but you never know anyones intent. Giving me alcohol while I'm on the job is a no-no, inviting me up to your room is a no-no and telling me to "come up and get some" is a hell no-no.


Three's A Crowd

This was a first for me. I was working and I had a couple walk in to get a room. This was no different than my other bangers. They got a room to do their thing and then they would leave, right? Nope. This was different. When they checked in they asked if we had DVD players. I gave them one and they went on their way. Probably 30 minutes after they checked in the guy called down to the front desk to tell me the DVD player isn't working. I told him to come down and get a new one. He did and we switched them out. Then five minutes after that he called down complaining about the same thing. There is no way that all of our DVD players aren't working, it has to be something with them.

Against my better judgement, I went up to the room to help them. When they let me in, she had already slipped on lingerie and he was sitting on the couch in just a wife beater. I crouched down to see what was up and then I pressed play.

All of a sudden HARDCORE porn started playing on the TV.

Dude: Oh damn, my bad. That's just my movie, ya know.
Working Girl: It's okay. Well it's working now, so...
Dude: Yeah, um you wanna watch?
Working Girl: Wait, what!?
Dude: Well me and my girl about to you know, watch this and get into some things. If you wanna watch and maybe join in, we cool with that.
Working Girl: Kay...BYE!

I left as soon as possible. Should I have been flattered? Did he not know that I worked there and the uniform and name tag weren't apart of this freaky dress up fantasy? Not very many people can say that they've been asked to have a threesome while they were on the clock.

When you hit on someone while they are at work you may or may not get the results you're looking for. There's a possibility that they are completely into it and maybe even hope that you do say something. But the other side, the majority, thinks you're creepy. This goes for men, women and children. Do not hit on the person who is paid to be nice to you. It's called a work-face, and do not get punched in yours for being inappropriate.