Sold Out

Sold Out. It's a common phrase in customer service. It's also a phrase that turns a completely sane person into a screaming, profanity using, psychotic lunatic. But it makes for a good story to tell.

Crayons

At the office supply store 'Back to School' was the biggest time of the year. It's when the store made the most money and when we were the busiest. Because we were so busy, unfortunately the copy center had to help ring up the customers.

A little note about back to school is that there is always a sale. Even if the sale is shitty, it's still a sale. The biggest thing for the store were the crayons. Each box of crayons was one penny. Granted, they weren't Crayola crayons but since a five year old is only going to draw with them or eat them, they really wouldn't know the difference.

Due to the fact that crayons were so cheap, they went fast. They went on sale weeks before 'back to school' actually happened. People who worked in hospitals, teachers, and parents with way too many kids were coming to the store in droves. Obviously we sold out of crayons instantly (even with the 10 per customer limit) and when back to school night actually happened, all hell broke loose.

Working Girl/All Other Employees: We're SOLD OUT.

I feel as if when we said "sold out" time had started to move much more slowly and our voices became distorted in the customers eyes. Soooooold ooooouuuutttttt.

Customer #1: What do you mean you're sold out?
Customer #2: Do you have more in the back?
Customer #3: Well why would it be advertised if you were sold out?

*Side Note: An advertisement for a corporation with over 100 locations is not specific to just 1 location. People never seem to understand that.

Customer #4: When is your next shipment?
Customer #5: Oooh Oooh Oooh AH AH!!! (begins to throw feces)

If something is sold out then it is sold out. No amount of begging, pleading, cursing or screaming is going to make 1000 boxes of penny crayons appear.

No Room At The Inn

As a hotel employee, if you work in a nice enough hotel, you will say the phrase 'We're Sold Out' at least 10 times in a 2 month span. At my hotel, we say it at least 10 times a day. That does not go over well with people.

Working Girl/All Other Employees: We're SOLD OUT.
Customer #1: Really?
Customer #2: Why?
Customer #3: WELL WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW!?
Customer #4: But I just called 3 hours ago.
Customer #5: Are you sure?
Customer #6: What about just 1 bed?
Customer #7: So you don't have ANY rooms?
Customer #8: I just saw that you have rooms online.
Customer #9: Well do you think someone will cancel right now?
Customer #10: FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!

This is not an exaggeration. These are all things potential guests have either said to me, one of my coworkers or one of my employees in person or over the phone. People do not like you to be sold out.

It's a weird concept. You want to stay in a nice hotel that obviously other people want to stay in as well but yet you don't want the hotel to ever have enough guests to sell out. If a hotel never sells out, the hotel must not be all that great.

Hotels with rooms for $500 a night sell out because they are nice hotels and people are willing to pay that much for everything they offer. There are some hotels with rooms for $50 a night and they have availability. Why do you think that is?

GAY: Update

One of my first blog posts was titled GAY. If you haven't read it, I would suggest you read it now otherwise you just won't understand this post.

In the previous post I spoke about a couple that literally brought tears to my eyes. They were an older couple who had brought their adopted, closeted, son to the Bay Area to show him the San Francisco Pride Parade. I spoke to one of the men for hours about his life with his partner and I was not only touched that he was willing to share his story with me but I was touched by the story itself.

Ten days ago I was speaking to an employee when the elevator doors opened. Around the corner comes the man who had shared his story with me a few years ago. I lit up. I was so excited to see him and I wanted him to remember me so badly because I had hoped that my time with him meant as much to him as it did to me.

Mr. Groom: You're still working here!?

He remembered me. I was delighted

Working Girl: Yeah, I refused to leave until I got to see you again.

I walked around from the front desk to give him a hug. We started right where we had left off. We talked about life, love and everything in between.

Mr. Groom: You're not still having to deal with that loser ex boyfriend of yours are you?
Working Girl: Not directly, but I am working on a restraining order against him.
Mr. Groom: Good!
Working Girl: How's the family?
Mr. Groom: Everyone's good. The kids are good. We're actually in town to see our granddaughter graduate from high school.
Working Girl: Really? How long will you be with us?
Mr. Groom: Ten Days....you know we tell everyone we know to stay here and I personally am very happy to see you.
Working Girl: Thank You! Yeah, they made me the manager so I'm stuck. But I'm trying to get a writing job so that I can finally leave.
Mr. Groom: Manager! So no more late night hours?
Working Girl: I avoid them the best I can.

Through this conversation I learned that his partner had gotten really sick and was confined to a wheelchair being diagnosed with a form of Polio. Surprisingly enough they found an amazing doctor who, though he isn't cured, has helped him to walk again and now he relies on a cane but he doesn't need a wheelchair. We also talked about his weight loss (thanks in large part to him becoming his partner's caregiver) and the travelling they've done in recent years so that he and his partner can truly live a full life. They even went to the Grand Canyon with his partner in a wheelchair. They are refusing to let their different bouts of illnesses get in the way of the things they've always wanted to do.

I met another son of theirs and the son that they brought the first time was also along for this trip. Each one of them remembered me and I shared a special moment with everyone in the family.

Over the past 10 days I've gotten to spend more time with Mr. Groom and his partner, once again just having my heart filled with love. It's a nice break between dumbass guest to dumbass guest. I really have enjoyed them being at the hotel and I hope that another few years don't go by until I see them again.

Sunita Everhardt

There's a company that stays at our hotel, Thunder Lake, and their account manager is an idiot. She's an idiot AND she's a liar. She became the account manager around the time that I became the manager of the hotel. We've had a few run ins before, never face to face, but over the phone. Each time we've spoken she pulls something out of her ass that makes no sense. Instead of me just bashing her as a person (I don't know her as a person but as the account manager of a multinational company, she's awful) I will explain to you some of the things lies, she has told me.

First Encounter

The first time we spoke she was handling the charges on the Thunder Lake account. Their employees like to make reservations, not show up, and have the company pay for it so she called me to get the charges waived.

Sunita: I don't think we should have to pay because we are so loyal to you guys.
Working Girl: Our loyal guests shouldn't pay?
Sunita: Not for no show charges. I mean, last year alone we stayed with you for 1000 nights.

*Side Note: 1000 nights? In one year? There are 1000 days in a year? Since when did we add on 21 more months in the year?

Working Girl: 1000? Because my records show 10. I think you're adding a few zeroes there, Sunita.

Second Encounter

The hotel was sold out and when she wanted to make reservations she didn't believe that we jut don't hold 10 rooms for her employees everyday.

Sunita: Well why?
Working Girl: Why? Why don't we just hold a block of rooms for you everyday? Would you pay for the rooms not being used?
Sunita: No.
Working Girl: Then you have your answer.

Third (and hopefully final) Encounter

Two of Thunder Lake's employees came to check in with my front desk agent and they didn't have reservations. They thought they did. They gave names and "confirmation numbers" but they could not be found in the system. My front desk agent made them reservations for the night but due to the fact that we were sold out for the rest of the week, they couldn't stay longer than the one night. The next morning I explained to the guests that if something does open up, the rooms are theirs but I can't kick anyone out just for 2 people who didn't have a reservation in the first place.

I received a phone call from Sunita around 10am.

Sunita: I was told that you sent my employees to another hotel and I need to know which ones.
Working Girl: Your employees stayed with us last night.
Sunita: They did? Well I was also told that your housekeeping staff kicked them out of the room at 8am.

*Side Note: My housekeeping staff doesn't start work till 9am. Also, according to her, they didn't stay with us last night but somehow my housekeeping staff kicked them out of their hotel rooms at 8am. Did my staff go to another hotel to kick them out an hour before their shifts start since they obviously didn't stay at our hotel?

Working Girl: Your employees are still checked into my system as we speak.
Sunita: Well...I'm looking at their confirmation numbers in our system so they must be in yours.
Working Girl: Are you looking at our system?
Sunita: No.
Working Girl: Then that really doesn't make a difference does it?
Sunita: Apparently you don't need our business because you're always sold out.

*click*

A few minutes later their travel agent called me and said he didn't make two reservations for that company, only one. He doesn't know how the one didn't go through but he had never even heard the name of the other employee who claimed to have a reservation. Which is something I found interesting because Sunita Everhardt told me that she was looking at BOTH of the confirmation numbers and the guy who booked it said only 1 actually exists.

Sunita Everhardt, you need a new job. One where you can pull outlandish "facts" from your ass and people will believe that they're true. Fox News, Sunita. Apply at Fox News. 

Reflection

It's interesting to reflect upon my jobs and how they've merged. Ever since I became the manager at the hotel, I now spend a lot of time at the office supply store. Because of my copy center background I create all the promotional materials for my company. Due to the fact that I can create things on site, I just take it to the copy center to get printed.

It's strange because I haven't looked at the office supply store in a customer aspect for such a long time. I walk in and I revert back to what I was... an employee. I see my previous co-workers and we exchange pleasantries, I walk over to the copy center and I immediately want to correct the new employees. They just don't do shit right. When I see a fellow customer struggling at the copy machines I walk over to help them.

When I'm not visiting the copy center and I need to get something from the floor, I actually find myself getting upset when the employees ask me if I need any help.

"Help!? Do you not know who I am? Do you not know that I spent X amount of time here and I know every nook and cranny of the store?"

I can't say that. I can't do that. They don't know that I am the Legend of the Working Girl. How would they know that?  Why do I do that? Is that normal to be protective over something that wasn't yours to be protective over in the first place?

I was so happy to leave and give the middle finger to Mr.Budweiser but I will forever have good memories of the store. I loved working there and I had to stop because I was basically being bullied by the store manager. My love of the store and the people will run through my mind forever. I have so many memories (and stories to tell) that it cannot be forgotten.

Maybe I feel this way because I hyped myself up too much. Maybe I'm not the legend I think I am. Maybe I was just one of the hundreds of employees that come and go and I left no footprint at all...but who am I kidding? I'm the best and they know it.

Model Good Looks

Let's face it, some people are better looking than others. Some people say "Everyone is beautiful in their own way" but that's a crock of shit. Realistically there are some extremely good looking people whose appearance makes you double take. This post is dedicated to them.

Australian Seaman

There was a group of Australians working on a boat staying at the hotel when I first started working there. The men in this group were beautiful. It was like a damn swimsuit calendar every single time more than 4 of them would come downstairs. Specifically there was one Aussie who was tall, broad shouldered and brunette. I was convinced his abs were painted on his body, they were perfect. His girlfriend was actually a part of the crew as well, her purpose is something that still confuses me. She was really dim, and thin enough to where you know her job description did not involve heavy lifting. Me, nor my drooling co-workers, could figure out what he saw in her when we were alive and breathing (we were just a little delusional.)

The epitome of their hotness came during one of my first single shifts. I was sitting behind the front desk on my laptop when I hear quite the ruckus. It was all of the shipmates getting off of the elevator and turning the corner dressed up in 'jungle gear.' What I mean by 'jungle gear' is a loincloth and apparently Afro wigs (which I didn't realize were so big in the jungle.) All the guys were only wearing thin pieces of cloth to cover up their goodies and it was quite the sight to see. They dressed up for their boss's birthday and graced the streets of my tiny town with that beauty.

Black Men's Magazine

In plenty of magazines geared towards black men there is an ongoing theme: Bitches. Not bitches as in a behavior or attitude, but women who model with their big asses in a thong covered in baby oil.  I had one of those girls get some copies made at the office supply store. She was a beautiful girl with a body you either want or envy. She had her first spread (no pun intended) in a magazine and she was so proud of it that she wanted copies made to send to her family. Even though I questioned her family dynamic, I made the copies and she went on her way. There were a few copies that came out too dark and she left them behind. A few of my young male coworkers saw the pictures and started freaking out. They fell in love with a picture and made copies of the copy to take home and do ungodly things to. They became dogs in the fullest sense, woofing, barking, drooling, scratching and licking. It was disgusting. But if she can make two semi-civilized men react that way, then more power to her.

Chef You're Yummy

Very recently at the hotel there was a career fair being held. There was a huge turnout of people and one caught my eye. He came in pretty early in the morning wearing jeans, a hoodie and had headphones in his ear. He took them out, smiled at me and asked me where the career fair was being held. I responded, he smiled and walked down the hallway taking my heart with him. I had a few thoughts:

"DAAAAAAAAMN! He's good looking. But there's no way he's going to get a job wearing jeans and a hoodie."

He didn't need to get a job. He was a hiring manager/head chef for the restaurant holding the career fair. It was an amazing two days that we spent together in my head. In all reality we probably spoke five sentences to one another and smiled a handful of times back and forth. I want to say at some point he gave me 'the eye' and I gave it right back to him...but then again that could all be in my head. Either way he was beautiful and he knew it. He walked and smiled with a confidence that only the beautiful people possessed. He can cook for me anytime (originally that last sentence was way dirtier and involved the word 'meat.')

After Hours Shenanigans

There is nothing better than the end of a work day/week. When you worked at the office supply store the shenanigans would kick in.

The average age of the associates who worked at the office supply store was around 24. Where there were some 24 year olds who would have the time of their lives partying, we had the time of our lives during closing. The closing shift was the fun shift. It was the shift in which you would have the younger managers and all of the young employees goofing off. We all worked hard and got the job done but we had fun in the process. This was the difference between working hours and closing.

#1 Music

I know all the words to Dionne Farris' 1997 hit single Hopeless, otherwise known as the "penny with a hole in it" song. This is not by choice. Good song but not the way I choose to groove. This song was one of many on constant repeat at the store. When the doors locked, the music changed. J.B. would blast a mix of death metal and country when he was the closing manager. Chen Doll would encourage us to listen to our various mp3 players because she would do the same. I loved the 90's but sometimes it was refreshing to listen to the songs of the current century.

#2 Language

We were all very professional and courteous to each and every customer that walked through that door between the hours of 8am to 9pm, but at 9:01pm there wasn't a sentence said without the usage of profanity. "This stinky ass customer earlier...," "this dumbass wanted to exchange...," "...and she was a total bitch!," these were just a few of the everyday closing statements. I personally don't trust adults who don't curse so I was happy to be there with my sailor-mouthed coworkers.

#3 Work

Things were more relaxed after closing. We all were tired but something about not having to deal with customers rejuvenated us. We worked faster and harder than we did in the previous hours of our shift because we were having fun. We were able to get things done at our pace, listening to what we wanted to and speaking the way we wanted to...all while getting paid to do so.  This was the only similarity between myself and the graveyard shifters, being able to block out everything and everyone and do your own thing can really motivate you to do your job better.

#4 Fun

The three previous categories all made closing fun, but having actual fun made closing the best shift to have. Carts became racing toys, the furniture pad became a baseball field, and hand baskets became basketball hoops. We found a way to make closing a party, the store an arcade and the world our oyster. Unfortunately not every closing shift was fun, sometimes we had Curly Sue or another older manager but for the most part Chen Doll and J.B. were our closers. Chen Doll was aware of what we did and she couldn't care less if the work was done and done correctly. J.B. was too busy banging a newbie in the cash office to even slightly acknowledge us. All in all, working till 9:30pm wasn't that bad. I didn't mind missing my friend's parties because we were always having a party of our own.

That Dumbass McDonald's Commercial

There is a fairly new McDonald's commercial in which a guest staying at a hotel calls down to the concierge in the morning and asks for McDonald's coffee. When the concierge is trying to explain that a five star hotel doesn't serve McDonald's coffee, the guest says "Well the front desk said 'anything we can do to make your morning better.'"

*sigh* My issue with this commercial is that PEOPLE REALLY DO EXPECT THIS TREATMENT. They expect the person at the front desk to bend over backwards for them and they don't even say thank you because they honestly think it is expected. I have a few stories about the guests like the douche in the McDonald's commercial.

Extra Romance

I was working one afternoon and I got a phone call from a girl who booked a romance package for her and her husband's wedding anniversary.

Extra: Hey I booked a romance package for tonight. My name is [NAME]. I had a question about it.
Working Girl: Yes?
Extra: Can I get a dozen red rose petals on the floor that lead onto the bed and another dozen in a vase on the table.
Working Girl: Are you going to bring that stuff for us to do that?
Extra: No, you guys don't have that?
Working Girl: We're mostly a business hotel, we don't get a lot of requests for that so no, we don't just keep bouquets of roses around.
Extra: Oh, that's weird.

I don't block people from getting any but I definitely don't help you get any. I don't want to have any hand in the story that housekeeping will tell about you tomorrow. I can only imagine one of the housekeepers coming down and saying "I just spent a half an hour cleaning up rose petals and semen."

The Rider

Just in case you're unaware, a rider is a list of celebrity demands. It's the shit that Adele needs to sing like an angel, that the Backstreet Boys need to be amazing and what Kanye needs to be able ramble about absolutely nothing. Apparently it's also the thing that cheap guests need in order to spend less than 12 hours in a hotel.

This happened just the other day, my front desk agent, Tooch, answered the phone to what started off as a normal conversation with a guest, then it turned Hollywood rather quickly.

Rider: Oh my god I'm not gonna be able to check in till like 6pm.
Tooch: That's okay. Check in time is 3pm but you don't HAVE TO check in at that time.
Rider: Okay good. I'm so tired. Can I get a bottle of San Pellegrino and Coconut Water in my room?
Tooch: You can have someone you know bring you a bottle of San Pellegrino and Coconut Water and leave it at the front desk for you. We can give it to you when you check in.
Rider: Oh my god, really? So you don't do that.
Tooch: We wouldn't even have a way to do that.

The best part about this is that she copped an attitude about it. Does that normally happen whenever you stay somewhere other than your house? Do the dudes who you go home with at the end of the night just keep bottles of disgusting mineral water around for you? No? Then don't expect us to.

My issue with this is that these people think it's normal to ask for not normal things. If you're not sure whether or not a hotel provides these things, it probably doesn't. Hotels are pretty much an open book about what services they provide. Would you go into target and ask for an Egg McMuffin and when the sales clerk says "We don't have that," you wouldn't respond with "well what about expect more, pay less?"